Breaking Up is the Easiest Thing to Do

[Delikado/J-Noble]

I guess I can call Autumn Annihilation my one month anniversary in the Kingdom of Pride, and it’s been an…”interesting” one to say the least. Some people who have followed my progress may say I’ve moved at a slow speed, at a snail’s pace, and that I have hardly done enough to make a true impact like other men in this business who want to break out.

Those people’s opinions mean little to me, because I’m moving at my own pace, and things like titles and big names that mean sky-rocketing careers if you beat them or at least do well are irrelevant to me and my goal in professional wrestling.

To the fans, my peers, and everyone in between…I’m not fixed in place here. What you consider my possibilities right now, I consider second-rate choices, and what you consider second-rate choices, I consider the real possibilities.

I may be the “younger Noble” to many, and it may pain me to openly admit this when it’s something I want to break away from…but a Noble has a secure idea on what he wants out of life. I’ve got my eye on a prize. You may not know what it is, but you will when the day comes and I grab it.

Meanwhile, on to the night at hand. After everything that’s gone down within this month’s time, I was expecting a fight with Justin Kaard here at Autumn Annihilation. Suffice to say that isn’t happening now, and I’m here fighting it out with Dru Tha Merc. The names people go for sometimes…

Now, I won’t beat around the bush here: Merc is riding shotgun to a match I did not want, but I’m not about to let any of this divert my attention. Inbound to the arena, I’m inbound into the mental prep I need to shake up people’s faith in the game.

Are you getting the message clear enough now? Wake up and realize.

Breaking Up is the Easiest Thing to Do

Cookeville Community Center
3:21 PM

The scene opens in Ray Caravelle’s office with Ray sitting at his desk. Sitting ON his desk, we see a female of…interesting attire, shall we say. Both look to be in the middle of rolling joints from a baggie on the desk. Ray snickers as he finishes folding a joint and then passes it off to his lady friend, who takes it with a grin.

Hooker: Thanks.

Ray: Don’t mention it, doll.

She lights it and takes a drag while Ray finishes rolling a joint for himself and lighting it. The two both sit back and enjoy the product for a few seconds before the door to the office opens and Johnny walks in. Noble is wearing his usual casual attire and a neutral expression that also hints at boredom as he walks in slowly.

Johnny: Ray.

Ray: Shit!

Not recognizing the voice right off the bat, Ray fumbles at first in his chair, believing the arrival to be someone of danger to him in this situation, like the elder Noble brother. However, upon seeing it’s merely Johnny, he eases up and smiles.

Ray: Ahhhh, it’s my favorite Neanderthal! Still never showing any common decency like knocking before you enter the office of your superior, I see.

Johnny: That’s me. Dumb ole Johnny don’t know nothing about fancy life. Maybe I should…

Johnny stops in his tracks and looks not only at the joints in the hands of Ray and his company, but also at the stash of drugs on the desk of his manager. He snickers dryly and shakes his head at the sight.

Johnny: Now check this shit out. What have we got here?

Ray takes a drag and blows smoke into the air, coughing in the process.

Ray: Whatchu mean?

Johnny extends his hands and motions to the scene at large. He lifts an eyebrow and snickers yet again while Ray quickly connects the dots.

Ray: Hey, this right here, I earned it, Johnny boy. After these past few weeks of hard work I’ve had to do, I believe-no, I KNOW that I am entitled to blow off some pressure here.

Johnny: By doing marijuana and spending time with…

Johnny looks toward the girl on Ray’s desk.

Johnny: Whatever you’re supposed to be.

Hooker: I’m Kandi.

Johnny: Good for you.

Ray’s eyes snap up to Johnny and when he speaks to the young Noble, it’s like he’s speaking to a dog that peed on the rug.

Ray: Hey! You treat this lady with respect, you dumb ape.

Johnny: Why? Because she’s keeping you “company”?

Ray extends a threatening group of finger to Johnny, who crosses his arms and looks on not intimidated.

Ray: Watch yourself, Johnny.

Johnny walks toward the desk but says nothing as Ray takes a drag of the joint and sighs in relaxation.

Ray: So, what can I do for you, my client? Come to dine on yet more pearls of wisdom from Uncle Ray, or are you just here to amuse me with your lack of knowledge and gorilla-like temper?

Johnny: I came to make sure the match I have scheduled for tonight is still a-go and not replaced by something else…again.

Ray blows smoke into the air before answering.

Ray: Yeah, you’re good. Unless it’s a problem, and you want someone pathetic , like say…a brain-dead chimpanzee.

Johnny: Oh come on, Ray, I wouldn’t go through all the trouble of booking just to have a fight with you.

Kandi the hooker laughs out loud at this comment from Johnny and Ray’s eyes snap toward her angrily.

Ray: Shut up.

She loses her smile as Ray looks back to Johnny now with the same anger.

Ray: You know, Johnny, that’s the kind of attitude that got your paycheck taken away from you a month ago. Remember that? Remember how you had no money for food and niceties of a social life? You wanna see that happen again? Keep pissing me off, tough guy. I got no problem ignoring your bills.

Johnny doesn’t look amused by the threat, and he doesn’t stay silent about it.

Johnny: Screw you.

Ray, feeling he has now shifted the situation back in his favor, grins at Johnny’s bitter acting.

Ray: Heh, heh, heh. Calm down. Don’t get yourself in a frenzy, tough guy. We don’t need you hurting someone again because you’re big and dumb, do we? I’m just keeping you in line. Otherwise, we’re good. I’m a flexible manager who can see the good in your attitude, and you’re the client who can get the job done and earn a decent amount of…whatever it is you want around here. Now, you feel better? You at ease with the world now, Johnny? Maybe you should smoke some of this…

Ray holds out the joint to Johnny, who stares at it and seems to consider the offer for a few seconds, before shaking his head to deny it.

Johnny: No thanks.

Ray: Good. I wasn’t giving you this anyway. You need to stay focused if you’re gonna win tonight, not in some hippie “chase the dragon” land.

Johnny: Against Tha Merc, right?

Ray: That’s right. Besides, your brain cells are few and far between as it is, Johnny. We don't need the last of them dying with the drugs.

The door to Ray’s office suddenly opens and Redmond Dashdepot, the hippie neighbor and apparent drug provider of Ray, walks in. Ray looks toward the bizarrely dressed stoner, as does Johnny.

Ray: Hey, it’s another colorful character from the world of idiots I’ve associated myself with! How you doing, Dashdepot?

Dashdepot bows to Ray in response.

Dashdepot: Greetings, my fellow papaya. Are your life holes half-full today, or are they half-empty?

Ray: Yeah, yeah, sure.

Dashdepot: Great news, brother.

The hippie walks into the office and looks at Johnny, instantly recognizing him even though it’s been a few weeks.

Dashdepot: Oh, brother John, how be your life holes on this fine September 11th?

Johnny: I’m sorry, my what?

Dashdepot: Your life holes, dude. The innermost sanctums of your body that open up to the outside world for all to see. They can be protonic or electronic and they can even be neutronic if you got the karma to control it. Ying and yang, my fellow world traveler.

Johnny turns his head away and tries to look off to something else in the office as the stoned out deadbeat rambles on. Ray can be seen trying his hardest to stifle his laughter.

Johnny: Give me a break…

Ray: You’ll have to excuse Johnny boy here, Redmond. He ain’t exactly the life of the party.

Dashdepot: I heard, dude. You’re the wrestling man living your life on the proverbial Smackdown, am I right? No wait…you’re the sound…of style! You’re getting my inner feminist thinking of your character, man.

Johnny: I’m getting the hell out of here.

Johnny starts to exit the office when Ray calls out to him.

Ray: Don’t forget, Johnny. Dru Tha Merc! Go beat that asshole with whatever you had planned for Kaard and make me proud, you hear?

Dashdepot: Did you say Dru Tha Merc?

The hippie looks back and forth between Johnny and Ray with wide eyes of wonder, prompting both men to look at him in puzzlement.

Johnny: Uh….yeah.

Dashdepot: Brother, I know the man you speak of. Tha Merc is cooler than the other side of my refrigerator icebox. You gotta watch your step against Tha Merc. Wouldn’t want your life holes getting all fill-y with depression juice.

Johnny: What?

Dashdepot: Don’t be scared, dude. I’ve seen the vision. Dru Tha Merc be cool and a main man of the Hoodwinked, but you’re delightful and the silhouette to my modern stapler of society. You feel what I’m saying?

Johnny: No.

Dashdepot: Good! Because as the freedom man, his own man. Man of nobility, you need to know, brother John, that I came from the ground like you and I hit it running, therefore neither of us truly knows what the world has in store for us. Ain’t that swell to know, that your fate is a mystery?

Johnny: Peachy. I enjoy my life of insults and deranged ramblings from a hippie.

Dashdepot: I’m just saying, man. I know you got the stress of the world on your back, but you don’t have to, my friend. Your situation is real nice. One of liberty and opportunities, all your choice and tofu. Don’t be splitting under the weight of the pressure weight, because that is bad luck for your karma.

Johnny: A…are you serious?

Dashdepot: Maybe not. Maybe not. I just smoked fifty G’s worth and played some Lite-Brite.

Johnny has now begun to look far from amused at the conversation that’s going on. So much so that he has now looked at the door five or six times now.

Ray: Hey, Johnny, you get what Dashdepot is telling you? It sure as shit is some advice you should live by, you know? Hahaha!

Johnny looks to Ray with a miniature scowl as Dashdepot looks to be zoning out into his own world.

Johnny: Oh yeah, I’m getting plenty here.

Dashdepot looks back to Johnny and smiles through his thick beard.

Dashdepot: So, my wrestling brother, what else can I do for you on your discovery journey?

Johnny seems to consider this question for a few seconds…and then he gives everything a mental “screw it” and speaks his thoughts aloud.

Johnny: What you…

He looks between Ray and Dashdepot as he says this.

Johnny: …both of you can do, in fact, is cut all your ties with me and stay the hell out of my way. Really. That, that is what you can do for me here.

Ray: Awww, here we go with the temper again! Take cover, everyone! Heh, heh, heh!

Johnny turns to Ray and rips the joint from his hand.

Ray: OH!

Johnny walks past Dashdepot, opens the door to the office, and flings the joint out the door. He then sticks his head through the doorway to the hall.

Johnny: *yelling* Hey, Ray! Don’t throw your pot around!!

Ray’s jaw drops as he stumbles out of his chair and to his feet.

Ray: You son of a bitch!!! You think I was kidding before? I'll have your ass on the street eating sewage, Johnny boy!

Johnny slams the door in front of Ray and blocks his path.

Johnny: I’m not done, Ray. You see, I also need you to know that I’m done being your bitch of a “client.” Hell, I’m not even sure you’re qualified to be a manager, given you’re an INTERN.

Ray’s eyes widen at what he’s hearing from Johnny.

Ray: Johnny, you, boy, are making yourself-

Johnny: Shut up. Just shut the hell up for five seconds.

Ray stops in his tracks as Johnny confronts him.

Johnny: You know, I’ve seen a lot of people like you in my life. You think just because you have a little more authority that you’re a big-shot. You come from a place where your family made money or got powerful friends that held your hand on the road to success. Meanwhile, guys like me, guys who have worked on our own and hard enough in the real world to be deserving of the same power you have, we don’t have it. Now, I honestly believe I could look the other way and let this go, because I did it for years before I came here and became plagued with your jag-off of a self. I mean I’ve met a lot of douchebags in my day, but you, Ray, you’re the biggest one I’ve met so far.

Johnny shakes his head and waves his hand dismissively.

Johnny: And you’re just an intern. A guy hoping to one day be placed in a managerial position or even a CEO or whatever else there is on your agenda. You wear the suits, you chit-chat with all the officials, but you’re a goddamn fucking idiot when it comes to working with people like me, people who you would have to manage and keep satisfied with your officiating. I’m about as real as it gets when it comes to an actual wrestler on the roster you’ll have to put up with if you made GM, Ray. And your attitude, that little self-superior crock of shit you call a personality, that’ll drive guys like me away before you can realize you just lost a piece of your company.

Johnny points the threatening finger at Ray now, who is speechless at this point.

Johnny: I know you well enough at this point to be able to guess you’re a permanent asshole. You don’t give advice, if you can even call it that, to help me. You just do it to help yourself so you can look good for doing nothing, none of the real work. So tonight, I go out there and wrestle. Whether I win or lose, it doesn’t matter, because I’m doing it free of you and all your charming qualities that I’m sure made you as many friends as you’ve made.

He briefly glances at Dashdepot, who is zoned out to the point he has no idea what’s transpiring before him.

Johnny: So this…this is through, you dumb shit. I’m telling you now:

Johnny leans toward Ray and looks him dead in the eye.

Johnny: This is my career we’re talking about, and I don’t want your name or your face associated with it anymore than it’s already suffered with. And you may have paid the bills and everything else, but I don’t care. I’m telling you to go away, so you go the hell away in every sense possible. If you don’t, I’ll just move on to making you my next opponent in the ring. That doesn’t help you realize I’m serious, we’ll do it again, and again. The point is, it ends here, and you’re the only reason.

Johnny turns away from his former “manager” and exits the office, shutting the door behind him in a rather comically gentle manner. Ray himself stands in stunned silence and his eyes slowly look around the office at Kandi, who is equally speechless, and Dashdepot, who is silent for different reasons. With that, the "partnership" of Raymond Caravelle and Johnny Noble comes to an end and the scene slowly fades out…

Breaking Up is the Easiest Thing to Do