Post by Josh Eagles on Jan 22, 2011 18:06:49 GMT -5
"You can't get away from your fate Eagles and you can't get away from me. Everywhere you go I will know because I know you and I know what you want."
The only noise I focused on was the acceleration in my engine as I slammed the pedal to the floor and sped down the freeway in front of me. I glanced to the side and their sat Tala just staring in front of him, or at least if I could see where he was looking I'd assume that is where he'd be looking. I had grown used to seeing him appear next to me, behind me, everywhere I didn't want to. He was becoming a cancer, a plague almost and I wasn't sure what the hell was going on with me. I knew that listening to him was making me better, it was advancing what I wanted. But right now what I wanted and what Tala wanted were not in line, for once I wanted to make a point that Tala didn't agree with.
"You know I just don't get you. You pop up and haunt me where ever I am you never leave me alone and you preach day and night that I need to make examples of people but you don't want me to make an example of Esix Cordero now?"
I had heard what Cordero had to say, I had heard what he thought of me and thought of wrestling as a whole in my opinion. This guy looked down at the business and company that currently put food on his table and he spit on it. I didn't care if he spit on me but it made my blood boil that he looked down on the fans and spewed shit he knew nothing about. He wasn't a man to be looked up to, he wasn't a man who deserved the stuff he got. The man betrayed his family and their memory and he looked down on what made him ends meat.
"Normally you'd be right. Normally I'd tell you to destroy Cordero but you're not doing it for the right reasons, your doing it for personal reasons."
That was my final straw I slammed on the breaks and wished Tala would fly through the window but it didn't happen. He sat there calmly and I turned to him.
"Not everything is done your way. I was doing this a long time before you became about and not everything is about sending a message. I don't need to send a message to Christian Kane or to Tic Tic, they've both seen that I mean business, they have both seen that I am going to do whatever it takes. What I do need to do is send a message to this locker room and to the fans that I won't stand for the Kingdom of PRIDE being treated like it's less then what it is."
"And what will that accomplish? Will it give you a feeling of self rightousness, will it make you feel better about who you are?"
His gruff voice was full of accusation and resentment.
"I don't know what it will do Tala, it just feels right. It just feels like my message has been lost as of late and I need to get that back to. You told me I needed to get my passion and this is my passion, wrestling is my passion and it's my life. Do you think I'm scared off by the tough words of a little punk like Cordero?"
"No but if you are going to let your emotions get the best of you then his fists will scare you. Cordero is focused and he is looking to destroy you."
"What else is new? How many people in the last couple of weeks have said they are going to destroy me? That they want me in the ring? How many times over my career? The point of being on top is that everyone wants to kick the crap out of you everyone wants to make an example of you. Do you think that is something I am not used to? I don't care if Cordero wants to beat me into the next week all that is talk is just that, talk! Cordero thinks he is a big shot now and that beating me proves that he can beat Kid Flanagan! That's great let him try cause he is nothing but talk, he is nothing but a a roid'd out freak who thinks he is better then what he is."
That was it, my anger boiled over, Tala disappeared and I whited out. It would be days before I remembered what happened next.
In a couple hours I would step into the ring with Esix Cordero but first I was going to speak my mind and let him know just what I thought of him. I sat in the prearranged area waiting for Alex Avice the same man who had been present when Cordero picked his choice words, mine wouldn't be so choice.
"You're early today Josh, normally you show up fashionably late."
Around the corner came Alex Avice, his professional look and for today it seemed like he had a smug smile. I was trying to push down anger but it kept boiling back up over everything I kept hearing.
"Well today I am feeling extra passionate about something Alex, I am feeling a little bit agitated."
"What's got your motors turning then?"
I BURST! That was my final straw, all the frustrations that I've been feeling came to the surface and I snapped, my hand went to the chair beside me and it threw it across the room I was right in the face of Alex Avice and he cowered, he cowered like nobody had in a long time.
"What got my motor turning? I'll tell you what's got my fucking motor turning Alex. These ignorant people who just prance around backstage and say whatever it is they want to say, that just think they know everything. Cordero thinks I am a loser and that he is going to expose me? His ass was beat last week when I came out, his ass was about to LOSE to Christian Kane which is a freaking sad feat all on it's own! He thinks that I put myself up as some kind of hero because I choose to fight for something I believe in? How fucking pathetic is this guy? I am beatable sure I've been beaten plenty in my career, nobody immortalizes me and puts me on a pedestal for what I've done. Do you know what Cordero's issue is? He is jealous!
He isn't jealous of me or my talents or anything like that he is jealous that I'll be something that he never will be ... someone who matters! The guy rages about his father, spits on his memory because he could never live up to being the man his father wanted him to be so he hates the world and I am supposed to be the miserable person. I love my life and I love my job and this anger is because I am passionate about what I do, I am passionate about who I am. You want to know who enables me Alex? People like Cordero who don't deserve the roof over their head or the job that they have. People like Esix Cordero are sad jokes, they walk around empty shells of what people should look like.
The you want to know what pisses me off more, he thinks I believe I have some special right around here. I look at people like Kane and Obscene and idiots like that who do whatever they want but if I walk out and STAND ON A STAGE then I am a big bad guy. It's not my freaking issue that Kane's ego is so big that he couldn't focus on his own damn match and I didn't see Esix have any problem taking advantage of that. He says I'm a hypocrite but he bitches about me interfering and then uses it to win anyway. I know that I am in it for myself, everyone is does what they do for themselves in some way. Do you think I leave my body on the line, get my ass beat up weak in and weak out for no good reason? No I get a pay check, I get fame, and I get respect, but I also get to feel a sense of accomplishment because I am doing something that makes people SMILE!
What does a guy like Cordero get from it? He is too arrogant and too self center to help one pour guy who has been running around trying to learn from the bastard. Someone actually respects what that guy can do and he throws it away and tries to be some big tough guy. The only reason he wants this match is for some unresolved Daddy issues and I'm fine with that, I'm fine if he wants to see me as his father and try and beat out some aggression, but don't step up and spit on my company, don't step up and assume you know me and be ready to back up the talk you talk."
I took a deep breathe and came to, I stepped back from the wall I had Alex nearly pushed up against and I took a deep breathe.
"Feel better?"
"Much better actually, I needed to get that off my chest."
Alex backs away from the wall and looks relieved.
"So I take it you really don't like Esix Cordero either?"
"I don't hate a lot of people in this world, but I have no pity for Esix. He spouts to the world that I am a loser and that I've betrayed my family and I wasn't there for them. I left my wife cause she wasn't for me and my son died in an accident and I have no idea still the truth of what went down with the whole Benevolance saga. All of these things are out of my control, but I heard what Esix did at his fathers funeral. His father was a respected man in wrestling, he had problems and it saddened people everywhere when he died in the ring ... but to disrespect him the way he had was pathetic. Now he says I remind him of that father, prideful. There is nothing wrong with having pride as long as you know when to put it aside and I have on multiple occasions."
"But you never stop fighting for what you believe in."
"That's my point exactly. I do well, I win because I have something I believe in, I have something to fight for! Esix Cordero isn't going to be able to use me to resolve his childhood issues and he isn't going to use me to prove a point to himself or Kid Flanagan. Apparently the kid has wanted me for a long time and now he is going to have the chance to wrestle me, he is going to get the chance to try and knock me out or make me tap. I invite him to step into the ring and try like everyone else these past few weeks who thought they could and failed."
I up righted the chair I had been sitting on and sat down my anger starting to subside.
"Isn't this one of the pride things he touched on, that your pride makes you believe you are unbeatable?"
"No. I am not unbeatable, I don't have the title do I? I didn't win the Pride Cup did I? I can lose, I can be beat ... it doesn't happen very often because I know myself, I don't look past my opponents and I fight with everything I have when I step into the ring. Does Esix have more fight in him then our so called champion? Does Esix have more talent then anyone else I've fought? I don't know if he does and I don't care if he does because when push comes to shove I don't go down, I don't stop. Maybe I will be like his father, maybe I will die in the ring because that's what it takes to stop me. Cordero believe he knows me and that he can beat me and that makes it all the more fun."
"You think this is fun?"
"Yes of course. I mean is it awesome hurting people and getting your face beat in? No it's not, but fighting for the fans feeling the rush of competition and feeling alive like this is fun! I believe in what I do and that's what makes me lethal in that ring. I am a better man, a more honest man, and a more driven man then what Cordero could ever imagine. That's why when the dust settles tonight it's not going to matter what's happened with our family past, who has more hurt, or who can sling around better insults. None of that will matter because Cordero will be the one exposed, will be the one on his back, and be the one beaten. I am not losing tonight, I am not going down like this. If I have too much Pride then I will use that pride to keep me from losing, I'll use that pride to win. I'll use it as a weapon because that is what this company is ... it's the Kingdom of PRIDE and I'm it's damn prince."
I stormed away the anger getting higher once again, anger I intended to use to my advantage in the battle I was about to step into, but on my way I could have sworn I heard something.
"That's the spirit. Know that you are going to win, know that you can't be beat and destroy Cordero continue to walk down the path of no return. You shall flash the sword of vengance and the lord shall use you as his weapon."
The gruff voice was one I couldn't mistake and I whipped around but Tala was gone. I maybe losing my mind, I maybe coming to the end of my time but at the end of the day it wouldn't matter. I was going mad, I was slipping but I wasn't there yet and Cordero was going to find that out first hand. I would be ready for what he brought and I'd be smart enough to be ready for whatever CK had in store for me as well.
The only noise I focused on was the acceleration in my engine as I slammed the pedal to the floor and sped down the freeway in front of me. I glanced to the side and their sat Tala just staring in front of him, or at least if I could see where he was looking I'd assume that is where he'd be looking. I had grown used to seeing him appear next to me, behind me, everywhere I didn't want to. He was becoming a cancer, a plague almost and I wasn't sure what the hell was going on with me. I knew that listening to him was making me better, it was advancing what I wanted. But right now what I wanted and what Tala wanted were not in line, for once I wanted to make a point that Tala didn't agree with.
"You know I just don't get you. You pop up and haunt me where ever I am you never leave me alone and you preach day and night that I need to make examples of people but you don't want me to make an example of Esix Cordero now?"
I had heard what Cordero had to say, I had heard what he thought of me and thought of wrestling as a whole in my opinion. This guy looked down at the business and company that currently put food on his table and he spit on it. I didn't care if he spit on me but it made my blood boil that he looked down on the fans and spewed shit he knew nothing about. He wasn't a man to be looked up to, he wasn't a man who deserved the stuff he got. The man betrayed his family and their memory and he looked down on what made him ends meat.
"Normally you'd be right. Normally I'd tell you to destroy Cordero but you're not doing it for the right reasons, your doing it for personal reasons."
That was my final straw I slammed on the breaks and wished Tala would fly through the window but it didn't happen. He sat there calmly and I turned to him.
"Not everything is done your way. I was doing this a long time before you became about and not everything is about sending a message. I don't need to send a message to Christian Kane or to Tic Tic, they've both seen that I mean business, they have both seen that I am going to do whatever it takes. What I do need to do is send a message to this locker room and to the fans that I won't stand for the Kingdom of PRIDE being treated like it's less then what it is."
"And what will that accomplish? Will it give you a feeling of self rightousness, will it make you feel better about who you are?"
His gruff voice was full of accusation and resentment.
"I don't know what it will do Tala, it just feels right. It just feels like my message has been lost as of late and I need to get that back to. You told me I needed to get my passion and this is my passion, wrestling is my passion and it's my life. Do you think I'm scared off by the tough words of a little punk like Cordero?"
"No but if you are going to let your emotions get the best of you then his fists will scare you. Cordero is focused and he is looking to destroy you."
"What else is new? How many people in the last couple of weeks have said they are going to destroy me? That they want me in the ring? How many times over my career? The point of being on top is that everyone wants to kick the crap out of you everyone wants to make an example of you. Do you think that is something I am not used to? I don't care if Cordero wants to beat me into the next week all that is talk is just that, talk! Cordero thinks he is a big shot now and that beating me proves that he can beat Kid Flanagan! That's great let him try cause he is nothing but talk, he is nothing but a a roid'd out freak who thinks he is better then what he is."
That was it, my anger boiled over, Tala disappeared and I whited out. It would be days before I remembered what happened next.
Hours later at the arena.
In a couple hours I would step into the ring with Esix Cordero but first I was going to speak my mind and let him know just what I thought of him. I sat in the prearranged area waiting for Alex Avice the same man who had been present when Cordero picked his choice words, mine wouldn't be so choice.
"You're early today Josh, normally you show up fashionably late."
Around the corner came Alex Avice, his professional look and for today it seemed like he had a smug smile. I was trying to push down anger but it kept boiling back up over everything I kept hearing.
"Well today I am feeling extra passionate about something Alex, I am feeling a little bit agitated."
"What's got your motors turning then?"
I BURST! That was my final straw, all the frustrations that I've been feeling came to the surface and I snapped, my hand went to the chair beside me and it threw it across the room I was right in the face of Alex Avice and he cowered, he cowered like nobody had in a long time.
"What got my motor turning? I'll tell you what's got my fucking motor turning Alex. These ignorant people who just prance around backstage and say whatever it is they want to say, that just think they know everything. Cordero thinks I am a loser and that he is going to expose me? His ass was beat last week when I came out, his ass was about to LOSE to Christian Kane which is a freaking sad feat all on it's own! He thinks that I put myself up as some kind of hero because I choose to fight for something I believe in? How fucking pathetic is this guy? I am beatable sure I've been beaten plenty in my career, nobody immortalizes me and puts me on a pedestal for what I've done. Do you know what Cordero's issue is? He is jealous!
He isn't jealous of me or my talents or anything like that he is jealous that I'll be something that he never will be ... someone who matters! The guy rages about his father, spits on his memory because he could never live up to being the man his father wanted him to be so he hates the world and I am supposed to be the miserable person. I love my life and I love my job and this anger is because I am passionate about what I do, I am passionate about who I am. You want to know who enables me Alex? People like Cordero who don't deserve the roof over their head or the job that they have. People like Esix Cordero are sad jokes, they walk around empty shells of what people should look like.
The you want to know what pisses me off more, he thinks I believe I have some special right around here. I look at people like Kane and Obscene and idiots like that who do whatever they want but if I walk out and STAND ON A STAGE then I am a big bad guy. It's not my freaking issue that Kane's ego is so big that he couldn't focus on his own damn match and I didn't see Esix have any problem taking advantage of that. He says I'm a hypocrite but he bitches about me interfering and then uses it to win anyway. I know that I am in it for myself, everyone is does what they do for themselves in some way. Do you think I leave my body on the line, get my ass beat up weak in and weak out for no good reason? No I get a pay check, I get fame, and I get respect, but I also get to feel a sense of accomplishment because I am doing something that makes people SMILE!
What does a guy like Cordero get from it? He is too arrogant and too self center to help one pour guy who has been running around trying to learn from the bastard. Someone actually respects what that guy can do and he throws it away and tries to be some big tough guy. The only reason he wants this match is for some unresolved Daddy issues and I'm fine with that, I'm fine if he wants to see me as his father and try and beat out some aggression, but don't step up and spit on my company, don't step up and assume you know me and be ready to back up the talk you talk."
I took a deep breathe and came to, I stepped back from the wall I had Alex nearly pushed up against and I took a deep breathe.
"Feel better?"
"Much better actually, I needed to get that off my chest."
Alex backs away from the wall and looks relieved.
"So I take it you really don't like Esix Cordero either?"
"I don't hate a lot of people in this world, but I have no pity for Esix. He spouts to the world that I am a loser and that I've betrayed my family and I wasn't there for them. I left my wife cause she wasn't for me and my son died in an accident and I have no idea still the truth of what went down with the whole Benevolance saga. All of these things are out of my control, but I heard what Esix did at his fathers funeral. His father was a respected man in wrestling, he had problems and it saddened people everywhere when he died in the ring ... but to disrespect him the way he had was pathetic. Now he says I remind him of that father, prideful. There is nothing wrong with having pride as long as you know when to put it aside and I have on multiple occasions."
"But you never stop fighting for what you believe in."
"That's my point exactly. I do well, I win because I have something I believe in, I have something to fight for! Esix Cordero isn't going to be able to use me to resolve his childhood issues and he isn't going to use me to prove a point to himself or Kid Flanagan. Apparently the kid has wanted me for a long time and now he is going to have the chance to wrestle me, he is going to get the chance to try and knock me out or make me tap. I invite him to step into the ring and try like everyone else these past few weeks who thought they could and failed."
I up righted the chair I had been sitting on and sat down my anger starting to subside.
"Isn't this one of the pride things he touched on, that your pride makes you believe you are unbeatable?"
"No. I am not unbeatable, I don't have the title do I? I didn't win the Pride Cup did I? I can lose, I can be beat ... it doesn't happen very often because I know myself, I don't look past my opponents and I fight with everything I have when I step into the ring. Does Esix have more fight in him then our so called champion? Does Esix have more talent then anyone else I've fought? I don't know if he does and I don't care if he does because when push comes to shove I don't go down, I don't stop. Maybe I will be like his father, maybe I will die in the ring because that's what it takes to stop me. Cordero believe he knows me and that he can beat me and that makes it all the more fun."
"You think this is fun?"
"Yes of course. I mean is it awesome hurting people and getting your face beat in? No it's not, but fighting for the fans feeling the rush of competition and feeling alive like this is fun! I believe in what I do and that's what makes me lethal in that ring. I am a better man, a more honest man, and a more driven man then what Cordero could ever imagine. That's why when the dust settles tonight it's not going to matter what's happened with our family past, who has more hurt, or who can sling around better insults. None of that will matter because Cordero will be the one exposed, will be the one on his back, and be the one beaten. I am not losing tonight, I am not going down like this. If I have too much Pride then I will use that pride to keep me from losing, I'll use that pride to win. I'll use it as a weapon because that is what this company is ... it's the Kingdom of PRIDE and I'm it's damn prince."
I stormed away the anger getting higher once again, anger I intended to use to my advantage in the battle I was about to step into, but on my way I could have sworn I heard something.
"That's the spirit. Know that you are going to win, know that you can't be beat and destroy Cordero continue to walk down the path of no return. You shall flash the sword of vengance and the lord shall use you as his weapon."
The gruff voice was one I couldn't mistake and I whipped around but Tala was gone. I maybe losing my mind, I maybe coming to the end of my time but at the end of the day it wouldn't matter. I was going mad, I was slipping but I wasn't there yet and Cordero was going to find that out first hand. I would be ready for what he brought and I'd be smart enough to be ready for whatever CK had in store for me as well.
