Post by Dusty on Jan 15, 2011 23:50:42 GMT -5
*Scene opens with a shockingly white Dustin Douglas getting out of his Cadillac truck in the arena parking lot. He is sporting his mullet and cowboy hat, eyes hidden by sunglasses and chewing on a clear plastic straw. He grabs his gym bag and is talking on the phone as he fist bumps a guard on the way in.*
Dusty: (On the phone) Yea, its the weirdest thing. I mean, I woke up one day this week...and felt different. I cannot explain it, but all I can say is, I woke up after the Pride cup......and I knew something was off. I was terrible at basketball and my high school GPA rose two points.
Yes.....yes I know that was a racist remark.
*Dusty hangs up the phone and walks to his locker room. And , like any good hero, he talks to the camera, doing a kind of soliloquy. (Thats a literary device where a guy speaks all by himself, but not directly to the audience. Thats right...the more you know.)*
So....here I am again. Starting out....at the bottom. Haven't we seen this before? Dustin Douglas...fighting hos way from the bottom of the barrel. In the.....opening match. Not even like the mid card. Not even the featured bout.....no, I am in the low card with two guys who got squeezed in at the last moment.
Granted....it is pretty cool that Kurtis and Jerome decided to add me at the last minute. And its not like these two guys pose any real threat to me. I mean, honestly, did you read their Rps....err.....did you see thier promos. Yea...promos. Because there is no way we are simply a text based internet role playing game. Nah....we are real wrestliers.
*A hot dog vendor walks by, hearing Dusty. He seems confused and walks off muttering about how these wrestlers are gettign crazier and crazier.*
Dusty: I'm not crazy.
*LET ME FINISH! As I was saying, the hot dog vendor walks off muttering, and Dusty continues his aside.*
Dusty: Its a soliloquy.
*Does it matter?*
Dusty: Yes, it does.
*Why?*
Dusty: Thats it, you are fired. Now, ladies and gentlemen.....my new narrator....Morgan Freeman.
Dusty: That was awesome. Granted that 33 seconds cost me like, 2 million dollars. So now, not only do I have to wrestle the opening match, I now have to win. Yep. Win and win big.
*Dusty looks around*
Dusty: Now if only I could figure out exactly who I am facing off with. See, this is what happens when you open a wrestling event with two no names. I'll be surprised if I even get a dressing room.
Who am I kidding? Of course i get a dressing room. I'm Double D. Sure, I may be opeing the card up....this week. But, after my inevitable win, after I wipe the floor.....crap, canvas. After I wipe the canvas with those, other guys.
*You really should learn their names*
Dusty: Didn't I fire you?
*Yea....but Mr. Freeman wasn't around to narrate the rest of your scene.*
Dusty: Fair enough. But really, I have got to get ready....AND I had a big burrito for lunch, so...I think I'm going to end this segment, drop a deuce, and flush it down.....much like I will flush my opponents in my triple threat match...like little peices of crap.
*Very Nice*
Dusty: Thank you.
*Good use of metaphor.*
Dusty: It was a simile......moron.
*Scene ends with Dusty walking into a locker room, slamming the door behind him, leaving this poor narrator alone, and insulted. I hope he loses. He thinks being funny will get him over, but I doubt it.*
Dusty: (From behind the door) I can still hear you!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND scene.*
Dusty: (On the phone) Yea, its the weirdest thing. I mean, I woke up one day this week...and felt different. I cannot explain it, but all I can say is, I woke up after the Pride cup......and I knew something was off. I was terrible at basketball and my high school GPA rose two points.
Yes.....yes I know that was a racist remark.
*Dusty hangs up the phone and walks to his locker room. And , like any good hero, he talks to the camera, doing a kind of soliloquy. (Thats a literary device where a guy speaks all by himself, but not directly to the audience. Thats right...the more you know.)*
So....here I am again. Starting out....at the bottom. Haven't we seen this before? Dustin Douglas...fighting hos way from the bottom of the barrel. In the.....opening match. Not even like the mid card. Not even the featured bout.....no, I am in the low card with two guys who got squeezed in at the last moment.
Granted....it is pretty cool that Kurtis and Jerome decided to add me at the last minute. And its not like these two guys pose any real threat to me. I mean, honestly, did you read their Rps....err.....did you see thier promos. Yea...promos. Because there is no way we are simply a text based internet role playing game. Nah....we are real wrestliers.
*A hot dog vendor walks by, hearing Dusty. He seems confused and walks off muttering about how these wrestlers are gettign crazier and crazier.*
Dusty: I'm not crazy.
*LET ME FINISH! As I was saying, the hot dog vendor walks off muttering, and Dusty continues his aside.*
Dusty: Its a soliloquy.
*Does it matter?*
Dusty: Yes, it does.
*Why?*
Dusty: Thats it, you are fired. Now, ladies and gentlemen.....my new narrator....Morgan Freeman.
Dusty: That was awesome. Granted that 33 seconds cost me like, 2 million dollars. So now, not only do I have to wrestle the opening match, I now have to win. Yep. Win and win big.
*Dusty looks around*
Dusty: Now if only I could figure out exactly who I am facing off with. See, this is what happens when you open a wrestling event with two no names. I'll be surprised if I even get a dressing room.
Who am I kidding? Of course i get a dressing room. I'm Double D. Sure, I may be opeing the card up....this week. But, after my inevitable win, after I wipe the floor.....crap, canvas. After I wipe the canvas with those, other guys.
*You really should learn their names*
Dusty: Didn't I fire you?
*Yea....but Mr. Freeman wasn't around to narrate the rest of your scene.*
Dusty: Fair enough. But really, I have got to get ready....AND I had a big burrito for lunch, so...I think I'm going to end this segment, drop a deuce, and flush it down.....much like I will flush my opponents in my triple threat match...like little peices of crap.
*Very Nice*
Dusty: Thank you.
*Good use of metaphor.*
Dusty: It was a simile......moron.
*Scene ends with Dusty walking into a locker room, slamming the door behind him, leaving this poor narrator alone, and insulted. I hope he loses. He thinks being funny will get him over, but I doubt it.*
Dusty: (From behind the door) I can still hear you!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND scene.*
