New Beginnings Nov 22, 2010 14:41:15 GMT -5
Post by Claude LeBatard on Nov 22, 2010 14:41:15 GMT -5
written, casted, directed & edited by Claude LeBatard[/color]
The scene begins and a camera slowly fades in onto a large building, most likely an arena judging from the size and shape of it. After clear inspection of the building it is obviously the head quaters of Kingdom of Pride. The headquaters stands surrounded by numerous other, less well looked after buildings with a car park behind the buildings. A long winding road connects the car park to the rest of society across the way.
The car park is packed tight with cars owned by the typical business men keeping kingdom of Pride running. The few 4x4’s stick out the most as they tower above the other cars like the giants of the driving world. Then there are the sports cars that few people can afford, these slick auto-mobiles stand packed in with the rest of the rabble of cars but still have those characteristics that make them easy to spot, the buffed exterior, the sweet leather interior. However, some of the cars in the carpark these works of art are the everyday, neglected cars that would be slouching against the wall of the building, smoking a roll up if they had the opportunity. But cars, have no such oppertunities to act like that, they still continue to give off the aura that they would given the chance.
Despite the amount of cars in the car park the street infront of the buildings are lifeless, everyone must be hard at work, that or people are just taking advantage of the car park. An unlikely scenario when KoP needs to be kept in tip top shape to function. Soon there is a sign of life though, from civilization at the bottom of the road emerges a jet black, limosine, the king of the motoring world. The limo rolls up the smooth, tarmac road, slowly approaching the other cars. The windows of the limo are blacked out so it is not yet obvious who is inside. The light of the sun bounce off the polished, chrome bumbers giving the car a glowing effect.
Eventually the limo rolls to a stop just at the entrance of the car park. After a few seconds the limo begins to roll forward weaving its way through the other cars, almost bending in on its self, as the long slender cars twists and turns trying to find a space. Finally the limo reaches its destination parkerd narrowly inbetween two large 4x4’s, sandwiched in like a hotdog between two sides of a bun.
The driver side door swings open at full force straight into the door of the 4x4 on that side. The limo door leaves a huge imprint in the side of the parked giant despite the door only swinging a few centimetres. Through the small gap a pair of feet swing round out of the door. The shoes are as black as the night sky and polished beyond perfection leaving the light glimmering off them like a single star alone in the sky. The pants are a rather dull grey, worn at the knees and tatty round the ankles. How the same person can be wearing such well looked after shoes and such contrasting, raggedy pants is anyones guess.
The rest of the person tries to squeeze through the small gap into the fresh air but struggles to get the rest of their legs out. The image resembles a rather petité woman trying to give birth to a rhino. Soon enough throught he determination of the legs pays off the waist pops through, however, the large buldge above the waist just makes the task even more impossible. The bottom half of this, what is assumed to be a man, although it could be a bear in a suit judging by the stubby legs, begins to wiggle about recklessly trying to free themselves from the tight deathlock of the limo door.
After minutes of thrashing about the torso of the person becomes free and slides down out of the door with ease like a cow giving birth to a calf. The torso looks like the top half of a grey suit or a chauffeurs outfit which is the more likely option considering the person was driving a limo. Unfortunately, the head is still stuck in the door frame of the limo. The amount of effort put into this endevour by this one poor soul almost seems pointless, with every hurdle completed another one just seems to appear, like a never ending hurdle race in an olympics of pointlessness, where the crowds are forced to sit and cheer for this needless occasion until they die in a pit of tiredness and boredom.
The headless body just sits there like a corpse, practically lifeless as struggling now just seems like a waste of time. Something unusual seems to be in the air though. Surely, a chauffeur with a limo, there must be a passenger, but if there is, they have made no attempt to get out or make sure the driver is ok. Soon enough though after minutes of waiting for the back door to be opened a french voice is heard calling to the driver.
Passenger: Maurice… what is going on?
Maurice: Errrr nothing… just a slight technical problem…
Passenger: What sort of technical problem?
Maurice: Technically I’m stuck…
Passenger: Zis is my first meeting with ze new federation and you ‘ave already wrecked it, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t give you ze boot.
Maurice: Because… I’m the only one that can get the limo out of this gap, if you fire me you’re stuck here.
Passenger: … Si vous ne faites pas attention, je vais te tuer, vider votre intérieur, avez-vous rembourrés et mis sur mon manteau!
Passenger: Just get me out of here!
Maurice: Yes sir.
The now named chauffeur, Maurice, clambers to his feet with his head still stuck in the car. He gains his bearings as he stands hunched over with his head in the door. Maurice places one hand on the side of the car and the other on the edge of the door, he then begins to push off the car trying to force his head through the tiny gap. However, his head is far to big to squeeze through such a small gap. That doesn’t stop him from trying though, using the phrase ‘persistance is the key’, Maurice continues to try and force his head through the narrow gap.
Passenger: Maurice! Why is ze door not open yet!?
Maurice: Nearly there sir, just sorting a few minor details out.
Passenger: Right, I’m getting out, I’m sick of your shinnanigans Maurice!
Maurice: No sir, just…
The back door on the driver side swings open and slams into the same 4x4 in an act of déjà vu. This time though the legs do no squeze through, instead they shoot out into the door and begin kicking it trying to force the door open like a battering ram. The door dents into the car but still doesn’t open enough for the passenger to get out.
Passenger: Maurice! Why is ze door not opening!?
Maurice: Well sir, we seems to be a little stuck between two cars…
Passenger: A little stuck? I can’t move! You ‘ave sandwiched us in ‘ere! I demand you reverse out of ‘ere!
Maurice: …But I’ve taken the key out of the ignition already… just climb through the sun roof…
Passenger:Putain vous Maurice! When I get out of here Maurice you’re going to be my first opponent in a parking lot brawl!
Maurice lets out a whimper and really put all his efforts into pulling his head out. Meanwhile the sun roof on the top of the limo slowly draws back and a new face pops through. The head of Claude LeBatard rises through the sun roof with a disgruntled look spread across his imacculate face. His jet black hair is slicked back into a ponty tail showing off every feature of the work of art that is his face. The look of pure hatred on his face would spoil any normal persons face, but not Claudes! He rotates his head 180 degrees to face the front of the limo, he then stares at the struggling mess that is Maurice.
Claude: I see ze problem…
Claudes head descends back into the limo and the camera focuses back on Maurice still struggling to release his head. A rustling noise comes from inside the car before Maurice lets out a little yelp.
Maurice: … Sir… what are you doing?...
Claude: ‘Old still Maurice…
Maurice: No, Sir… wait… no…
Claude: ’Ere we go…
Maurice: N-n-n-n-n-n OOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!
Claudes foot shoots straight into Maurice’s face at full force and quickly pushes it straight out of the door frame. Maurice falls back hitting his head on the 4x4 that had sandwiched him in. Maurice quickly fumbles to his feet clutching his head before shuffling out from between the two parks cars. Unfortunately, Maurice's robust figure makes it this almost as much of an effort as getting his fat head out the door.
Claudes head rears out of the sun roof again and gives Maurice the coldest stare known to man. He then brings his arms out of the roof and lifts himself through the sun roof relying on his upper body strength, which he has plenty of. Claude is a man of perfect physical structure, with optimum speed, strength and technical ability, making him a master in the ring.
Claude slides down the back of the limo and off the trunk landing easily on his feet before brushing off his shoulders incase of any dust or creases. Claude is wearing a lightly coloured grey suit and a black tie to complete his ensemble. Maurice joins him by his left side as if nothing has happened. Claude looks at Maurice for a second before pointing to their left.
Maurice: Oooo, what’s that?
Maurice looks to the left for a few seconds while Claude just stares at his idiotic man servant. Maurice turns round with a look of disappointment on his face, As he does Claude slaps him round the back of the head swiftly before walking off. Maurice quickly follows after locking up the limo.
The two men walk across the car park at a quickened pace before exiting it onto a path leading up to the building. Suddenly Claude stops without warning causing Maurice to walk straight into the back of him. Claude stares into the the doors of his new destiny unphased. No path of life phases Claude, each goal at the end of it is the same, become champion, the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be.
Maurice, on the other hand, is completely different. He's is completely daunted by the prospect of having to start again in a new wrestling federation. Not that it has anything to do with him, but that's Maurice, taking things too far.
Claude: Here it is Maurice, my destiny, soon all here will know my name!
Maurice: Yep, all 400 fans.
Claude: Was zat a sarcastic comment Maurice!?
Maurice: No, i just know that the arena here is very small.
Claude: Yes well, so is your est votre testiculaire
Claude: I made a dergoative comment about your testiclar area Maurice, get over it. We all know you're just compensating by buying bigger shoes than you need.
Maurice: I'm a size eleven!
Claude: Oui, and i'm ze queen of Moldova! Your english shoe sizes mean nothing to me!
As the two bicker amongst themselves a man slowly walks across the car park to Claudes limo, he inspects the 4x4 which is assumed to be his before noticing the extreme damage on the side next to the limo.
Man: What the hell happened to my car!?
Maurice and Claude look at each other panicing, before Claude spins Maurice round so Claude is behind Maurice.
Claude: Quick Maurice, run!
Claude jumps onto the back of Maurice and kicks his heels into Maurice’s kidneys. Maurice jumps up before galloping towards the building doors. As the two get into the distance the camera slowly fades to black as the scene ends.