Alphabetic Standards A - K

[Dru Tha Merc]

“Raised by gangstas and gamblers, hustlers, con artists and convicts, killers and dons.
Drug dealers, playas and pimps, smooth talkers, stick up kids, thugs, real niggas and gods.” – Rakim

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Dru Tha Merc, or Dru Dallins these days it seems to have come to pass, is sitting… Sitting with Writer’s Block. Tonight, he has a match with a man by the name of Jason Phoenix. However, last week, he had proven his mettle, proven he could hang with the big names, when he put the handle on Josh Eagles. He’d made Eagles eat crow, clipped Eagles’ wings, whatever sort of cute avian metaphor you could throw out there, he had accomplished it. At least, you can assume it, correct?

Niles took a seat beside him, pulling up a chair and putting down a paper plate filled with an assortment of meats, cheeses, and crackers, as well as a wine-glass filled with some wine-garlic sauce, and a ring of shrimp hanging off the rim. I guess to Niles that was what you called ‘good living’. The camera zoomed in on the two of them as Niles pulled his sunglasses down to speak to Dru.

Niles: Unapologetically unapologetic. That’s how you treated Josh Eagles last week. You put a beat down on him the likes of which hasn’t been seen since… Well, it hasn’t been seen for a while now. But now we have a new opponent, Dru… A man who is similar in fashion to a bird. However, we need to do something… I think musical.

Musically musical. Haven’t done that and a while so…

Niles turns his attention to the camera and smirks.

Niles: This is called Alphabet Attack. I’m gonna call out a letter in the alphabet, and Dru here is gonna do a short rap on it. You Av-whatever your name is! Make a beat.

Alex looks around, realizing he’s being called out to be a human… Beatbox of all things. None the less, he gets into it… And there goes the backstage reporter, making a nasty beat.

Niles: A!

Dru: Accentuated acclaim, arrayed array,
Accosted accolade, like accomplished again.
Attested apparatus, always attack us.
Arguing and attacking against ankles,
Aim and aggress around all angles.
Agnes ain’t allowed for appreciation,
And aghast association.
Ardent accosting also aggravates,
Avenger Adam Phoenix again aggregates!

Niles: B!

Dru: Barricading buckshot bombing bravely,
Bombastic bag-man busting body basically.
Bread bowl blocked by,
Brother Brian blowing buck.
Blue blazes bringing blazers but,
Breaking out the Buick.
Bugging-out, broham, Brahman, Beluga.
Bring ‘bout bombtrack, big busta Buddha.
Bitumen bahtiman, breakin’ big bats,
Bats bring batman like bytes bring bits.

Niles C!

Dru: Chlamydia clutched cunt culling,
Cold crispy, crusty, cocks.
Crude, clammy cocksuckers could
Catch cool coldcocked.
Calamari cutter, callous with conniptions,
Can't collapse a call cause can't "C" Cal Ripken.
Crunch co-signed, co-oped, co-written calamities,
Come catch cruel contraptions coolly callously.

Niles: D!

Dru: Derelict, depression dousing decisions,
Don't dilly-dally down dissing derisions,
Dagg, dawg do or die, dick don't destress,
Deficient, despised dummy, do you dress?
Deleted dumb-dums dummy dock & degrade.
Delicious donka-donk don't deny deserted days.
Dougies and Dagwoods don’t deny Dru’s distinction.
Deflate doomed dunks and dip dude, Do I dare?
Drug deals done disgracefully, down your derriere@

Niles: E!

Dru: Elitist effeminate egotist entitled Eagles,
Especially expressively endeavored ergo,
Evil eczema event emphatically ego,
Esteemed essays enraptured like Eggo,
Eli even ever evilly extended like ECHO-ECHO-ECHO!

Niles: F!

Dru: Failure, fallout for frumpy Fräuleins frisky,
Falling fireball flambé flabbergasted fools freely.
Forehands and foremen flinging feces with folly,
Fall from the full fairs for fundamental Foley.
Fist funds for felonies and future fortunes,
Ferguson flaps his freakin’funstick with fecund.

Niles: G!

Dru: Goldar got gotted, grip like Gotti,
Gold gulch grasped got girls goin’ “God, Geez, Groody!”
Got Gs, goin’ geez by gallons of Gatorade,
Gutterskanks gut n’ ganks galled and gored glades.
Gumption, grumpy geezers gun-tottin’, grenades,
Green-Eyed glock grippers goal good grades,
Growling goats got greedy, grisly guttin’ greats.

Niles: H!

Dru: Hold-outs, Hide-outs, Hyde holds horrifically,
Husks of heartless heathens horned and homed harmoniously,
Hallowed halls, hysterically, hollowed out heroically,
Hinted hints hormonally hoes holding H.O.V.A. heretically.
Hylian Hyrule’s hopes hot hellions, heinously,
Humping her hips, holding hormones, hotly, hellaciously!

Niles: I!

Dru: interconnected, iPods inter illusions,
Infer inter infernal, interconnected Illidian.
Internal, impersonal, indescribable n’ irregular,
iPads to iPhones to impressive instigators!

Niles: J!

Dru: Johnny-Law, John-Does, just jokin’ jabronis,
Jabberwocky n’ jabberjaws jackin’ just like J-Loni.
Jackknife Just Joes justly with justice,
Jump jump-rope and jurors jail juries.
Jury, or Juri just jack and just jump,
Jail-time jagged jugs jut justly jerk!
Johns, Jasons, and Joshs, jeez jackasses,
Justly joke justice jackin’ tha Jurassic!

Niles: K!

Dru: KKK-Killer, Kryptonite King Kongs,
Kingdom killers kite like Kangaroo kung!
Kay-Marie, Karlas and Kristas, or Kombat,
Kempten down Kempton and Kettle Kook Kat –

Niles: Alright chill, Dru, chill! I think we got the message across. Dru Tha Merc, is good with words, and birdies, believe Dru Dallins is bad with birds. Phoenix, it’s more than a movement, be in tune with it.

These week. The Phoenix will not rise. Bring the pain!

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To Be Continued…