Official Criticize Esix Cordero Topic

[Esix Cordero]

www.pridewrestling22.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=oblivionroleplays&action=display&thread=1576

There is my debut RP, and honestly I think I could have done better. Unfortunately, I didn't notice the 1 RP limit until after I wrote it. Oh well. Gouge away.

[masamune3570]

Pretty good shit for an intro RP, mate. Feel like it coulda used more match relevance, but that's mainly just a style preference these days. Did a good job on establishing background.

[Esix Cordero]

I agree, there is very little match relevance. I was hoping to do a follow up interview RP. Plus debut RP's are tough to do since there's usually little to no history with the other wrestlers.

[Trav McBang!]

been busy, i'll hitcha with a review later tonight, Erik

[Esix Cordero]

Busy getting hammered.

[Trav McBang!]

Not since Friday, sadly

[Esix Cordero]

Let it be known that Trav Montgomery is a liar and a drunk.

[Trav McBang!]

Or swamped with work >_>

[Esix Cordero]

Dec 5, 2010 22:28:07 GMT -5 Trav McBang! said:

been busy, i'll hitcha with a review later tonight, Erik

You have the gall to lie to me then smiley face about it?

I DON'T PLAY LIKE THAT SON

[Esix Cordero]

www.pridewrestling22.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=oblivionroleplays&thread=1640

John Parker is a Dead Man. And Trav owes me two reviews as punishment for lying.

[Trav McBang!]

Only if you review my Anthropology paper

[Esix Cordero]

I will!

[Better Than Johnny Noble]

I don't normally review my opponent's rp before the match has happened. And for you I make no exception.




>_>

I kid. I really quite liked it. It was a fun read. And that's probably the best you'll ever get from me

[Trav McBang!]

So, I read the RP vs JDP...your voice for the characters is really a strong point. It seems like a natural flow of conversation between Esix and Skeet.

Some people dislike RPs that heavily rely on dialogue, as they need a bit of action sentences to complete the experience. Me...I like the rapid fire dialogue. Good RP.

[Esix Cordero]

Thanks Travvy.

[Esix Cordero]

Why don't you do right? Like some other men do...

Fallout New Vegas was on my mind throughout that RP. >_>

Thoughts?

[Jack Benevolence]

I won't lie, I didn't read it, but I did skim over it as I was looking through the last 15 posts.

Honestly, I am very against the center alignment of text. It makes it really a pain to read (in my opinion). My critique would be to stick with left alignment.

[Esix Cordero]

If Jack Benevolence thinks I should left align, then left align I will!

[Esix Cordero]

www.pridewrestling22.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=oblivionroleplays&action=display&thread=1897

Sorry about the length, guys. I wanted to take the opportunity to provide some character direction for Esix Cordero as well as Skeeter Butts. Expect a follow up Character Development RP soon. As for now, I would really like some thoughts on this. Please please please!

[Esix Cordero]

What do you jerks think if you even CARE

*sobs*

[Eddie Nash]

Certainly one of your more stand-out pieces and a valiant effort if I've ever seen one. What do I think? I think we should do a segment for the show. I'll PM you later with info.

[Esix Cordero]

hell yeah

[Dru Tha Merc]

Speaking as you opponent, going into this match, I already figured it wouldn't be easy. Reading your promo... It was solid. Good, solid, said what you needed to convey, had the right sense of story to add to your character's day-to-day life. I think my only issue inside the whole promo, and this is being really nit-picky, is the 'equally sinister' grin on Moana's face.

It's like. Yes, we understand she may be trying to mirror Esix, or trying to show she is with him through fire and flame, but I dunno. Something seems wrong here, like, women don't grin when they seem particularly evil. They smirk. Esix is the kind of guy who doesn't seem to smirk much, he just wears your usual '****-eating' grin, and to provide a nice foil maybe, she should smirk?

Just a thought boss. Keep up the killer writing.

[Esix Cordero]

Thanks Dru. I didn't notice this before I wrote this latest RP, but it's something I'll keep in mind as I develop the characters more. It's little things like that which really define a character. I appreciate you bringing that up, rather than just saying its good.

Anyways, I'm looking for more criticisms on this latest one. Don't even say it's good, because I know it can be better.

["The Divine Chaos" Galen Ronan]

Jan 29, 2011 6:55:33 GMT -5 @theoriginalbadguy said:

Jan 29, 2011 4:44:32 GMT -5 Esix Cordero said:

EVERYBODY knows that CK IS a garbage champion.

EDIT: And to get on topic; this RP was a good'un. I like the webcam idea, and it's execution was nice. Could go for a little more detail, but again, that's just me.