Post by nathanneale on Jul 16, 2010 6:58:29 GMT -5
The camera opens outside a locker room door; standing in front of the door (and blocking the name on the door from view) is Alex Avice.
"It's been over a year, but it appears that in the end, nobody can keep this Kingdom down! For the first time in over twelve months, Kingdom of Pride fans, it's me, Alex Avice, "The Mouth of Pride", reporting...er... taped, from outside the locker room of Nathan Neale."
If this aired during the show, fans would boo heavily right now.
"I'm so excited for this - I've seen all six episodes of the Neale World dozens of times. My favorite one is the one where--"
The door behind him opens, and Nathan Neale walks out. His Reality Revolution logo can be seen on literally every item of clothing he's wearing - a custom-designed pair of shuttle shades, the (only obviously-emblazoned) sleeveless Nathan Neale "Reality Revolution" shirt (in merchandise stands now!), his baggy jean-tights - the only thing not covered in the red, stylized Rs are Nathan's boots, but even they can't escape the words themselves - as "REALITY" and "REVOLUTION" are stitched up the boots in white.
Nathan condescendingly wraps an arm around Alex's shoulders, though Alex is excited that the reality star seems to be so chummy with him. This entire blue portion takes place in about ten seconds, by thr way.
"Would it be the new season premiere, coming up in two weeks?"
"You're already shooting a new season?"
"Of course. Don't you know taped television? I tape a set of episodes, send them off, and then start taping later episodes in the season while they're running. I should've done that back in PWF. On top of that, you need to remember that the Neale World? It's not scripted. Everything you see is real, even the stuff that doesn't make any sense; and you know why that is, Alan?"
"It's Alex... and why?"
"Because the REAL world doesn't make sense. You might see something on my show and think 'Oh, that's not true, that could never happen' - and then we start getting reports that Mel Gibson punched his baby daughter? Stuff's ridiculous."
"Well, if anyone knows about females and violence, it's gotta be your opponent on Sunday, Christian Kane. Word backstage is that people are expecting Kane to take the win easily."
"I expected as much. Cris is a KOP original. He was one of the first ever Scramble Champions, and... damn, my generic information's all gone. Poof.
As far as I see it, yeah, it's Christian Kane, acclaimed Canadian - heh, for all that's worth - wrestler, multiple time champion in promotions up and down North America. The thing is, though? I'm Nathan Neale. I destroyed Paul Sant on the final Ignition... you remember Paul Sant, right? The only Triple Crown winner in PWF history? He went from taking a loss to me in the opener of the last TV show to becoming their final World Champion on the last pay-per-view, a week later? Screw the Dusty Rub, the Neale Rub works in a fraction of the time!"
"Well, on the subject of time, will you be looking to put Christian away as quickly as possible to try and get the reward for winning the Beat The Clock Challenge, or will getting to the second round be a good enough prize for you?"
"Regardless, I won't be beating the clock per se - since Noble and Sterling, like Bamford and Nitro, apparently see me as nothing more than an opening act, I actually get the honor of setting the time. For all the other eight guys know, me and Kane already have a deal set up so he takes the fall within seconds of beginning the match; I'd like to see Hart try to set up a Legacy Bomb on Rodriguez when he has to beat a time of six seconds.
But, alas, there is no such deal, so all I have to rely on is my skill. I know I can make Christian Kane tap out; I know I can hit Christian Kane with the yet-to-miss Neale Cipher--"
"But--"
Nathan pulls a piece of paper out of his tights.
"Signed doctor's note. I was suffering from acute mercury poisoning due to increased fish consumption, and had double vision during the pay-per-view. I fought valiantly, and when I went for the Neale Cipher, I saw two Sinclairs. It's not my fault if the one I hit wasn't the real one... so I say it's never missed. And it hasn't.
Now, before I was so rudely interrupted, I can make Kane tap, I can make him nap... or if he's got too much fight... I can make him snap. All that won't be questionable at the end of the night is that, as usual, I will have opened the show with the best match of the night... and that I will be moving on to become the divine ruler of the Kingdom of Pride.
So, Crissy, if you have any thoughts right now, that you might be able to win tonight? Any at all? Get rid of them and get real."
The camera fades.
"It's been over a year, but it appears that in the end, nobody can keep this Kingdom down! For the first time in over twelve months, Kingdom of Pride fans, it's me, Alex Avice, "The Mouth of Pride", reporting...er... taped, from outside the locker room of Nathan Neale."
If this aired during the show, fans would boo heavily right now.
"I'm so excited for this - I've seen all six episodes of the Neale World dozens of times. My favorite one is the one where--"
The door behind him opens, and Nathan Neale walks out. His Reality Revolution logo can be seen on literally every item of clothing he's wearing - a custom-designed pair of shuttle shades, the (only obviously-emblazoned) sleeveless Nathan Neale "Reality Revolution" shirt (in merchandise stands now!), his baggy jean-tights - the only thing not covered in the red, stylized Rs are Nathan's boots, but even they can't escape the words themselves - as "REALITY" and "REVOLUTION" are stitched up the boots in white.
Nathan condescendingly wraps an arm around Alex's shoulders, though Alex is excited that the reality star seems to be so chummy with him. This entire blue portion takes place in about ten seconds, by thr way.
"Would it be the new season premiere, coming up in two weeks?"
"You're already shooting a new season?"
"Of course. Don't you know taped television? I tape a set of episodes, send them off, and then start taping later episodes in the season while they're running. I should've done that back in PWF. On top of that, you need to remember that the Neale World? It's not scripted. Everything you see is real, even the stuff that doesn't make any sense; and you know why that is, Alan?"
"It's Alex... and why?"
"Because the REAL world doesn't make sense. You might see something on my show and think 'Oh, that's not true, that could never happen' - and then we start getting reports that Mel Gibson punched his baby daughter? Stuff's ridiculous."
"Well, if anyone knows about females and violence, it's gotta be your opponent on Sunday, Christian Kane. Word backstage is that people are expecting Kane to take the win easily."
"I expected as much. Cris is a KOP original. He was one of the first ever Scramble Champions, and... damn, my generic information's all gone. Poof.
As far as I see it, yeah, it's Christian Kane, acclaimed Canadian - heh, for all that's worth - wrestler, multiple time champion in promotions up and down North America. The thing is, though? I'm Nathan Neale. I destroyed Paul Sant on the final Ignition... you remember Paul Sant, right? The only Triple Crown winner in PWF history? He went from taking a loss to me in the opener of the last TV show to becoming their final World Champion on the last pay-per-view, a week later? Screw the Dusty Rub, the Neale Rub works in a fraction of the time!"
"Well, on the subject of time, will you be looking to put Christian away as quickly as possible to try and get the reward for winning the Beat The Clock Challenge, or will getting to the second round be a good enough prize for you?"
"Regardless, I won't be beating the clock per se - since Noble and Sterling, like Bamford and Nitro, apparently see me as nothing more than an opening act, I actually get the honor of setting the time. For all the other eight guys know, me and Kane already have a deal set up so he takes the fall within seconds of beginning the match; I'd like to see Hart try to set up a Legacy Bomb on Rodriguez when he has to beat a time of six seconds.
But, alas, there is no such deal, so all I have to rely on is my skill. I know I can make Christian Kane tap out; I know I can hit Christian Kane with the yet-to-miss Neale Cipher--"
"But--"
Nathan pulls a piece of paper out of his tights.
"Signed doctor's note. I was suffering from acute mercury poisoning due to increased fish consumption, and had double vision during the pay-per-view. I fought valiantly, and when I went for the Neale Cipher, I saw two Sinclairs. It's not my fault if the one I hit wasn't the real one... so I say it's never missed. And it hasn't.
Now, before I was so rudely interrupted, I can make Kane tap, I can make him nap... or if he's got too much fight... I can make him snap. All that won't be questionable at the end of the night is that, as usual, I will have opened the show with the best match of the night... and that I will be moving on to become the divine ruler of the Kingdom of Pride.
So, Crissy, if you have any thoughts right now, that you might be able to win tonight? Any at all? Get rid of them and get real."
The camera fades.