Bring It Feedback

[Adam Abel]

www.pridewrestling22.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=oblivionroleplays&action=display&thread=2141

Much shorter read than last week. Not as much character stuff but with a little storyline progression (Damn that Pete and his ill intentions!)

What do you think? I also tried a little more descriptive writing...did it work? Did it fall short?

I am just trying something a little new so I just want some thoughts. Thanks to all for reading as always!

["The Divine Chaos" Galen Ronan]

I certainly liked it this week, Adam. A slight improvement over last week, in my opinion at least.

The improved detail is a nice touch, though that might just be my opinion (I'd imagine some like getting straight to the dialogue. )

The character development was present and worked well, and it blended excellently with the match relevance, it wasn't like there was someone pulling a lever from 'Relevant' to 'Development' if you know what I mean.

As for it being shorter, don't worry about that - it was very well-done, and the only real important criticism I have is that it's damn near impossible to read some of the lines due to coloration (mainly any line in yellow.)

EDIT: Ooh, you changed the colours now you sneaky monkey.

[Adam Abel]

Yellow?!? What yellow?

>_>

<_<

I changed it.