Post by masamune3570 on Dec 18, 2010 7:02:34 GMT -5
(I apologize if I offend anyone this is prolly the dumbest shit I’ve ever wrote, but I had fun with it lmfao)
The scene opens up with a wide panned out shot of one of the tallest, highest rollercoasters in North America, the Goliath, stationed at Six Flags over Atlanta...
We zoom in on a close-up shot of a buncha different people sitting in the coaster’s cart seats, waiting with anticipation as they can see the entire city of Atlanta before their very eyes, a drop of adrenaline about to burst from each and every person on this thrill-seeking ride. Suddenly, we are greeted with two very unusual looking gentlemen sitting in the same two-seater cart…one of them is a rather ghetto colored negro with a peculiar appearance, a giant golden clock hanging around his neck, how the hell the security let that shit fly is anyone’s guess. Sitting next to him is his Asian partner in crime, who resembles your typical Master Miyagi dojo pieface look-alike.
Jing takes a moment to open his eyes now that they have arrived to the very top of the Goliath’s 200 foot tall structure, soaking in the moment he is about to experience…terror fills his lungs, as he starts screaming in unintelligible obscenities…
Jerome finishes rolling two fatass blunts, takes off his headphones for a moment, offering these objects to calm the nerves of Jing down…
“Yo you betta chill the fuck out, cuz. We bout to dip out this bitch in just a few. Sit back and take a hit! Can’t you enjoy a gah dayum theme park like a normal slant-eyed muh fugga?”
Jing responds with a rather appalled mannerism, staring at Jerome like he’s some kind of crazy baboon.
“AHHHHHHH-“
Jerome immediately shuts him up, stuffing the blunt right in between his lips, Jing gripping onto it with his mouth, shutting his jaw…before he knows it, he’s taking a hit right there on the rollercoaster. Jerome notices his body start to relax, and a wide-eyed smile crawls across his face, exposing his golden grill to the world. The Doctor of Negronomics tosses one his earpieces to Jing, and tells him “ey you gotta peep this shit right quick before we blast. This is what I’ma be blastin next weekend befo’ mah big fight!”
Just as Jing is really startin to get bumpin, the coaster starts to slowly slide down…Jerome takes the hint and yoinks the headphones out of his ears, then slaps him a few times on the chest…
“GET READY SHAWTAY, WE BOUT TO BOTTOM OUTTTTT”
Next thing you know, the Goliath takes off at full speed, the newest Kingdom of Pride tag team acquisition known as Spooks and Gooks enjoying this incredible ride, mouths wide agape as they both start yellin louder than anyone else on that cart. Flash forward a few heart throbbing angles of them having the time of their life, we now cut to the odd couple getting off the ride, Jing and Jerome both red-eyed, looking blazed out of their mind as they stumble their way around the park. Greeting them is another black man in a pimped out diamond encrusted GI suit, none other than Bruce Leroy, with two wenches surrounding him, dangling off his arms.
“Gah DAYUM that was fuckin ridiculous! But it’s bout high time ahh get mah feast on! Yall jiggaboos hungry for some Popeyes?”
“Fo’get Popeyes, darky! We go to Panda Express! Jungle Fever want orange chicken, yes?”
The dark-skinned, sexual chocolate lookin skanky girl wearing the shortest mini-skirt and a tanktop with long curly hair comes waltzin up besides Jing, hanging her leg around him and thrusting like she’s ready to fuck right there in the middle of the theme park, not even caring if there’s a buncha families and kids runnin around. Sydewayz rolls up and jumps in Jerome’s arms, who proceeds to immediately drop her on her ass, because he’s stoned as a motherfucker and can’t concentrate on catching dumb hos at the moment.
“Owwww! The hell’s wrong wit chu?! Why didn’t you catch me?”
“Cuz I got bigger thangs on mah mind than yo caved-in Hoover Dam lookin pussy, trick, now lay the fuck off a nigguh!”
Bruce Leroy runs up to Jerome, places a supportive hand on his shoulder in order to figure out what’s going on.
“You talkin bout your big match comin up this weekend?”
Jerome chuckles that off, as the group of miscreants approaches the entrance to the Panda Express stationed in the restaurant chain of the theme park. They kick open the doors, as Jerome elaborates.
“Yeah…and how me and my boy Jing fixin to shut this Panda Express outta business, ey J-Dawg?”
The two exchange a convoluted fist pump/secret handshake that no one in a right state of mind could ever figure out. They see some little kids and a couple of housewives sittin at a table, Jerome quickly gets rid of them simply by approaching and looking black…just to add effect, he starts acting really ignorant.
“Yo unless yall bout to open up yo jaws and deep throat a nigguh, yall better get tah steppin, cause Spooks and Gooks fixin to run a train up in hurr.”
The two white women cover their poor children’s ears, attempting to safeguard them from these hooligans, taking them by the hands as they leave in a state of shock. The kids double take the whole group, chuckling a couple of times and waving. Sydewayz and Jungle Fever find this adorable, and wave back real obnoxiously. Jerome slaps Jing on the chest and starts mouthing off orders…
“Yo Jing, hit up the counter, we gotta get this food poppin.”
Jing slaps him back with a friendly over-the-top gesture afterwards, spawns a cheesy smile, and heads straight to the counter…while he’s walking, he notices two gentlemen in extravagant business suits to the right of him playing poker…they are staring directly into his eyes, as he gets a good look at their faces and cannot believe what he’s witnessing. Maybe it’s Jerome’s weed…?
The two gentlemen proceed to lower their heads down as to not raise any suspicions, but when you look like that, how the hell can you not look strange? Whatever the case, Jing moves onto the counter and starts yelling in Japanese at the cashier…meanwhile, Bruce Leroy and Jerome talk business at the table.
“Jerome, enough tom-foolery for a moment. Winter Warfare is comin up in just a couple of days. Spooks and Gooks already got beat by some mask wearin wetbacks. And now you gotta fight against some white boys named Eddie Nash and Stuart Cage?! The hell you gonna do about this?”
Jerome responds with a real stern look on his face, takin a swig outta the large 52 oz cup of purple drank in his right hand.
“The same thang I’ma do to this food, and the same thang that happens when I ejaculate into Sydewayz’ throat! Forget the past, fuck the past, me and Jing had an off-night. Ain’t none of that gon’ mattah after I roll in there deep and lay the pipe to their candyasses. The fuck kinda wrestlers are these guys anyway?”
“Well I hear Stuart Cage hails all the way from Scotland, so obviously he’s prolly traveled all over the globe, just like we have.”
Jerome sprawls his feet out on the table, Sydeways cuddling with him, wrapping her arms around him as Jungle Fever checks on Jing to see why they haven’t gotten their food yet, yelling like only a black woman can.
“So he’s euro-jock honkey garbage. Gimme one good reason I should worry about that.”
“Well for one, he used to team with Christian Kane, the dude whose main eventin this gig, gunnin for the World Title. I doubt that nigguh teams with anyone.
“Aight real talk…that doesn’t mean shit. Walkin around, palin with a guy like Christian Kane’s skinhead nazi lookin ass bein your only claim to fame…then you prolly a jobber in this world…yo where the hell our food at?!”
Jerome starts getting agitated, slamming his fists to the table, as Jing and Jungle Fever are still arguing with the cashier, who shouts out “I’m telling you for the last time, we don’t serve watermelon products here!!”
“Jerome, focus for just a moment, they got our food covered….aight, it’s a triple threat, there’s gon be another folk in the ring with ya. Name’s Eddie Nash. Checked out the profile on this foo’…looks pretty dangerous, ‘J-Mac. Reppin the bikers around the world, looks like he just got outta Hell’s Angels. Some hard time shit. Says he has a lot in common with “our kind” of people. Has an amateur wrasslin background to boot! Can’t be takin a man like this lightly, otherwise our asses gonna end up right back on welfare at this rate...”
Jerome cuts Bruce off right there, layin down the law…
“Yo ahh told you once, ahh say it again, food stamps ain’t all that bad! This Eddie Nash King of the Road muh fugga may act all hard, hell, he might even think he can identify with us just cuz him and faggot ass white boy fuck buddies prolly spend every wakin moment rollin around suckin each other off playin Road Rash in their spare time. Just cuz you can lay a nigguh out with a steel chain doesn’t make you hard. And just cuz you can give a dude in your college gym class a reacharound ten times doesn’t make you Kurt Angle on DECK. I’ma prove all ah’ this when I whoop dat ass.”
The manager of the Panda Express starts to walk towards the counter, approaching Jing and Jungle Fever, attempting to figure out the situation…
“Can I help you two? What seems to be the problem here?”
Jing responds with an irate look in his eyes…
“I DO HAVE PROBREM! Me want watermelon for my black friends! You no serve water melon along wiff Orange Chicken?! What’s wrong wiff place?”
Jerome jumps out of his chair, and charges up to the counter, actin like a total hardass gangsta…
“Ahh can tell you what the problem is, Jing. We got ourselves a couple ahh white supremacists in here. They wanna put you in an internment camp!! They wanna string ahh asses up and lynch us!! Well gah damnit, I ain’t gon let that happen!”
Jerome busts out a Desert Eagle out of his right jacket pocket, and proceeds to shoot both the cashier and the manager directly in the face, killing them right on the spot. Instead of pulling out cash from the register like any average criminal, he lifts the glass plates guarding the food, picks up a fork, and just starts gorging on the food.
“Yeahhhhh whose the coon now BITCH! KNOCKED YO ASS OUT! EDDIE NASH AND STUART CAGE BOUT TO GET PUT ON BLAST!”
The rest of the members of Spooks and Gooks start to flip their shit, especially Bruce Leroy, who starts pacing around wondering why he just pulled out the gat.
“You…you just SHOT THEM! You just murdered two innocent civilians in broad daylight!”
Jing shrugs his shoulders for a moment, pausing for a little bit…he then proceeds to throw his arms in the air, and joins in on the food gorging
“AT REAST REE HAVE ORANGE CHICKEN!”
The hooligans steal the rest of the food, picking up the metal trays holding them, and strut out casually from the Panda Express, the rest of their entourage following screaming and shouting at the insanity of it all. The two other gentlemen remaining in the restaurant stop what there doing, and look at each other, nodding in agreement. The blackface’d whitey and fat asian man stand up from their booth, and start to chase after these thugs! We cut to one last shot of Jerome and Jing dippin as fast as they can out of the Six Flags amusement parks, big shit-eating grins on both their faces.
This Is Offensive
The scene opens up with a wide panned out shot of one of the tallest, highest rollercoasters in North America, the Goliath, stationed at Six Flags over Atlanta...
We zoom in on a close-up shot of a buncha different people sitting in the coaster’s cart seats, waiting with anticipation as they can see the entire city of Atlanta before their very eyes, a drop of adrenaline about to burst from each and every person on this thrill-seeking ride. Suddenly, we are greeted with two very unusual looking gentlemen sitting in the same two-seater cart…one of them is a rather ghetto colored negro with a peculiar appearance, a giant golden clock hanging around his neck, how the hell the security let that shit fly is anyone’s guess. Sitting next to him is his Asian partner in crime, who resembles your typical Master Miyagi dojo pieface look-alike.
Jing takes a moment to open his eyes now that they have arrived to the very top of the Goliath’s 200 foot tall structure, soaking in the moment he is about to experience…terror fills his lungs, as he starts screaming in unintelligible obscenities…
Jerome finishes rolling two fatass blunts, takes off his headphones for a moment, offering these objects to calm the nerves of Jing down…
“Yo you betta chill the fuck out, cuz. We bout to dip out this bitch in just a few. Sit back and take a hit! Can’t you enjoy a gah dayum theme park like a normal slant-eyed muh fugga?”
Jing responds with a rather appalled mannerism, staring at Jerome like he’s some kind of crazy baboon.
“AHHHHHHH-“
Jerome immediately shuts him up, stuffing the blunt right in between his lips, Jing gripping onto it with his mouth, shutting his jaw…before he knows it, he’s taking a hit right there on the rollercoaster. Jerome notices his body start to relax, and a wide-eyed smile crawls across his face, exposing his golden grill to the world. The Doctor of Negronomics tosses one his earpieces to Jing, and tells him “ey you gotta peep this shit right quick before we blast. This is what I’ma be blastin next weekend befo’ mah big fight!”
Just as Jing is really startin to get bumpin, the coaster starts to slowly slide down…Jerome takes the hint and yoinks the headphones out of his ears, then slaps him a few times on the chest…
“GET READY SHAWTAY, WE BOUT TO BOTTOM OUTTTTT”
Next thing you know, the Goliath takes off at full speed, the newest Kingdom of Pride tag team acquisition known as Spooks and Gooks enjoying this incredible ride, mouths wide agape as they both start yellin louder than anyone else on that cart. Flash forward a few heart throbbing angles of them having the time of their life, we now cut to the odd couple getting off the ride, Jing and Jerome both red-eyed, looking blazed out of their mind as they stumble their way around the park. Greeting them is another black man in a pimped out diamond encrusted GI suit, none other than Bruce Leroy, with two wenches surrounding him, dangling off his arms.
“Gah DAYUM that was fuckin ridiculous! But it’s bout high time ahh get mah feast on! Yall jiggaboos hungry for some Popeyes?”
“Fo’get Popeyes, darky! We go to Panda Express! Jungle Fever want orange chicken, yes?”
The dark-skinned, sexual chocolate lookin skanky girl wearing the shortest mini-skirt and a tanktop with long curly hair comes waltzin up besides Jing, hanging her leg around him and thrusting like she’s ready to fuck right there in the middle of the theme park, not even caring if there’s a buncha families and kids runnin around. Sydewayz rolls up and jumps in Jerome’s arms, who proceeds to immediately drop her on her ass, because he’s stoned as a motherfucker and can’t concentrate on catching dumb hos at the moment.
“Owwww! The hell’s wrong wit chu?! Why didn’t you catch me?”
“Cuz I got bigger thangs on mah mind than yo caved-in Hoover Dam lookin pussy, trick, now lay the fuck off a nigguh!”
Bruce Leroy runs up to Jerome, places a supportive hand on his shoulder in order to figure out what’s going on.
“You talkin bout your big match comin up this weekend?”
Jerome chuckles that off, as the group of miscreants approaches the entrance to the Panda Express stationed in the restaurant chain of the theme park. They kick open the doors, as Jerome elaborates.
“Yeah…and how me and my boy Jing fixin to shut this Panda Express outta business, ey J-Dawg?”
The two exchange a convoluted fist pump/secret handshake that no one in a right state of mind could ever figure out. They see some little kids and a couple of housewives sittin at a table, Jerome quickly gets rid of them simply by approaching and looking black…just to add effect, he starts acting really ignorant.
“Yo unless yall bout to open up yo jaws and deep throat a nigguh, yall better get tah steppin, cause Spooks and Gooks fixin to run a train up in hurr.”
The two white women cover their poor children’s ears, attempting to safeguard them from these hooligans, taking them by the hands as they leave in a state of shock. The kids double take the whole group, chuckling a couple of times and waving. Sydewayz and Jungle Fever find this adorable, and wave back real obnoxiously. Jerome slaps Jing on the chest and starts mouthing off orders…
“Yo Jing, hit up the counter, we gotta get this food poppin.”
Jing slaps him back with a friendly over-the-top gesture afterwards, spawns a cheesy smile, and heads straight to the counter…while he’s walking, he notices two gentlemen in extravagant business suits to the right of him playing poker…they are staring directly into his eyes, as he gets a good look at their faces and cannot believe what he’s witnessing. Maybe it’s Jerome’s weed…?
The two gentlemen proceed to lower their heads down as to not raise any suspicions, but when you look like that, how the hell can you not look strange? Whatever the case, Jing moves onto the counter and starts yelling in Japanese at the cashier…meanwhile, Bruce Leroy and Jerome talk business at the table.
“Jerome, enough tom-foolery for a moment. Winter Warfare is comin up in just a couple of days. Spooks and Gooks already got beat by some mask wearin wetbacks. And now you gotta fight against some white boys named Eddie Nash and Stuart Cage?! The hell you gonna do about this?”
Jerome responds with a real stern look on his face, takin a swig outta the large 52 oz cup of purple drank in his right hand.
“The same thang I’ma do to this food, and the same thang that happens when I ejaculate into Sydewayz’ throat! Forget the past, fuck the past, me and Jing had an off-night. Ain’t none of that gon’ mattah after I roll in there deep and lay the pipe to their candyasses. The fuck kinda wrestlers are these guys anyway?”
“Well I hear Stuart Cage hails all the way from Scotland, so obviously he’s prolly traveled all over the globe, just like we have.”
Jerome sprawls his feet out on the table, Sydeways cuddling with him, wrapping her arms around him as Jungle Fever checks on Jing to see why they haven’t gotten their food yet, yelling like only a black woman can.
“So he’s euro-jock honkey garbage. Gimme one good reason I should worry about that.”
“Well for one, he used to team with Christian Kane, the dude whose main eventin this gig, gunnin for the World Title. I doubt that nigguh teams with anyone.
“Aight real talk…that doesn’t mean shit. Walkin around, palin with a guy like Christian Kane’s skinhead nazi lookin ass bein your only claim to fame…then you prolly a jobber in this world…yo where the hell our food at?!”
Jerome starts getting agitated, slamming his fists to the table, as Jing and Jungle Fever are still arguing with the cashier, who shouts out “I’m telling you for the last time, we don’t serve watermelon products here!!”
“Jerome, focus for just a moment, they got our food covered….aight, it’s a triple threat, there’s gon be another folk in the ring with ya. Name’s Eddie Nash. Checked out the profile on this foo’…looks pretty dangerous, ‘J-Mac. Reppin the bikers around the world, looks like he just got outta Hell’s Angels. Some hard time shit. Says he has a lot in common with “our kind” of people. Has an amateur wrasslin background to boot! Can’t be takin a man like this lightly, otherwise our asses gonna end up right back on welfare at this rate...”
Jerome cuts Bruce off right there, layin down the law…
“Yo ahh told you once, ahh say it again, food stamps ain’t all that bad! This Eddie Nash King of the Road muh fugga may act all hard, hell, he might even think he can identify with us just cuz him and faggot ass white boy fuck buddies prolly spend every wakin moment rollin around suckin each other off playin Road Rash in their spare time. Just cuz you can lay a nigguh out with a steel chain doesn’t make you hard. And just cuz you can give a dude in your college gym class a reacharound ten times doesn’t make you Kurt Angle on DECK. I’ma prove all ah’ this when I whoop dat ass.”
The manager of the Panda Express starts to walk towards the counter, approaching Jing and Jungle Fever, attempting to figure out the situation…
“Can I help you two? What seems to be the problem here?”
Jing responds with an irate look in his eyes…
“I DO HAVE PROBREM! Me want watermelon for my black friends! You no serve water melon along wiff Orange Chicken?! What’s wrong wiff place?”
Jerome jumps out of his chair, and charges up to the counter, actin like a total hardass gangsta…
“Ahh can tell you what the problem is, Jing. We got ourselves a couple ahh white supremacists in here. They wanna put you in an internment camp!! They wanna string ahh asses up and lynch us!! Well gah damnit, I ain’t gon let that happen!”
Jerome busts out a Desert Eagle out of his right jacket pocket, and proceeds to shoot both the cashier and the manager directly in the face, killing them right on the spot. Instead of pulling out cash from the register like any average criminal, he lifts the glass plates guarding the food, picks up a fork, and just starts gorging on the food.
“Yeahhhhh whose the coon now BITCH! KNOCKED YO ASS OUT! EDDIE NASH AND STUART CAGE BOUT TO GET PUT ON BLAST!”
The rest of the members of Spooks and Gooks start to flip their shit, especially Bruce Leroy, who starts pacing around wondering why he just pulled out the gat.
“You…you just SHOT THEM! You just murdered two innocent civilians in broad daylight!”
Jing shrugs his shoulders for a moment, pausing for a little bit…he then proceeds to throw his arms in the air, and joins in on the food gorging
“AT REAST REE HAVE ORANGE CHICKEN!”
The hooligans steal the rest of the food, picking up the metal trays holding them, and strut out casually from the Panda Express, the rest of their entourage following screaming and shouting at the insanity of it all. The two other gentlemen remaining in the restaurant stop what there doing, and look at each other, nodding in agreement. The blackface’d whitey and fat asian man stand up from their booth, and start to chase after these thugs! We cut to one last shot of Jerome and Jing dippin as fast as they can out of the Six Flags amusement parks, big shit-eating grins on both their faces.
