Oblivion Results - 11.7.10

[Kirk Noble]

Oblivion begins with Jeremy Sterling standing in the ring, with a somewhat grim look on his face. He faces the crowd, before raising his microphone.

Jeremy Sterling: Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I could stand out here and tell you that I’m proud of the high turn-out for Death’s Desire. I wish I could say that I’m proud of the great talent shown just last week…but sadly, certain factors have made me unable to be any of those things. I’m ashamed of the Kingdom of Pride.

The crowd boos Sterling heavily, but he seems unaffected.

Keith Oswalt: Nice way of the boss telling you your company sucks. Always a good way to start the night…

Eric Witz: I hope this ends me with me getting a raise. Not sure how, but it should…

Jeremy Sterling: Last week, the defining moment of Death’s Desire was ruined when Christian Kane attacked Josh Eagles after his successful defense. It’s a disgrace that him sitting on that ladder in a confident swagger was the final minute of the show. This company used to be about integrity, but now, it appears any vandal can just walk through the door, all thanks to Kurt Noble-

Suddenly, “Dance with the Devil” plays, and Kurt Noble walks out, looking quite belligerent. He gets in the ring, and stares down Jeremy Sterling.

Kurt Noble: Cut the crap Jeremy. You seem so quick to sell-out a guy you value as your “Kingdom of Pride Original.” And besides, let me remind you that the Kingdom of Pride I competed in was just as bloodthirsty as it is now…but this time, it’s got ME to at least point it in the right direction. Under you, this company has flopped three times. Under me? Our most successful shows to date. You, Jeremy Sterling, are a disgrace!

Both men stare one another down, the tension at an all time high…that is, until “King of the World” blasts through the speakers! Josh Eagles walks out with the Valiant Title over his shoulder.

Keith Oswalt: Looks like our Valiant Champion has a few words to say!

Eric Witz: Puh-lease. He leans so far on the Sterling side that he’s practically falling in love with the guy. Get it…get it?!?

Josh Eagles: What’s disgrace is watching the two owners of Kingdom of Pride bicker…over God knows what! You two have been going on for months, claiming that you have the better vision for this company, when really, you’re just upset that the other doesn’t consult you on every little issue. THAT is disgraceful. So, as the champion of this great company, I’m appealing to you both to stop this madness. One of the greatest Main Events in all of Pride’s history was just ruined, and all you can do is complain that it’s the others fault.

Jeremy Sterling: Well…perhaps you’re right. This fighting isn’t really leading the company anywhere, and is really doing more harm than good.

Kurt Noble: I…fine, I agree with you.

Josh Eagles: Good, you agree with me about the Main Event being ruined. Now, the ball’s in your court right now. Christian Kane ruined my victory, and I’m sure he’s going to want a piece of the gold tonight…but does he deserve it? He ran in on my match, spoiled my good friend Chris Hart’s last night with Pride, and attacked me. He needs to pay for what he’s done. I’m willing to give him a shot at this title at Winter Warfare…but it’s going to come with one important condition. Think hard on this one guys…and you had better agree on it.

Josh smiles, eyeing both his bosses…before walking through the curtains! Jeremy Sterling and Kurt Noble look utterly confused, asking the other what exactly just happened.

Keith Oswalt: Wait…what’s the condition?!? Josh Eagles just said he’d give Christian Kane a shot at him on Winter Warfare, but didn’t state what the condition for the match was!

Eric Witz: Well, I guess we’d better be paying attention tonight. I always do. You…not so much.

Keith Oswalt: Looks like it’s going to be another wild Oblivion…

The two Pride GMS eyes each other cautiously, before the scene fades to commerical…

[Kirk Noble]

We cut backstage to the buildings main entrance where we can see Christian Kane opening a door and walking into the building.

Eric Witz: It's Christian Kane! Christian Kane is here!

[Kirk Noble]

"El Mudo - Chacarron Macarron" plays and the fans cheer. John Parker comes to the ring with a smile on his face, dancing atrociously to his music.

Ike Rose: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit! Introducing first, weighing in at 130 pounds, from Florida by way of Nottingham, England, John Parker!

Following John Parker’s entrance, Orge Lambart comes out from behind the curtains while “Through The Fire and Flames” by DragonForce plays. Snarling at the fans as he makes his way to the ring, he finally climbs in, looking at the diminutive John Parker across the ring from him as Ike Rose introduces him to the crowd.

Ike Rose: And his opponent, from…

Before Ike Rose can finish the statement, similar to last week, Orge Lambart sprints across the ring and nails John Parker with a huge lariat, taking Parker down to the mat. Not taking a moment to rest, Orge begins to repeatedly stomp on Parker before finally lifting him back up throwing him in the corner and hitting him with a few forearms. After doing this, Lambart pulls Parker out of the corner and viciously body slams him to the mat. After hitting the body slam Lambart puts his foot on top of Parker, covering him in the process,

1...

Kick out!

Keith Oswalt: What a cheap way to start the match! Orge Lambart seems to be making a habit of attacking his opponent during the introductions.

Eric Witz: To be fair, it’s kind of a sound strategy. He definitely doesn’t stand to lose much by doing it, and it shows he’s came to fight.

Keith Oswalt: He’s attacking before the bell rings! That’s against the rules, and he should be fined for it!

Eric Witz: Who’s going to hand him that fine, you?

Keith Oswalt: … Nevermind.

Following the kick out, Orge Lambart lifts Parker back up to his feet, but in the process of doing this, Parker fires back with an uppercut, throwing Lambart out of the way. Enraged that Parker hit an offensive move on him, Lambart sprints at Parker, but as he does this, Parker side steps Lambart and drops him into the second turnbuckle with a drop toehold! After hitting this move, Parker quickly gets up to his feet and backs a few steps away from Lambart before jumping up and sitting on Lambart’s back, slamming Lambart further into the turnbuckle!

Despite the unorthodox offense, Lambart seems to recover quickly as he stirs and begins to get back up to his feet, however for his efforts, Parker kicks him repeatedly in the legs before finally attempting to Irish whip him. But, due to Lambart’s much larger frame, Parker’s attempt is ineffective as instead Lambart is able to pull Parker back to him and nails him with a short arm lariat. Falling to the mat but quickly getting back up, Lambart now charges at Parker and nearly annihilates him with a huge lariat. After being nailed with this move, Parker remains on the ground, but Lambart scoops him up off of the ground before finally throwing him over his head and hitting him with a huge northern lights suplex. Not bridging into the cover, Lambart instead keeps his arm wrapped around Parker’s body as he rotates and again pulls Parker and himself up off of the mat. Now rushing into the corner, Lambart crushes Parker’s spine to the turnbuckles as he holds him there. Again hitting with crushing force, Parker nearly goes limp before Lambart finally stands up and hits Parker with a hip toss, throwing him to the ground mercilessly.

Keith Oswalt: My god, Lambart has been totally annihilating John Parker so far. Parker seems to hardly be able to get a move in before he’s swatted back down by the much larger man.

Eric Witz: Good, hopefully it’ll knock some sense into the dumb kid. I still can’t believe he’s actually a wrestler here.

After hitting this move, Orge Lambart heads to the top rope, where here he looks down at Parker before leaping off of the top rope and hitting him with a Death from Above (Diving head butt)! After hitting this move, Orge Lambart goes for a cover on Parker,

1...

2...

Kick out!

Becoming increasingly frustrated with his inability to put John Parker down, Orge Lambart again lifts Parker up off of the mat and throws him into the corner. Here, he now whips Parker across the ring into the opposite ropes, letting Parker crash backfirst into the turnbuckles. Screaming, Orge Lambart sprints across the ring and leaps up into the air going for an avalanche splash, but as Orge does this, Parker moves out of the way and as soon as Orge slams into the turnbuckles, John Parker rolls him up,

1...

2...

3!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, via pinfall, at 5 minutes and 2 seconds, John Parker!

Keith Oswalt: Parker did it, and he hardly put any offense in!

Eric Witz: Somehow the moron got lucky. Good for him, I guess.

Moments after the victory, JDP stands up...and a hooded man rushes through the crowd. He goes over the guard rail, gets in the ring, and nails JDP with a Big Boot! He begins to hammer down on him, and JDP stuggles to cover up. He then lifts up JDP, and begins to mercilessly slam his head on a turnbuckle, bustin him open, before slamming him back down on the canvas! He stares at JDP, his face unknown to the world around him as he gets booed relentless.

Keith Oswalt: JDP has been laid out by this unknown man! What the Hell is the reason for this?

Eric Witz: Who cares? Breathing practically makes you a target in this promotion!

The man looks at JDP, before leaving the ring, and exiting the arena. JDP isn't able to get up as the scene fades to black.

[Kirk Noble]

Moments after the attack on JDP, the camera switches to backstage, where the silent man is walking, ignoring anyone around him. After a few moments, Alex Avice runs beside him, a microphone in his hand.

Alex Avice: Excuse me! Why on Earth did you just do that to JDP? In fact, who are-

He doesn't finish his statement, as the man turns, grabs Avice by the throat, and pushes him up against a wall! He then lifts up Avice, choking the air out of him, before throwing him against another wall! He begins to kick him relentlessly, before slamming him face first into the wall! Alex's face is now bleeding, but the man doesnt stop, as he chokes Avice out! He finally drops him, before walking off, leaving Alex Avice in a bloody state...

Keith Oswalt: What the Hell is going on here?!? That man has taken out JDP and now Alex Avice, and it's only been the first match!

Eric Witz: Jesus that's a lot of blood. Everyone sure is hungover after a bloody Death's Desire...

The scene fades out as EMTS come rushing to his aid...

[Kirk Noble]

The scene switches to a well-lit locker room, revealed to be Obscene's as he steps into view. He looks tense and almost paranoid as he paces up and down the room, as if he's having a crisis of confidence or something. There's an open black gym bag sitting on top of a table. He stops and grabs a half-empty bottle of water, then juggles it from hand to hand, eyes crossed as if weighing up a decision. He's startled by a loud knock at the door and drops the bottle.

Obscene: That's it. I can't do this...

He picks up the bottle, stuffs it in the bag, and takes the bag with him to the door. He opens it to find a frustrated-looking backstage worker.

Worker: You do know you've got a match in less than a minute, right? Everyone's looking for you. What're you still do-

Obscene shoves the confused worker out of the way, and walks down the hall towards the exit.

Worker: Where are you going!? There's no way Sterling'll let you back in if you walk out now!

Obscene shouts back without turning his head.

Obscene: He'll understand.

Worker: And Noble?

Obscene: At least one of the two will.

Worker: What makes you think that will be enough?

Obscene stops walking. The worker runs up past him to block his path before he changes his mind and continues.

Worker: What's wrong anyway?

Obscene: I can't THINK! That's what's wrong. Everything... everyone... they're coming at me from all sides. Storm... The Legend... everyone.

Worker: Are you sure you're not overreacting? Who's everyone? Who else?

Obscene sneers.

Obscene: What do you know? There's so much bothering me I don't know how it started. If you push me out there, I'll faint before I make it to the ring, I swear.

Worker: On purpose?

Obscene: I will if I have to. No... wait a minute! Listen! I'm just gonna lie down here, alright! Find Sterling or Noble or anyone and tell 'em I fainted. Alright!?

Worker: What the hell is wrong with you? Just get out there, for god's sake! You're Obscene, dammit!

Obscene: Yeah, I'm Obscene, not fucking Superman. I can't worry about The Legend when I'm wrestling Storm. I can't think about wrestling Storm when The Legend's out to get me. The whole fucking world's out to get me now. You'd think he's royalty or something.

Worker: Well, he is a pretty big star...

Obscene: Like I give a fuck. What the hell can he do that I can't? I could be in a fucking movie. Piece of piss.

Worker: Yeah, yeah, of course you could. The Legend isn't here tonight, by the way.

Obscene: WHAT!?

Obscene drops his bag to the floor and runs back down the corridor in the direction of the ring area.

[Kirk Noble]

The lights in the arena dim as "Black Celebration" by Depeche Mode begins to play. Immediately the fans boo loudly, and after a few moments Obscene walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a plain white t-shirt and black jeans. He stares at the fans with a malevolent expression on his face and slowly walks towards the ring and then up the ring steps. He climbs into the ring, and ignoring the boos he backs up into a corner of the ring, giving a sly nod to his small following of fans way back in the arena.

Ike Rose: The following match-up is a singles match, scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 190 pounds, and hailing from Monterrery, Mexico…Obscene!

Keith Oswalt: Eric, you and I have known Obscene for years…and I don’t think we’ve ever seen him like he is right now. Confused, lost, unsure of himself…I’m not sure how focused Obscene is on this match-up tonight, after dropping a loss to Kid Flanagan at Death’s Desire.

Eric Witz: Oh, he’ll be fine once Storm charges him, and he shits his pants in surprise. Nothing like a fresh soiling to get the blood running!

The lights in the arena completely cut out as a hushed silence born of anticipation falls over the crowd and spotlights scan the entrance ramp.
THERE WILL BE NO STOPPING (oohh-whee)
IT’S WHEN YOU GO HARDER THAN SOMEBODY, MAN
THIS RIGHT HERE (ha), IS DOMINATION (whoo)

The spoken words ring out over the PA system as “Roundtable Domination” begins to ring out throughout the arena and the crowd erupts in boos and the spotlights converge on the large figure of Storm, who has one arm reaching almost straight up and the other bent at a right angle. He then walks purposefully to the ring, ignoring the fans aside from perhaps an occasional insult to a front row audience-goer. Storm reaches the ring and climbs up the steps before stepping through the ring ropes and assuming his position in his corner, completely focused and ready to go.

Ike Rose: And his opponent, weighing in at 295, and hailing from Miami, Florida…Storm!

Keith Oswalt: The interesting thing about this match-up is that both these men seem so different than they were the last time we saw them. Storm seems much more sophisticated, and Obscene seems more lost. I’m curious as to how this will affect the aggressive styles both men usually employ.

Eric Witz: So, did you miss Storm and Jaden Hunter ripping the Hell out of one another, or what…?

Referee Chris Owens signals for the bell, and both men eye each other, unaware of how exactly to act. The much larger Storm moves in closer towards Obscene, backing him into a corner. He goes to grab the smaller man, but Obscene darts under his arms, runs off the ropes…but unfortunately for him, runs into the massive arm of Storm. Then, using one arm, Storm lifts up Obscene, and throws him over the top rope to the floor below! Obscene takes a moment, grabbing his nose in pain, as Storm rolls out of the ring, grabs Obscene, and slams his head against the apron before tossing him back into the ring. He then tries to get in the ring himself, but Obscene jumps up, hitting a dropsault on Storm, who manages to hold onto the ropes. Sensing an opportunity, Obscene then runs, rebounds off the ropes, and hits an enziguri on Storm to send him off the apron! Obscene then hops on the turnbuckle, and as Storm gets up, Obscene moonsaults off….but Storm catches him! He goes to throw Obscene at the steel post, but Obscene wiggles out of his grasp, sending Storm headfirst into the post!

Storm bounces off, only seeming lightly faxed by the hit. Obscene hops on the apron, and jumps off, hitting a Tornado DDT on Storm! The crowd cheers in ecstasy as both men try to get up. Obscene grabs Storm, and hits him with a few hard shots to the face, before throwing him back into the ring. Obscene gets on the apron, and flings himself back into the ring, hitting a leg drop on Storm. He goes for the pin…

1…

Kickout by Storm!

Keith Oswalt: Wow. Obscene just unleashed a flurry of offense, but Storm is still reacting normally. Obscene is doing one Hell of a job, but can he keep it up?

Eric Witz: Of course he can! The bigger they are, the harder they all. Well…when you bring up stupid clichés, they seem to work…

Storm pulls himself up, but Obscene begins to hit some hard kicks on his side, slowing Storm’s movement. He goes for a high kick, but Storm catches his foot, before popping Obscene right between the eyes ! He stumbles about, before getting a kick to the stomach, sending him down. He lifts up Obscene, and Irish Whips him. He goes down, and Obscene stops, kicking him in the face, but Storm once again seems unaffected. Storm tries to grab him, but Obscene trips him up, before hitting a kick on Storm that sends him under the bottom rope, and out of the ring. Obscene then hops on the apron, and as Storm gets up, goes for a hurricanrana off the apron…but Storm catches him in midair! Obscene wiggles about, but Storm rushes forward, slamming his back into the steel post! Without dropping Obscene, then walks over, and powerbombs him onto the steel guard rail!

Obscene falls, screaming and writhing about in pain, his back twitching crazily. Storm eliminated the count by getting back in the ring, before rolling back out. He then lifts up Obscene, and walks back over to the steel steps. He lifts up Obscene, and drops him with the Thunderclap (Powerbomb) onto the steel steps!!! Obscene is nearly knocked out as he lies on the steps, barely moving. Chris Owens yells angrily at Storm, threatening to disqualify him, but Storm doesn’t listen. He throws Obscene back into the ring, before stomping on his back. He lifts Obscene up, locking in a bear hug, which Obscene tries to fight out of. He writhes about, but Storm shakes him, causing Obscene to go limp. Storm drops Obscene, and goes for a pin…

1…

2…

3-Obscene barely kicks out!

Eric Witz: Obscene might need one of those ice pads for his soon to be broken back. Maybe I should go give him one…

Keith Oswalt: Oh yeah, that sounds smart. “Local wrestling commentator is killed by massive man after trying to provide back relief to another nan.”

Eric Witz:…Hurtful now, aren’t you?

Storm continues to stomp on Obscene’s back, not letting up on his assault. He lifts up Obscene, and drills him with a sidewalk slam, before signaling for the end! He lifts up Obscene for the Lightening Strike (Al Snow Spinebuster), but Obscene hits him with an elbow to the back of the head before he can hit it! Obscene then spins, nailing Storm with a huge kick, before springobarding off the ropes,over Storm, and taking him down with a neckbreaker! Obscene gets on the turnbuckle, and moonsaults off…nailing Storm! He pins him…

1…

2…

3-Kickout by Storm!

Keith Oswalt: Obscene is about to win this match-up! What an upset this would be!

Eric Witz: I know Storm would be upset, but I didn’t know you felt so strongly…

Obscene holds his back in pain, before kicking Storm. Storm gets up, and Obscene runs off the ropes, dodging a clothesline from Storm. He springboards off the ropes…but runs right into a big boot from Storm in mid-air! Just as Obscene gets up, he's nailed with the Thunderbolt (Spear)! Storm pins him...

1...

2...

3!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, with a time of 8 minutes and 33 seconds...Storm!

Keith Oswalt: Obscene just seems overwhelemed Eric. When does it get easier for him?

Eric Witz: When he...wins, maybe?

Storm walks to the back as the scene fades...

[Kirk Noble]

“Excuse me, ma’am? Are you lost?”

The “ma’am” in question was a stunningly beautiful woman with tanned skin and dark hair with blond highlights. She was wearing an off-white skirt suit with matching heels and a chocolate brown blouse under her jacket. Upon hearing the question, she picked up the black briefcase that lay beside her, taking her time to lean down in a way so as to accentuate her figure, and turned to the approaching security guard.

Batting her eyelashes, she replied “No, not at all. I’m waiting on someone.”

The security guard seemed taken aback, probably from both her beauty and her nonchalant answer. He choked on his words for a moment and then managed to continue. “Well, I’m afraid I don’t recognize you and this area is for authorized personnel only. I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.”

The woman’s sweet demeanor instantly turned icy cold, he eyes looking over the out of shape and poorly groomed security guard. Based on his appearance, he could have been Super Mario.

“I can assure you I belong here, and in fact have more business here than you do. Now, why don’t you run along before I talk to Mr. Noble about getting your rent-a-cop license taken away.”

That didn’t sit well with him. “Mario” puffed out his chest, drawing his potbelly in as he began to swagger toward the rude and seemingly out of place woman. He didn’t plan on harming her, but he reached an arm out toward her to guide her out of the building. As he did so though he noted she was suddenly looking past him, a cruel smirk playing across her fine features.

“Ahem,” came a very loud throat clearing sound from behind the security guard that froze him in his tracks. He gulped and slowly turned around and found himself face-to-chest with Storm. Still shirtless and fresh off his victory, Storm glistened with sweat and was still breathing just a bit more heavily than normal. “Is something wrong, ‘Jimmy?’” Storm asked after he reading forward and grabbing a hold of the security guard’s name badge, pulling it at an angle from his shirt so as to better read it.

“Well…” the guard began nervously before regaining his bluster. “Well, this woman here is unauthorized and as per company policy I was going to…errrm, remove her…” he said before beginning to trail off nervously as he looked up at Storm, who was simply staring at him.

“This woman is Dr. Nicole Morera, and she’s here with me,” growled Storm intimidatingly. “And as a doctor and a guest of mine I think you owe her an apology.”

Jimmy locked eyes with Storm, his lower lip quivering as he tried to well up the bravery to stand his ground and get out of this with some dignity. Though Storm made no aggressive move toward him, though, he couldn’t manage to do it. He sunk back and turned around, lowering his eyes in shame.

“Sor…sorry, ma’am,” he muttered.

“Sorry, who?” Storm said forcefully from behind, locking eyes with Dr. Morera as she smiled, seemingly enjoying the man’s humiliation for her benefit.

“Sorry, Dr. Morera,” Jimmy corrected himself, any semblance of pride gone from the man. He looked like he just wanted to melt into a crack in the floor.

“Oh, it’s ok,” Nicole said, suddenly smiling warmly at him again. “Just don’t let it happen again,” she then added, reverting to an ice queen.

Still looking down, Jimmy shifted his weight when Storm once again cleared his throat and indicated with a jerk of his neck that Jimmy should scram. Without meeting Storm’s gaze, Jimmy turned and walked off, pulling up his pants by the belt and not looking back.

“So you forgot to get me a backstage pass then?” asked Nicole as she placed her hands defiantly on her hips.

“I didn’t expect you to be here this week. Nor did I expect you to actually bring what I’m assuming is in that briefcase.”

“Well, I am, and I did. I told you I’d be accompanying you.”

“Yeah, so you did,” Storm said as he directed a lopsided grin at the much shorter woman. After a pause, he added “Well, Noble’s been wanting to meet you, so l might as well take you to his office before I hit the showers. He can get you a pass too, I guess.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said before waving her arm around in an exaggerated motion, waiting for Storm to point her in the right direction. “After you.”

[Kirk Noble]

Backstage in the locker room of Shawn Stevens and Robbie Venom we find the pairing as they prepare for the individual matches. Venom is on the floor stretching as Stevens is standing jogging in place. As both men continue their routines someone knocks on the door. Venom's head snaps up as Stevens looks at the door with a grin.

Robbie Venom: What? It could be those two asshats.

Shawn Stevens: Nah, I ordered something.

Robbie Venom: What? What'd you order? Food? Before a match? You're crazy!

Shawn Stevens: Remember I said I had an idea for a name...well I printed up shirts.

Stevens walks to the door and opens it as a UPS delivery man stands there with a medium sized box.

Delivery Guy: You Stevens?

Shawn Stevens: Yes sir.

Delivery Guy: Sign here.

Stevens takes the digital clipboard and signs his name then hands it back and takes the box from the guy. Stevens shuts the door behind him and takes the box to the table in the room. He grabs his keys and slices the box open with them. Stevens looks into the box and his smile grows. Venom gets off the ground and tries to peer over Shawn's shoulder.

Robbie Venom: I wanna see!

Shawn Stevens: Fine.

Stevens turns around with the shirt balled up as Venom looks on inquisitively.

Shawn Stevens: Now you said it and I said it. We're both here for new challenges and to bring our careers back to the highest level we can like we both had over a year ago. It's a rebirth for us right?

Venom nods.

Shawn Stevens: So I figured this name was fitting....I like I said, I knew you wouldn't argue.

Robbie Venom: Quit building it up! I have a match!

Stevens chuckles as he holds the shirt from the collar and lets the rest fall to reveal the logo.



Venom's mouth hangs slightly open.

Robbie Venom: That's pretty.

Shawn Stevens: Yup, I think this is fitting for all intents and purposes.

Robbie Venom: Sweet. I'll try mine on when I get back from beating Jaden Hunter.

Shawn Stevens: Good luck!

Venom leaves as the image cuts back to the ring to wait for the competitors.

[Kirk Noble]

"Your love is like bad madicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad madicine
There ain't no doctor that can
Cure my disease"

The verse kicks in as smoke engulfs the stage, covering the entirety of the entrance ramp. The lights flash purple and red animalistically, and the arena knows who is coming.

"I aint got a fever got a permanent disease
It'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy
I got lots of money but it isnt what I need
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me
I got all the symptoms count em 1,2,3"

Robbie Venom steps out from behind the curtain, extending his arms to his sides cockily and grinning as the lights center on him, still flashing, creating even more dramatic effect as more smoke rises.

Robbie walks down through the smoke, slapping hands with some fans as he does, and then pauses at the bottom of the ramp to point at himself.

Robbie slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, and makes his way to the other side of the ring, bouncing up, one foot on the middle and the other on the bottom rope, throwing an arm up the air.

Robbie then applauds the crowd briefly and heads to his corner, awaiting the start of the match.

[/i][/center]

Ike Rose: The following match-up is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 214 pounds, and hailing from Wrexham, United Kingdom…Robbie Venom!

Keith Oswalt: You have to wonder if Robbie Venom can focus on the relentless Jaden Hunter after his little scrimmages with Epic Angle.

Eric Witz: Oh please. After getting THE BEATDOWN from Storm, I’m sure Jaden Hunter’s attention span is just as short! Just throw a shiny object in the ring, and these two will both fall on the floor in confusion!

The crowd begins to get vocal, as the arena lights dim to a dark green hue. Stepping through the entrance, Jaden Hunter smirks as he looks around the arena. "Warrior" by Disturbed begins to play now, causing the fans to boo loudly. Jaden strokes his beard quickly, and then frowns at the closest fan.

The fans begin to chant "XPLODE XPLODE XPLODE" as he makes his way down the rampway, gesturing for the crowd to be silent. Rolling under the bottom rope now, Jaden approaches a nearby turnbuckle, raising both fists upon his arrival. He then hops back down, turning to face the referee as his theme song slowly fades out.

Ike Rose: And introducing his opponent, weighing in at 272 pounds, and hailing from San Francisco, California…Jaden Hunter!

Keith Oswalt: It’s very rare you see a man be able to counter the ferocity and power of Storm…but here’s a man that did it surprisingly well at Death’s Desire. You can Jaden isn’t too high up on Kurt Noble’s Facebook friends list…

Eric Witz: Oh, definitely. I mean, if my boss suspends me and then tries to have me beaten done, I’m sure he loves me and will accept my Christmas cards!

The bell rings, and referee Chris Owens signals for the match to begin. Both Jaden and Venom begin to circle up, either eyes locked intently on one another. They go to lock-up, but Jaden is able to use his superior strength to push Venom into the corner. However, using his ring smarts, Venom ducks a strong hand by Jaden, and responds with his own set of punches, pulling him against the ropes. Venom quickly Irish Whips Jaden, who reverses the move. Venom then ducks a clothesline, before jumping off the ropes…right into a midair shoulder thrust from Jaden! Venom goes down, holding his shoulder in pain, before being blasted with a kick by Jaden, who then lifts up Venom and slams him into a corner. Jaden Irish Whips Venom, and then charges him, but Venom brings up his knee, slamming it into the stomach of Jaden, before running off the ropes and nailing him with a spinning neckbreaker! Venom lifts Jaden to his feet, and then runs off the ropes…but right into a Big Boot from Jaden!

Venom goes down, but isn’t down long. Jaden lifts him up in a stalled Gorilla Press Slam position, but Venom wiggles his way out, landing behind Jaden and then kicking him with a dropsault, sending Jaden into the corner. Venom gets up, and charges him, but Jaden sends him flying back with a shoulder tackle. Venom stumbles, but doesn’t give up, charging Jaden again, only this time running into a clothesline from the bigger man. Jaden then lifts up Venom, and effortlessly throws him into the corner, before slamming him with a variety of shots to the face, nearly sending Venom off his feet. He clings onto the ropes, absorbing every blow, before throwing in his own shot. He doesn’t manage to faze Jaden, who then lifts Venom into the air, spins, and slams him down with a two handed choke! Jaden covers him…

1…

2…

Kickout by Robbie Venom!

Keith Oswalt: Robbie Venom is a resilient competitor. We’ve seen it in his dozens of other wins in various companies. But being manhandled here in the beginning will not work towards his favor. He needs to use his speed, instead of trying to overpower Jaden like he just tries to.

Eric Witz: Excellent observation. How about you two trade places? I think he’ll have more interesting things to discuss.

Jaden lifts up Venom, locking him in the suplex position, but Venom blocks it, and manages to slam Jaden with his own suplex! The crowd applauds Venom’s efforts, as he quickly gets up. As Jaden also tries to get up, he gets a kick to the ribs, sending him back down. Venom goes for another, but Jaden catches his foot, before sending him down, and then falling backwards, sending Venom flying over the ropes…but he manages to keep a hold of the top rope! He quickly hops up onto the top turnbuckle, and stalks over Hunter, who turns just in time to duck a crossobdy from Venom! Now, Jaden stalks Venom, and right as he gets up, Venom is laid right back down with spear from Jaden, followed by a pinfall attempt…

1…

2…

Kickout by Venom!

Sensing an opportunity, Jaden lifts up Venom, and locks in a torture rack on Venom, who yells out a bit in pain. He then reaches out his arm, and grabs a hold of the top ropes, forcing Jaden to swing him over the ropes…but Venom lands on his feet! Jaden tries to grab him, but Venom slams his stomach with his shoulder, before jumping into the ring, attempting the Antidote (720 Springboard DDT) on Jaden…who manages to throw Venom off! He gets lucky again, barely landing on his feet, and stumbling against the ropes. Jaden reacts, trying to grab him, but a drop toe hold from Venom sends Jaden bouncing off the ropes. Venom then grabs him from behind, and nails him with an inverted DDT. After getting a bit of breath, Venom lifts up Storm, and tries to shove him into a corner, but Jaden reverses it, and slams Venom’s back into the turnbuckle, before bringing him into the middle of the ring, and charging feverishly into the turnbuckle, slamming Venom’s back even more into turnbuckle. He backs up to opposite end of the ring, and charges Venom…but Venom brings up his leg, sending it straight into Jaden’s face, causing him to stumble back! He then leaps, flooring Jaden with a leg lariat. Sensing his own opportunity, Venom springboards off the ropes, hitting a spinning leg-drop on Jaden. Chris Owens counts the fall…

1…

2…

Kickout by Jaden Hunter!

Eric Witz: See, Robbie’s not so tough without his little fed-foreclosing buddies around him, now is he?

Keith Oswalt: Robbie Venom sure has picked up the pace of this match. I think right now, we’re seeing a more aggressive, more sleek Robbie Venom than we’ve seen in years. He’s manages to avoid Jaden’s harder shots, and respond back with his own over-the-top offense. Really top notch work by both men so far.

Venom grabs both of Jaden’s legs, and tries to lock in The Poison (Liontamer), but Jaden uses his leg strength to push Venom away. As he tries to get up, Venom hits him with a string of hard punches, throwing the big man off focus. He responds back with his own strong jabs, and both men stumble a bit. Jaden then goes for a clothesline, but Venom ducks, and responds with a Pele Kick! Jaden stumbles off the ropes, and Venom goes to grab him, but Jaden reverses an Irish Whip, and nails Venom with the Drop Zone (Pedigree)!! Both men are on the canvas, exhausted from the aggressive style of the match. Both men slowly get up, and Jaden grabs Robbie, drilling him with the Poer Plant (Powerbomb)! He pins Robbie...

1...

2...

3!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, with a time of 10 minutes and 46 seconds...Jaden Hunter!

Keith Oswalt: Wow, what a victory by Jaden Hunter!He just managed to beat the multiple time champion Robbie Venom!

Eric Witz: Yeah. He seems a bit distratced though. Wandering if Storm could be anywhere around the corner...

Jaden wastes little time. He grabs a microphone, and speaks.

Jaden Hunter: I'm not one for big marvekous speeches, so I'll cut to the chase. At Death's Desire, Storm sold out and became Kurt Noble's lapdog. If the boss wants me so badly out of the compnay, then dammi,t he'll have to beat me so badly that I'm carried out on a stretcher.Night week Storm, I want you to come out to the ring, and face me like a man. I don't even care about a damn match...but we're not finished. Not even close.

He drops the microphone, and leaves, as does Venom.

Keith Oswalt: Jaden Hunter has called out Storm for his attack at Death's Desire. Storm clearly has an agenda, but for the life of me, I'm not sure what it is...

Eric Witz: Well, if Storm shows up next week, we'll find out!

The scene fades out.

[Kirk Noble]

”Now, I am become Death. The destroyer of Worlds.”

*The the words of Oppenheimer finish and the slow, melodic beat of “Reise Reise” fills the arena, the giants Somba and Balraj enter through the curtain. Their manager and trainer, Kaja Reinhardt is in tow, drilling the men with their game plan in her native German tongue. The crowd watches in awe as the two behemoths enter the ring. They waste no time taunting. They don’t acknowledge the crowd. They’re ready to brutalize the opposition.*

Ike Rose: The following tag team match-up is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 730 pounds, and being accompanied by Kaja Reinhardt…Somba and Balraj… Der Krieg Maschinen!

Keith Oswalt: I’m not sure what to make of The Krieg right now. They’ve always been known as the most dominant team in the Kingdom of Pride, but these last few weeks, they’ve been…well, absent, physically and mentally. Perhaps some good old tag team actions can get them back into the game.

Eric Witz: Well, I’m not sure how much tag team wrestling these two do. Killing, yes. Thrashing, yes. But tag team wrestling….not likely.

'Remedy' by Cold plays and Stephen Callaway, Bruce Hendrickson, and Missy step through the curtain with the Scramble Championships! They stand back to back Callaway does a V1 prayer with his nose between his first two fingers, Missy holds her hands together in a gun shape like Charlie's Angels. The moment the two have got their taunt in place the smoke machine sends a cloud upwards behind them. As they walk to the ring, Callaway does his best to look intimidating while Missy walks, almost dancing behind him. Callaway walks up the steps and through the ropes while Missy sits on the turnbuckles and rolls in like Beth Phoenix. Once in the ring they stand side by side, Callaway doing his V1 Prayer and Missy holding her two pinkies together in the shape of an S.[/i]

Ike Rose: And their opponents, weighing in a combined weight of 454 pounds, and being accompanied by Missy…Bruce Hendrickson and Stephen Callaway…Epic Angle!

Keith Oswalt: Those…those are the Scramble Championships around the waists of Epic Angle!

Eric Witz: Gold is a nice look for Stephen Callaway…

Chris Owens hesitantly takes the belts, as Bruce Hendrickson and Somba take the ring. The two men go to lock-up, but Bruce dodges it, and begins to pound on Somba’s back…having no effect. Somba turns around, and yells angrily at Bruce, who tries to bail out of the ring…but gets grabbed, and slammed in the corner. Somba hits him with some hard shots, before Irish Whipping him. Bruce bounces roughly off the turnbuckle, and walks right into a Samoan Drop from Somba! Somba then runs off the ropes, and goes for a leaping headbutt…but Bruce rolls out of the way, and Somba slams against the canvas. Bruce begins to hit him with some kicks, and goes to Irish whip Somba, but it gets reversed. As Somba charges Bruce, he puts his foot up, causing it to slam against the face of Somba, who stumbles backwards. Bruce charges him…but gets lifted up, and dropped with a might powerslam! Somba then takes to his corner, and as Bruce gets up, he’s dropped with a two handed bull-dog. He goes to pin Bruce…

1…

2…

The pin is broken up by Stephen Callaway!

Eric Witz: I love Stephen Callaway. So resourceful…

Keith Oswalt: Yes, I’m sure he’s the first man to ever break up a pinfall…

Somba eyes Callaway, who fakes a thrust towards Somba, getting him a small pop. Somba then tags in Balraj, who gets into the ring. Bruce gets up, but is nailed quickly with a chop to the chest, sending him reeling. Balraj effortlessly throws him into the corner, and charges him, before Callaway runs forward and hits him with a low dropkick to the shins. Balraj almost trips, and Bruce hits a dropkick on his face this time, sending him reeling. Bruce tags in Callaway, who fearlessly pushes Balraj up against the ropes, and hammers on him with some stiff hands. He hits some hard right hands on him, following it up with a forearm shot. He Irish Whips Balraj, who reverses the move, and hits Callaway with a Big Boot off the rebound! He lifts up Callaway, and pushes him into the corner, before nails him with a hellacious European Uppercut. He Irish Whips Callaway, but Callaway tries to reverse it. Balraj doesn’t allow it, and goes in for a clothesline, but Callaway ducks it and nails Balraj with a Calsi Kick (Superkick)!

Balraj stumbles, and Callaway kicks him in the stomach, before nailing him with a huge DDT to knock him down! Calaway then hops up on the turnbuckle, and jumps off, hitting a moonsault on Balraj! He is about to pin him, but Somba gets in the ring, and hits Callaway with a kick. Bruce hops back in the ring, and goes to tackle Somba, but gets grabbed, and slammed with an STO! Callaway jumps Somba, and hits him with a few shots, before Irish Whippng him and nails him with a dropkick! Callaway turns, and gets nailed with a short arm clothesline by Balraj! He pins Callaway…

1…

2…

Callaway kicks out!

Keith Oswalt: These teams are working together. What teams!

Eric Witz: Useless comment goes here!

Balraj lifts up Callaway, but Callaway strikes at his side. He then moves over, and tags in a reluctant Bruce Hendrickson. He gets in the ring, and attacks Balraj, hammering down on him. Bruce pushes Balraj into the corner, and runs into the opposite corner. He charges, going for a 3-point stance clothesline, but Balraj rushes forward and nails him with boot to the face! Balraj then turns, and nails Callaway with an elbow to knock him off the turnbuckle. Bruce gets up, but falls victim to the Punjabu Bomb (Tiger Bomb)! Balraj looks at the fallen Callaway, before making the pinfalll..

1…

2…

3!

Ike Rose: Here are your winners, with a time of 6 minutes and 44 seconds…The Krieg!

[Kirk Noble]

The segment begins with Kurt Noble sitting at his desk, apparently looking over some paper work. After a few moments, a knock is heard at the door.

Kurt Noble: Come in…

The door opens, and in walks Johnny Noble, who has a disgusted look on his face. He walks up to his brothers desk, but neither seems glad to see the other.

Kurt Noble: Looks Johnny, I’m a little busy after this whole Eagles nonsense-

Suddenly, Johnny drops a plastic bag on the desk. The inside is covered in red, and Noble seems hesitant as he looks at it.

Kurt Noble: Uh…what the Hell is this, and why is it on my desk?

Johnny Noble: Oh, this? It’s a human ear Kurt, A burned ear, might I add. It was nailed to my door. Just thought I’d bring it you as a present.

Kurt looks as if he’s going to throw up. He doesn’t even look at the bag as he speaks.

Kurt Noble: Good God Johnny! Why are you showing ME this?

Johnny Noble: Because maybe you finally need to understand the psychopaths you allow on the roster. Now, I dealt with Orge Lambart, and beat him at his own game. He doesn’t seem to get message. You’re either going to take care of him next week, or I’m going to make Pride history by making Orge the most miserable person in the Kingdom of Pride. Deal with it “bro,” or I’ll find someone that can.

Kurt Noble: I…I’ll take care of it. But don’t do anything rash until I’ve inspected it. God knows we’re getting enough bloodshed tonight.

Johnny Noble smirks, and looks his brother right in the eyes.

Johnny Noble: You haven’t seen anything yet…

Kurt Noble: The Hell does that mean Johnny?

Johnny Noble: Nothing. Just teasing. Enjoy the night…

Johnny walks out, as Noble looks at the bag. His face flushes, as the scene fades out…

[Kirk Noble]

I wanna taste those lips, why don't you shake those hips?
I wanna taste those lips, why don't you shake those hips?
I wanna taste those lips, why don't you shake those hips?
I wanna taste those lips! Why don't you shake those hips!?

"I Know You Are But What Am I?" plays through the speakers and the crowd boos as Christian Kane walks through the curtain with Dani Clarke at his side. CK stops just a few inches from the curtain and looks around the arena as several small barely audible anti-CK chants start up. Dani slowly rubs Kane's abs before he pulls her head back by the hair and they exchange a sloppy french kiss.

After several seconds of this, he pushes her away and begins to walk down to the ring. The music keeps going and CK rushes down to the ring, moves around the side of it, then slides onto the hot apron. CK stands and raises his arms up by his side with a smirk on his face before stepping into the ring.

Dani climbs into the ring as CK ascends to the top of the closest turnbuckle. He looks around at the fans before spotting a pretty girl. He puts a hand to his lips and blows a mocking kiss as her boyfriend stands at the side, becoming enraged by the gesture. CK laughs and looks around some more before stopping at a rather chubby girl. He immediately waves a disgusted hand and jumps off the turnbuckle.

He and Dani meet up in the middle of the ring once more and give each other another french kiss. Christian hands Dani his jacket before telling her to leave 'his' ring, smacking her ass on the way out. The fans keep booing as CK walks to the ropes and blows another patronizing kiss at them. The music dies down as Kane smiles arrogantly in the ring.

Ike Rose: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit, introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 220 pounds, Christian Kane!

The lights go out and the logo of S³ appears on the screen. As "Mama Said Knock You Out" by L.L. Cool J hits and the lights come back on Triple S is standing on the stage in his signature pose with his arms spread in the air. As he lowers his arms he then starts his walk to the ring. When he gets to the ring he poses again in the far corner and then waits for the match to begin.

Ike Rose: And his opponent, representing The Renaissance, weighing in at 223 pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, “Sensational” Shawn Stevens!

As the bell rings and Ike Rose exit’s the ring, Shawn Stevens and Christian Kane circle the ring before finally engaging in a collar and elbow tie up, however, as Stevens attempts to put Christian Kane into a basic wrist lock, Christian Kane pulls back, shaking his head at Stevens, almost in disbelief that he actually allowed Stevens to touch him. Coming towards Christian to wrestle him, Christian Kane steps into the ropes, telling the ref to make Stevens back up. Forced to back up as Christian Kane walks away from him, Stevens makes the unfortunate mistake of turning his back on Christian Kane, and Kane takes full advantage of this as he clips Stevens knees, making him fall to the mat. Quickly pouncing on top of Stevens, Christian Kane locks him into a side headlock on the mat, but hardly holds onto the lock as he begins to bury his fists in the back of Stevens head.

After having laid several punches into Stevens, Christian Kane gets back to his feet and here he begins to stomp away at Stevens back before finally pulling him up. However, as he does this, Stevens throws his knee up and knees Christian in the stomach, kneeling him over in the process. After doing this, Stevens throws his elbow down across the top of Christian’s back. Hitting this, Stevens knees Christian Kane in the face to pop him back up and from here he Irish whips Christian to the ropes and as Christian bounces back, Stevens hits him with a beautiful dropkick. Falling to the mat, Christian Kane gets back up, as does Shawn Stevens and the second Christian Kane faces Stevens, Stevens rockets off an arm drag, throwing Christian back to the mat. Getting up quickly, Christian Kane again turns to face Stevens, and again he is dropped to the mat with an arm drag. However, this time instead of letting go, Stevens turns the hold into a figure four armlock, putting pressure on Christian Kane’s shoulder.

After a few seconds of holding this lock on Christian Kane, Shawn Stevens finally pulls Christian up from the mat and from there releases the hold and knees Christian in the stomach before hitting him with a quick snap suplex. However, Stevens refuses to release the hold as he rolls through the move and again pulls Christian Kane back up to his feet before again throwing Christian down with a second snap suplex. Yet again, Shawn Stevens refuses to release the hold as he rolls through and once more raises to his feet. Here Shawn Stevens lifts Christian Kane up again, but instead of hitting a snap suplex, Shawn Stevens this time holds Christian above his head before dropping him down with a stalled suplex.

Keith Oswalt: A trio of suplexes demonstrated by Shawn Stevens as he takes control of the match.

Eric Witz: Give it time and Christian Kane will have Stevens right where he wants him.

After having hit the third suplex, Shawn Stevens rolls over into a cover,

1...

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Kick out!

Despite the kick out, Shawn Stevens doesn’t seem phased as he gets back up to his feet and begins to stomp on Christian before grabbing Christian’s leg and quickly flipping him over into a single leg liontamer, planting his knee square in the middle of Christian’s back, trying to force him to tap out. Refusing to submit, Christian Kane struggles to the ropes before finally lunging out and wrapping his arm around the rope, forcing Shawn Stevens to break the hold. Keeping the hold locked in until a count of three, Shawn Stevens continues to weaken Christian Kane’s back.

Not giving Christian a clean break, Shawn Stevens goes to pick Christian Kane up off of the mat, but as he does this, Christian Kane gouges Shawn Stevens in the eyes, forcing him to stumble backwards. Now getting up to his feet on his own, Christian Kane stands and as he does, Shawn Stevens stumbles forward into him and here Christian hits Stevens with a scoop slam, throwing Stevens body to the mat. After hitting this move, Christian Kane stomps on Stevens twice before lifting him back up to his feet and kicking Stevens in the stomach, however as he does this, Stevens catches Christian’s foot. Reacting quickly, Christian Kane quickly rockets off an enziguri, dropping Stevens to a knee. Again acting quickly, Christian Kane lifts Stevens back up before snapmaring him over his shoulder and after doing this hitting a dropkick on the back of Stevens head.

Nearly falling over after taking the blow to the back of his head, Stevens somehow retains his posture, however as he stands holding the back of his head, Christian Kane gets back up to his feet before sprinting at Shawn Stevens and nailing him with his signature I’m Bad, So Bad (Sliding lariat)! Chopping his arm down across Steven’s throat, Christian Kane quickly goes for a cover over Stevens,

1...

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Kick out!

Eric Witz: Damn it! Close call for Christian Kane as he almost puts down the thief… err I mean “Sensational” Shawn Stevens.

Keith Oswalt: Sensational Shawn Stevens and the thief sound nothing alike, you do realize that, right?

Eric Witz: You do realize that I don’t give a fuck, right?

After the kick out, Christian Kane screams at the referee before finally turning back to Shawn Stevens and lifting him up to his feet. After this, Christian Kane lifts Shawn Stevens up from a suplex position and places him on the top rope. From here, Christian Kane now rapidly spins out, driving Stevens neck into the mat with a rope-assisted swinging neckbreaker! Grinning at his handiwork, Christian Kane taunts Shawn Stevens, who slowly pulls himself up to his feet. Finally standing up right, Christian Kane sprints towards him going for the STKO (Busaiku Knee Kick), but at the very last second, Shawn Stevens moves out of the way by running at the ropes. Jumping up onto the second rope, Shawn Stevens lionsault over Christian Kane’s head as he gets back up to his feet and from here, Stevens lands behind Christian Kane, pulling his head down before hitting a reverse DDT on Christian Kane.

After having hit this, Shawn Stevens again runs to the ropes where he now hits Christian Kane with The New Arsenal (Lionsault with pin),

1...

2...

Kick out!

Slamming the mat out of frustration, Shawn Stevens looks down at Christian Kane before getting back up to his feet. Kicking Kane in the stomach, Shawn Stevens lifts Christian Kane up and places his feet on the top turnbuckle. Now wrapping his arms around Kane’s head, Shawn Stevens shakes his head before dropping Christian Kane full force on his face with the 40k Diamond Fire (Tower of London)! Instantly after hitting this move, Shawn Stevens covers Christian Kane, however as he does this Dani Clarke hops up onto the apron, grabbing the ref’s attention.

Listening to the crowd chant to three, Shawn Stevens becomes infuriated with the ref’s lack of attention and finally gets up and turns to the ref. Pulling the ref from Dani Clarke, Shawn Stevens begins to yell at Clarke himself, however as he does this, Clarke pulls Stevens head in and french kisses Stevens! Shocked at the actions of Clarke, Stevens slowly turns around however as he does this, Christian Kane seems to have recovered and in his hands holds a railroad spike. Driving the spike into Stevens forehead, Christian Kane busts Stevens open as the referee calls for the bell. Despite the disqualification, Christian Kane continues to drive the spike into Shawn Stevens forehead before looking up and seeing his Renaissance partner Robbie Venom running down to the ring. Finally getting out of the ring, Christian Kane grins as he and DanI Clarke make out while heading to the back.

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, via disqualification, at 12 minutes and 24 seconds, “Sensational” Shawn Stevens!

Keith Oswalt: Disgusting antics by Christian Kane as he is in the depths of despair, being ready to be defeated by Stevens.

Eric Witz: Actually, it looked to me like he felt pity for Stevens and decided to give him the win. Christian could have easily hit the SuperSexyKick on Stevens, but instead opted to drive a spike into Stevens head.

Suddenly, "King of the World" plays to a huge ovation, as Christian Kane turns around, shocked as Josh Eagles walks out, a confident grin on his face.

Josh Eagles: Surprised to see me Chrsitian? After that crap you pulled at Death's Desire, you shouldn't be...but I'm not out here to ruin your night. I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news for you. While you may not deserve it after bashing in my longtime rivlas head, the good news is that you, Chrsitan Kane, will be facing me at Winter Warfare for the Valiant Championship, a decison made by Kurt Noble and Jeremy Sterling.

Keith Oswalt: WHAT?!?

Eric Witz: CK always gets what he wants, bitches!

CK smiles, but Eagles isn't finished.

Josh Eagles: However, to get that shot, you're going to have to agree to this condition. Until Winter Warfare on December 19th, I will be handpicking your opponents every week...and you'll be handpicking mine!

The crowd cheers as CK's face goes blank, the tables being turned!.

Josh Eagles: And next week, your opponent is...ME!

Keith Oswalt: Christian Kane vs. Josh Eagles already? Hell yes!

Eric Witz: And the catch is...

Josh Eagles: But, I won't make you go at it alone. It'll be a tag team match-up, and my partner will be Syndicate Champion Kid Flanagan! What about yours?

Christian Kane: Goddamit....mine will be...uh...Obscene! Yeah, Obscene!

Christian Kane seems very nervous about picking that name, but Eagles shrugs.

Josh Eagles: So be it. The Champions vs. The Pride Originals. Oh, and Christian..if you bail on any of these matches, your shot is revoked!

The crowd cheers, as Eagles smiles.

Keith Oswalt: Looks like next week, the Main Event will be Josh Eagles and Kid Flanagan against Obscene and Christian Kane!

Eric Witz: This isn't what Obscene needs right now! He's got a lot on his mind, dammit!

Eagles leaves, as Robbie helps up Stevens. The scene fades to black.

[Kirk Noble]

Oblivion comes back from a commercial break with a close up shot on the commentary table.

Keith Oswalt: Welcome back to Kingdom of Pride! The last week has been a busy one for our owners as they have been in the middle of a legal battle with the famous actor The Legend-

Eric Witz: I hope Legend takes Jeremy and Kurt for all they got!

Keith turns to his announcing partner in shock.

Keith Oswalt: Then both you and me would be out of a job!

Eric Witz: I'm sure The Legend would hire me on as a personal assistant or something! He is a real giver I hear!

Keith Oswalt: He is a real something. I'll give you that! This week, Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood sat down with The Legend to discuss what happened last week at Death's Desire!

Eric Witz: It was a travesty!

Keith Oswalt: Roll the clip.

The shot fades into a shot of The Legend sitting in a director's chair with movie posteThe Legend: Last weekend, my agent Colin Greene called me up and said that Kingdom of Pride was offering me $20,000 to come out to their little event and promote my new film "The Chosen One"rs of himself hanging behind him. Maria Menounos is seated directly across from him in a another director's chair.

Maria Menounos: So Legend, can you tell me exactly what happened last weekend?

The Legend: Well, last weekend my agent was contacted by Kingdom of Pride with an opportunity. The deal that was reached was simply this, I would so up to that Podunk town to their little event to promote my new movie "The Chosen One."

Maria Menounos: Which comes out Friday right?

The Legend flashes his million dollar smile.

The Legend: That's right baby. Its going to be a good one. But anyway, I was supposed to appear live and get paid $20,000. Have a little face time with my fans and a quick little interview. Simple right? But then some idiot had to come over and lay his hands on me.

Maria Menounos: He actually shoved you to the ground right?

The Legend: Well, lets be honest here...He wouldn't have been able to touch me if I was actually paying attention. I was a little distracted at the time.

Maria Menounos: Distracted? By what exactly?

The Legend: The nice pair of C cups in the next seat. That girl was fine...but not as fine as you Maria.

The Legend winks at Maria which makes her giggle a little as her cheeks get flushed with embarrassment.

The Legend: But you and I got all night to discuss that, let me finish my story. Anyway, this punk shoves me down while I wasn't paying attention and I am currently have my legal team looking into suing the owners of Kingdom of Pride. I was not expecting to get physical that night. I am a living breathing weapon of mass destruction! If I wanted, I could have leveled their entire locker room. They are just lucky I walked out like I did.

Maria Menounos: So, you are planning to sue?

The Legend: I am exploring my options on the matter, that is all I need to say about that now. Now that the business side is done...

The Legend stands up and walks over to Maria and takes her hand gently.

The Legend: Do you want to find out why they call me The Legend for yourself sweetheart?

Maria Menounos: This is Maria Menounos signing off!

The interview fades to black and the shot changes back to the two-shot of the announcers.

Eric Witz: Man, The Legend is so smooth. You know he totally got laid right?

Keith Oswalt: Is that all your care about? We could lose our jobs!

Eric Witz: No, that isn't all I care about! I care about Legend passing me his left over scraps! Come on man, hook me up!

[Kirk Noble]

Before the music starts, the voice of Johnny Noble echoes throughout the arena:

The Kingdom of Pride has hundreds of stories to tell. This one makes the definitive impact...

The instrumental version of “Cells” plays throughout the arena. The fans waste no time giving an overall appropriate reaction to Johnny Noble just as he slowly walks through the curtain and down the ramp. He gives the occasional group of fans a calm glance, but he does not lose focus as he walks to the ring and climbs the stairs. Johnny flashes a few more fans a calm glance as he steps into the ring and stands near the ropes, putting his hands on his hips and looking around the ring with intensity.

Ike Rose: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 230 pounds, Johnny Noble!

Suddenly, “Just Like You” by Three Days Grace begins to play as Kid Flanagan walks out onto the stage to a chorus of cheers. However, just as he begins to walk to the ring, the lights in the arena all go out! Once they come back on, Kid Flanagan can be seen laid out in the ring, a dented chair on the floor outside of the ring. Unsure of what to do, Ike Rose introduces Kid Flanagan.

Ike Rose: And uh, his opponent, the Kingdom of Pride Syndicate champion, Kid Flanagan.

Keith Oswalt: This is hardly fair! Flanagan’s in no shape to compete with Noble! He was viciously attacked!

Eric Witz: Like he would stand a chance anyways

As the bell rings, Johnny Noble shakes his head, disappointed that he won’t be getting a challenge. However, despite this, Noble lifts Flanagan up before destroying him with This Shit Hurts (Spinning Spike Piledriver)! Instantly following this, Noble covers,

1...

2...

3!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, at 12 seconds, via pinfall, Johnny Noble!

Keith Oswalt: What a crock of shit. Flanagan was screwed!

Eric Witz: Nah, I think Johnny Noble just dominated the match, quite handily.

Keith Oswalt: You know that in a fair match Noble wouldn’t have been able to dominate like that.

Suddenly, Obscene runs through the curtains, a microphone in hand.

Obscene: Wait a fucking minute!

He points at Noble, who simple stares at him.

Obscene: No, no, NO! Goddamit NO! I know what each and every one of you are thinking. "Oh, Obscene attacked Kid Flanagan last month, so he's doing it again.Oh, he's mad about losing at Death's Desire!" If any of you raise a damn finger at me, you're insane. I'm dealing with more than any man on the roster, and the LAST thing I need is for piece of shit Kid Flanagan to be on my back again! I DIDN'T do this!

The crowd boos Obscene, who seems utterly pissed off.

Obscene: SHUT UP!

Keith Oswalt: The evidence is overwhelmingly against Obscene here. Not only did he attack Kid Flanagn for a month straight in this same fashion, but he's openly stated his hatred for Kid Flanagan! How could it not be him?

Eric Witz: Innoncent until proven guilty!

Keith Oswalt: Regardless, we need to cut off the air. This has been one violent night ladies and gentlemen, and it's sure to get even worse next week. We'll see you next week!

Obscene: All of you wait...next week, I'll prove that I didn't do it. You'll see...I'm changing. I'll show you who the real scumbag is...

The scene fades to black, ending Oblivion...