Post by Josh Eagles on Dec 13, 2010 13:23:06 GMT -5
The time was almost at hand where war would be set upon me once again and I would for the first time ever be called upon to defend the Valiant Championship that I had fought hard to obtain. Life certainly was taking a turn for the crazy if you could call it anything else. Tensions between the UWL and KoP had now reached the boiling point after an attack by the UWL left, well pretty much just me helpless a fact that I am sure my opponent Christian Kane will be happy to take advantage of. Things with the KoP management were not getting any better and may have even taken a further downhill slant then I ever expected. The KoP was at it's breaking point but right now I had to put all of that aside and that was something I was going to do.
Christian Kane! That was the one and only name that floated in my head. In less then a weeks time I was going to step into the ring with Kane and I was going to defend the Valiant Championship against him once more and I had no intention of losing. As a matter of fact I had every intention of hurting Christian Kane and making him pay for his actions. I had given the man a title shot and he had even earned my respect by taking on each and every challenge I set to him and managing to even win most of them, only to try and take the title in the most cowardly way possible. Not only did he try and take the belt in the most cowardly way possible he abandonded the KoP when they needed someone like him to step up. He had left me for dead.
I wasn't a fool. For some reason I was going into this match seen as the underdog, I wasn't liked by the KoP locker room for one reason or another. Maybe having respect for people wasn't the cool thing to do anymore. Maybe being a woman beating, foul mouth, sugar coated, cunt nugget was what a person needed to do to earn the respect of the roster. Well that wasn't someone I was. Josh Eagles, that was a name that took on all comers, fought against the odds no matter what the price and that is what I was going to do at Winter Warfare. I was going to make Christian Kane understand that he had once again messed with the wrong person, that he had once again chose the wrong backyard to go snooping in. For once it was going to be Christian Kane who suffered ...
The scene comes to life and we see Josh Eagles in some casual clothes, a buttoned shirt and a pair of jeans sitting down in what appears to be a waiting room. It isn't your typical waiting room though, it has a carpeted floor, very comfortable looking seats. Josh is just looking around the room waiting to see whomever it is he is here to see when the receptionist behind the desk answers the phone, hangs up and looks his way.
"Mr. Eagles. Dr.Heinz will see you now."
Josh stands up and gives the young girl a nod. He had likely seen prettier but she wouldn't be too bad for a one night rump. As Josh walks towards the door there is a strong limp in his left leg and we can still see bandages and bruises on visible parts of his skin from the beating he suffered just days ago. Josh opens the door and walks in to what can only be called a very stereotypical psych office. Dr. Heinz we can presume is the middle aged man sitting on a couch, his black hair is spotted with gray likely left to add the appearance of dignity to him. He has glasses and looks to be reading from a journal and he looks up and sees Josh and stands up and smiles.
"Ahhh Mr. Eagles I presume. Please come in and have a seat."
Dr. Heinz motions to the couch across from him, not your typical lay down crazy man couch, but just your basic everyday couch. As Josh walks over and takes a seat with a nod Dr. Heinz studies him very closely.
"You appear to be in some distress there Mr. Eagles, may I ask what happened?"
Dr. Heinz clearly of British decent from his accent sits down and we can tell he is a very well spoken and professional man. Not sure how well that is going to fit with a man as out spoken as Josh Eagles.
"I was jumped by one person and then jumped by another person and then who knows how many other people."
"That's dreadful, I'm glad to see your still able to walk and breathe. Have the police laid any charges?"
Josh gives a little chuckle which forces him to wince in pain and grab his ribs where clearly there is an injury he is not showing.
"No it's all part of my job. The police can't really do anything about this."
Dr. Heinz raises an eyebrow and furrows his face into a quizzical expression.
"What job could you possible have that the police can't get involved in a mugging?"
"It wasn't a mugging, it was called message sending. I'm a professional wrestler and a champion in my company to boot, this is an every week kind of thing."
Dr. Heinz now seems to be studying Josh in a very different light knowing his profession may have changed whatever it was he was thinking.
"Well I still believe that is dreadful and ludacris that you stay in this position and career line but that is not for me to judge. Josh may I ask why you are here to see me? Also before it comes out I am quite sure like most you will say you don't want to be here but someone said you needed it. Maybe a work related incident or mandate?"
"Your wrong doc. I'm here by choice."
"Really? Well that is quite impressive then. What made you believe you needed therapy?"
Josh runs a hand through his hair thinking and likely trying to dull out a little pain he is feeling.
"Guess you could say it was a girl that made me believe."
"Relationship troubles?"
"Not exactly. You see I met this girl and she is incredible let me tell you. Well we went out on a date and she wanted to find out more about my profession wanted me to teach her some things. Well we went to the gym and worked out for a while, I showed her the ropes and at the end of it all she says the most peculiar thing. She turns to me and says she can't see me until I address my surpressed anger problems. She said she believed I had a lot of hate bottled up and she could see it."
Heinz is scribbling rapidly in his notepad as Josh talks without taking his eyes off of him.
"Josh, may I ask; are you a person who is used to getting what it is they want?"
"Well not given to me no. I fight and work hard to get a lot of things but it's rare I don't get something I want in the end."
"Is that why you are here then? Are you here because you want this girl and you figure if you visit a therapist then you can say you tried and maybe win her?"
"The thought had crossed my mind to be honest, but I think she has a valid point. I do have a lot of anger inside me and I am not sure why it is that I do."
Heinz stops writing in his journal and leans back staring at Josh. He removes his glasses and cleans them giving himself a moment to think.
"I noticed that you are a person that is very fixated on titles. I'm not talking about the kind you win in your ring, but the kind people give you."
"How do you get that? We've been talking for all of a couple minutes here."
"Well when I asked what you did you instantly pointed out that you were a champion within your company. You could have said a professional wrestler, but you wanted me to know that you are the best at what you do. You were either seeking my approval or seeking to intimidate me, I choose to go with the former as I pose no threat to you."
Josh nods and looks at the Doctor clearly thinking through what he said.
"Do you find the need to seek approval a lot Josh?"
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
"In your everyday life do you find that you seek the approval of others, that you are always striving to be at the top and widely considered by others as great?"
"Well yeah I guess, but I mean that's part of my business part of being a wrestler. It's about being the best that you can be and getting to the top of the foodchain."
Heinz jots a few things down, nodding as Eagles talks and even smiling a little bit.
"Is that really what it's about? Or maybe is it about the thrill of the competition? Could you harbor a desire to inflict pain that you see wrestling as the only way you can express that and get away with it? Or possibly even is it just about being in the spotlight?"
"I'm not a psycho Doc!"
"I didn't imply that you are. The want to inflict pain is a natural thing. We all have issues that we deal with everyday and sometimes they are over whelming. You put yourself in a position where those issues are even greater where people physically assault you even outside of competition."
Josh sneers clearly unimpressed by what Heinz is saying or not caring in the least.
"You can sneer or smirk all you want but it won't change the facts of what I am saying. Take the average person with the average stressors for example and compare them to yourself. You live a larger then life style of life. You compete in a world only a handful make it in and you by your accounts seem to do quite well that's a lot of stress to add onto regular stressors plus the abuse."
"Well it so happens I am quite good at taking a good beating."
"I can look at you and see that. I see your cuts and your bruises and I see the facade that you put on in pretending that you are okay. It's okay to be strong but only when you remember that you are weak."
Josh looks at the doctor now extremely confused.
"What kind of cryptic mumbo jumbo is that?"
"Not cryptic Josh, accurate. We can only find our strengths when we can admit our weaknesses. One of yours is your need to please. I can very well guess that you are not well liked in your locker room. You try to be and you want to be but you seem to distance people, that would explain to me why nobody helped when you were attacked."
Josh looks down towards the floor clearly uncomfortable by what Heinz is saying now.
"I get along okay."
"I think your lying a little Josh. You strike me as a person who tries too hard to get to where he is going instead of just being who you want to be. It's probably where a lot of your anger issues are rooted you feel like you fight to make everyone happy but nobody really ends up caring."
"No, now there you are wrong. I fight because of people like Christian Kane who disgrace the company that I work for and people like him for it!"
"Christian Kane? Well tell me a little about this fellow who seems to get your fur up sort to speak."
Josh now stands straight up from his seat and begins to pace around the room clearly frustrated.
"Christian Kane is a piece of crap is what he is! He treats woman like they aren't people, he swears every other word from his mouth, he has an ego that I am surprised allows him to be able to walk still. He believes everyone in the world is below him and he's not afraid to say it to them and above all else, after everything is said and done he is a coward. He will sacrifice a woman or child to save his own hide, he will take advantage of you at your weakest and most vunerable points because he is too scared to take you to your face."
"Well to be fair Josh you described most men in this world when it comes to their work place."
"I've never met anyone like that before!"
"You probably have they just aren't so open about it. It is the masculin instinct to believe we are not only superior to woman but better then those around us. We all use different things to hide behind and we are all willing to attack people when they are most vunerable, maybe not physically but in someway. It's human nature and I think you know that. See everything you said sounds like you are trying to rationalize how you feel."
Josh storms back over and plumps down on the couch and looks at Heinz.
"How do I feel then Doc? Why don't you tell me?"
"Powerless. You feel like nothing you do makes a difference anymore, I believe you feel you lost something that you can't get back and you can't figure out where to channel that anymore and it makes you feel like you've lost your power."
"Lost my power? I'm the Valiant Champion, I'm the top wrestler in all of the KoP. I've lost just twice in my time there and both were tag matches. I've beaten Christian Kane every time we've ever fought in our career! How is that powerless?"
Heinz takes a moment and now sets his notepad down along with his pen and leans forward to meet Josh's gaze.
"Because everything you said is just on the surface. You are talking about physical power while I am talking about emotional power. I am talking about what drives you and that is what you are desperatly searching for. Being a champion is fine and good to you but you want to fight for something greater. You want to mean something and you want people to talk about you and I think that is what you are missing. I think you had it once."
Josh takes every word as though a blow to the face and he leans back on the couch and looks towards the ceiling.
"Tell me Josh what is it you once had that you don't feel you do now? What used to drive you that you are missing?"
"Tala..."
"Sorry Tala? What's a Tala?"
"Not what but who! It's a name I used to go as I wore a mask and back then things were different."
"What was different when you wore this mask?"
"Fear. People not only feared but they respected Tala and what he stood for. When a match was announced against Tala people cringed and they didn't look forward to it, they knew that they were going to lose and that wrath had been brought down on them because of their own actions."
Heinz has now picked up his notepad and is scribbling frantically as he watches Josh talk and stare off into a dream land.
"What actions were those?"
"When I was Tala I fought the unjust. I fought against people who would use or hurt others for their own personal gain and I wouldn't just physically hurt them but I would take them apart mentally piece by piece until there was nothing left."
"Did someone take the mask from you?"
"No, I chose not to wear it anymore. It was consuming me and my life."
"Or you didn't like that fact the name Josh Eagles wasn't in the spotlight anymore."
"Maybe, I dunno that could be it. That was a long time ago now."
Heinz gets up and walks across the room to a pitcher where he pours both himself and Josh a glass of water and walks back across handing it to Josh who takes it and drinks it thankfully.
"Time has no meaning when it comes to feelings. It may have been a long time as time would pass but to you it's still like yesterday. You yearn to have the same feeling that Tala did and you try to do it without being that person."
"Without the mask there is no Tala."
"How so? You were the man under the mask Josh, you were the man making the choices and creating the fear and awe that you said you felt. The people didn't cringe as you say because of a mask, they cringes because of you and what you did."
"Are you saying I can be Tala again?"
"I'm saying you are this Tala. You never stopped because he is a part of you and deep down you know that and something is keeping it buried, something I feel you don't want to tell me. But you can do all the same things without a mask. If you want this Christian Kane to fear you then you make him fear you, do what needs to be done to achieve what you feel you've lost."
Josh stands up and he is looking inspired.
"You're right Doc, I can be that same man ... I am that same man. I've sat around and preached for a long time about being a leader and about fighting hard but in reality I have been a shell just barely getting by and that is why people have laughed at me and under estimated me. They remember the passion and the burning desire I once had, they remember the fear that I instilled. Maybe it's time to send a message that I'm not done yet. I can take Christian Kane and I can make him hurt, I can make him beg, and I can make him cry!"
"Now I will say that I don't condone violence or anger though because those emotions can consume you whole."
"Not when it's for the proper reasons. CK has made a joke of the Kingdom and he has proven that he doesn't deserve to wear this belt. I gave him challenges and he made me ashamed to watch him in the ring and the thought of him representing this company as a champion makes me sick. A coward doesn't deserve to be champion. Once before he was on a list and he trembled before Tala and now I am going to make him tremble before Josh Eagles."
Josh looks at Heinz and gives him a thumbs up.
"You've been a huge help Doc I can't thank you enough."
"Well Josh that maybe it for today but we aren't done here. You still have anger hiding deep in you that you are fighting hard and it's making you weaker then you should be and I don't want to see it come out. We eventually have to get to the bottom of that anger and find a solution to it. But that is for another day."
Josh smiles and nods.
"I agree because right now I can feel anger and I know exactly where I need it to be channeled. Christian Kane is about to see what a Eagles covered fuck looks like and that is going to be me skull fucking his brains right into his goddamn cowardly insides ... pardon my language and all."
Josh smiles at Heinz one more time and then Josh leaves the room at a hurried hobble and looks to be a little more re-joiced then before.
I may have not gotten all the answers I was seeking about myself and I may not like to admit it but a shrink is exactly what I need. But what I did find was a way to drive myself to the next level, a way to motivate myself to a level I've never been before. I was tired of talking and talking and talking about how much I hated Christian Kane and how much he deserved to pay. The thing people liked about me when I was Tala was I didn't talk I just put my thoughts into action and I let people realize they couldn't just do whatever they wanted.
The Kingdom was crumbling and it wasn't just because of the owner's and the UWL it was because everyone was running wild and nobody cared. I felt it was high time that came to an end, I felt it was high time that if you can't lead by example that you lead by force. Christian Kane was going to be the Kingdom's notice that if they didn't get their act together that it was going to be them who paid. But not at the hands of other people or at the hands of foul words ... it would be at the ends of my fists that they would come to realize it was time to nut up or shut up.
Christian Kane! That was the one and only name that floated in my head. In less then a weeks time I was going to step into the ring with Kane and I was going to defend the Valiant Championship against him once more and I had no intention of losing. As a matter of fact I had every intention of hurting Christian Kane and making him pay for his actions. I had given the man a title shot and he had even earned my respect by taking on each and every challenge I set to him and managing to even win most of them, only to try and take the title in the most cowardly way possible. Not only did he try and take the belt in the most cowardly way possible he abandonded the KoP when they needed someone like him to step up. He had left me for dead.
I wasn't a fool. For some reason I was going into this match seen as the underdog, I wasn't liked by the KoP locker room for one reason or another. Maybe having respect for people wasn't the cool thing to do anymore. Maybe being a woman beating, foul mouth, sugar coated, cunt nugget was what a person needed to do to earn the respect of the roster. Well that wasn't someone I was. Josh Eagles, that was a name that took on all comers, fought against the odds no matter what the price and that is what I was going to do at Winter Warfare. I was going to make Christian Kane understand that he had once again messed with the wrong person, that he had once again chose the wrong backyard to go snooping in. For once it was going to be Christian Kane who suffered ...
The scene comes to life and we see Josh Eagles in some casual clothes, a buttoned shirt and a pair of jeans sitting down in what appears to be a waiting room. It isn't your typical waiting room though, it has a carpeted floor, very comfortable looking seats. Josh is just looking around the room waiting to see whomever it is he is here to see when the receptionist behind the desk answers the phone, hangs up and looks his way.
"Mr. Eagles. Dr.Heinz will see you now."
Josh stands up and gives the young girl a nod. He had likely seen prettier but she wouldn't be too bad for a one night rump. As Josh walks towards the door there is a strong limp in his left leg and we can still see bandages and bruises on visible parts of his skin from the beating he suffered just days ago. Josh opens the door and walks in to what can only be called a very stereotypical psych office. Dr. Heinz we can presume is the middle aged man sitting on a couch, his black hair is spotted with gray likely left to add the appearance of dignity to him. He has glasses and looks to be reading from a journal and he looks up and sees Josh and stands up and smiles.
"Ahhh Mr. Eagles I presume. Please come in and have a seat."
Dr. Heinz motions to the couch across from him, not your typical lay down crazy man couch, but just your basic everyday couch. As Josh walks over and takes a seat with a nod Dr. Heinz studies him very closely.
"You appear to be in some distress there Mr. Eagles, may I ask what happened?"
Dr. Heinz clearly of British decent from his accent sits down and we can tell he is a very well spoken and professional man. Not sure how well that is going to fit with a man as out spoken as Josh Eagles.
"I was jumped by one person and then jumped by another person and then who knows how many other people."
"That's dreadful, I'm glad to see your still able to walk and breathe. Have the police laid any charges?"
Josh gives a little chuckle which forces him to wince in pain and grab his ribs where clearly there is an injury he is not showing.
"No it's all part of my job. The police can't really do anything about this."
Dr. Heinz raises an eyebrow and furrows his face into a quizzical expression.
"What job could you possible have that the police can't get involved in a mugging?"
"It wasn't a mugging, it was called message sending. I'm a professional wrestler and a champion in my company to boot, this is an every week kind of thing."
Dr. Heinz now seems to be studying Josh in a very different light knowing his profession may have changed whatever it was he was thinking.
"Well I still believe that is dreadful and ludacris that you stay in this position and career line but that is not for me to judge. Josh may I ask why you are here to see me? Also before it comes out I am quite sure like most you will say you don't want to be here but someone said you needed it. Maybe a work related incident or mandate?"
"Your wrong doc. I'm here by choice."
"Really? Well that is quite impressive then. What made you believe you needed therapy?"
Josh runs a hand through his hair thinking and likely trying to dull out a little pain he is feeling.
"Guess you could say it was a girl that made me believe."
"Relationship troubles?"
"Not exactly. You see I met this girl and she is incredible let me tell you. Well we went out on a date and she wanted to find out more about my profession wanted me to teach her some things. Well we went to the gym and worked out for a while, I showed her the ropes and at the end of it all she says the most peculiar thing. She turns to me and says she can't see me until I address my surpressed anger problems. She said she believed I had a lot of hate bottled up and she could see it."
Heinz is scribbling rapidly in his notepad as Josh talks without taking his eyes off of him.
"Josh, may I ask; are you a person who is used to getting what it is they want?"
"Well not given to me no. I fight and work hard to get a lot of things but it's rare I don't get something I want in the end."
"Is that why you are here then? Are you here because you want this girl and you figure if you visit a therapist then you can say you tried and maybe win her?"
"The thought had crossed my mind to be honest, but I think she has a valid point. I do have a lot of anger inside me and I am not sure why it is that I do."
Heinz stops writing in his journal and leans back staring at Josh. He removes his glasses and cleans them giving himself a moment to think.
"I noticed that you are a person that is very fixated on titles. I'm not talking about the kind you win in your ring, but the kind people give you."
"How do you get that? We've been talking for all of a couple minutes here."
"Well when I asked what you did you instantly pointed out that you were a champion within your company. You could have said a professional wrestler, but you wanted me to know that you are the best at what you do. You were either seeking my approval or seeking to intimidate me, I choose to go with the former as I pose no threat to you."
Josh nods and looks at the Doctor clearly thinking through what he said.
"Do you find the need to seek approval a lot Josh?"
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
"In your everyday life do you find that you seek the approval of others, that you are always striving to be at the top and widely considered by others as great?"
"Well yeah I guess, but I mean that's part of my business part of being a wrestler. It's about being the best that you can be and getting to the top of the foodchain."
Heinz jots a few things down, nodding as Eagles talks and even smiling a little bit.
"Is that really what it's about? Or maybe is it about the thrill of the competition? Could you harbor a desire to inflict pain that you see wrestling as the only way you can express that and get away with it? Or possibly even is it just about being in the spotlight?"
"I'm not a psycho Doc!"
"I didn't imply that you are. The want to inflict pain is a natural thing. We all have issues that we deal with everyday and sometimes they are over whelming. You put yourself in a position where those issues are even greater where people physically assault you even outside of competition."
Josh sneers clearly unimpressed by what Heinz is saying or not caring in the least.
"You can sneer or smirk all you want but it won't change the facts of what I am saying. Take the average person with the average stressors for example and compare them to yourself. You live a larger then life style of life. You compete in a world only a handful make it in and you by your accounts seem to do quite well that's a lot of stress to add onto regular stressors plus the abuse."
"Well it so happens I am quite good at taking a good beating."
"I can look at you and see that. I see your cuts and your bruises and I see the facade that you put on in pretending that you are okay. It's okay to be strong but only when you remember that you are weak."
Josh looks at the doctor now extremely confused.
"What kind of cryptic mumbo jumbo is that?"
"Not cryptic Josh, accurate. We can only find our strengths when we can admit our weaknesses. One of yours is your need to please. I can very well guess that you are not well liked in your locker room. You try to be and you want to be but you seem to distance people, that would explain to me why nobody helped when you were attacked."
Josh looks down towards the floor clearly uncomfortable by what Heinz is saying now.
"I get along okay."
"I think your lying a little Josh. You strike me as a person who tries too hard to get to where he is going instead of just being who you want to be. It's probably where a lot of your anger issues are rooted you feel like you fight to make everyone happy but nobody really ends up caring."
"No, now there you are wrong. I fight because of people like Christian Kane who disgrace the company that I work for and people like him for it!"
"Christian Kane? Well tell me a little about this fellow who seems to get your fur up sort to speak."
Josh now stands straight up from his seat and begins to pace around the room clearly frustrated.
"Christian Kane is a piece of crap is what he is! He treats woman like they aren't people, he swears every other word from his mouth, he has an ego that I am surprised allows him to be able to walk still. He believes everyone in the world is below him and he's not afraid to say it to them and above all else, after everything is said and done he is a coward. He will sacrifice a woman or child to save his own hide, he will take advantage of you at your weakest and most vunerable points because he is too scared to take you to your face."
"Well to be fair Josh you described most men in this world when it comes to their work place."
"I've never met anyone like that before!"
"You probably have they just aren't so open about it. It is the masculin instinct to believe we are not only superior to woman but better then those around us. We all use different things to hide behind and we are all willing to attack people when they are most vunerable, maybe not physically but in someway. It's human nature and I think you know that. See everything you said sounds like you are trying to rationalize how you feel."
Josh storms back over and plumps down on the couch and looks at Heinz.
"How do I feel then Doc? Why don't you tell me?"
"Powerless. You feel like nothing you do makes a difference anymore, I believe you feel you lost something that you can't get back and you can't figure out where to channel that anymore and it makes you feel like you've lost your power."
"Lost my power? I'm the Valiant Champion, I'm the top wrestler in all of the KoP. I've lost just twice in my time there and both were tag matches. I've beaten Christian Kane every time we've ever fought in our career! How is that powerless?"
Heinz takes a moment and now sets his notepad down along with his pen and leans forward to meet Josh's gaze.
"Because everything you said is just on the surface. You are talking about physical power while I am talking about emotional power. I am talking about what drives you and that is what you are desperatly searching for. Being a champion is fine and good to you but you want to fight for something greater. You want to mean something and you want people to talk about you and I think that is what you are missing. I think you had it once."
Josh takes every word as though a blow to the face and he leans back on the couch and looks towards the ceiling.
"Tell me Josh what is it you once had that you don't feel you do now? What used to drive you that you are missing?"
"Tala..."
"Sorry Tala? What's a Tala?"
"Not what but who! It's a name I used to go as I wore a mask and back then things were different."
"What was different when you wore this mask?"
"Fear. People not only feared but they respected Tala and what he stood for. When a match was announced against Tala people cringed and they didn't look forward to it, they knew that they were going to lose and that wrath had been brought down on them because of their own actions."
Heinz has now picked up his notepad and is scribbling frantically as he watches Josh talk and stare off into a dream land.
"What actions were those?"
"When I was Tala I fought the unjust. I fought against people who would use or hurt others for their own personal gain and I wouldn't just physically hurt them but I would take them apart mentally piece by piece until there was nothing left."
"Did someone take the mask from you?"
"No, I chose not to wear it anymore. It was consuming me and my life."
"Or you didn't like that fact the name Josh Eagles wasn't in the spotlight anymore."
"Maybe, I dunno that could be it. That was a long time ago now."
Heinz gets up and walks across the room to a pitcher where he pours both himself and Josh a glass of water and walks back across handing it to Josh who takes it and drinks it thankfully.
"Time has no meaning when it comes to feelings. It may have been a long time as time would pass but to you it's still like yesterday. You yearn to have the same feeling that Tala did and you try to do it without being that person."
"Without the mask there is no Tala."
"How so? You were the man under the mask Josh, you were the man making the choices and creating the fear and awe that you said you felt. The people didn't cringe as you say because of a mask, they cringes because of you and what you did."
"Are you saying I can be Tala again?"
"I'm saying you are this Tala. You never stopped because he is a part of you and deep down you know that and something is keeping it buried, something I feel you don't want to tell me. But you can do all the same things without a mask. If you want this Christian Kane to fear you then you make him fear you, do what needs to be done to achieve what you feel you've lost."
Josh stands up and he is looking inspired.
"You're right Doc, I can be that same man ... I am that same man. I've sat around and preached for a long time about being a leader and about fighting hard but in reality I have been a shell just barely getting by and that is why people have laughed at me and under estimated me. They remember the passion and the burning desire I once had, they remember the fear that I instilled. Maybe it's time to send a message that I'm not done yet. I can take Christian Kane and I can make him hurt, I can make him beg, and I can make him cry!"
"Now I will say that I don't condone violence or anger though because those emotions can consume you whole."
"Not when it's for the proper reasons. CK has made a joke of the Kingdom and he has proven that he doesn't deserve to wear this belt. I gave him challenges and he made me ashamed to watch him in the ring and the thought of him representing this company as a champion makes me sick. A coward doesn't deserve to be champion. Once before he was on a list and he trembled before Tala and now I am going to make him tremble before Josh Eagles."
Josh looks at Heinz and gives him a thumbs up.
"You've been a huge help Doc I can't thank you enough."
"Well Josh that maybe it for today but we aren't done here. You still have anger hiding deep in you that you are fighting hard and it's making you weaker then you should be and I don't want to see it come out. We eventually have to get to the bottom of that anger and find a solution to it. But that is for another day."
Josh smiles and nods.
"I agree because right now I can feel anger and I know exactly where I need it to be channeled. Christian Kane is about to see what a Eagles covered fuck looks like and that is going to be me skull fucking his brains right into his goddamn cowardly insides ... pardon my language and all."
Josh smiles at Heinz one more time and then Josh leaves the room at a hurried hobble and looks to be a little more re-joiced then before.
I may have not gotten all the answers I was seeking about myself and I may not like to admit it but a shrink is exactly what I need. But what I did find was a way to drive myself to the next level, a way to motivate myself to a level I've never been before. I was tired of talking and talking and talking about how much I hated Christian Kane and how much he deserved to pay. The thing people liked about me when I was Tala was I didn't talk I just put my thoughts into action and I let people realize they couldn't just do whatever they wanted.
The Kingdom was crumbling and it wasn't just because of the owner's and the UWL it was because everyone was running wild and nobody cared. I felt it was high time that came to an end, I felt it was high time that if you can't lead by example that you lead by force. Christian Kane was going to be the Kingdom's notice that if they didn't get their act together that it was going to be them who paid. But not at the hands of other people or at the hands of foul words ... it would be at the ends of my fists that they would come to realize it was time to nut up or shut up.
