Justin Kaards Feeback Topic

[Silence]

So I've posted my first official KoP rp. I'd like to know what folks think.

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Tom,

Same old shit, good to see you join etc. etc.

The role play wasn’t bad but I don’t think it was the best work you can put out. It felt harried in a way, like you were rushing to get something up (which is perfectly understandable, all things considered.) I still like Buffy more, he was pure class but there were some things here to comment on.

First, Kaards a real man, taking his Whiskey straight. I think the bar setting worked really well, it showed what had happened to Kaard since his loss to the big fella and what he was going to basically be without wrestling, a degenerate bum. I also liked his reaction to being asked back to wrestle, that part felt very genuine in that he had lost so much, Storm had basically crushed his will to do what he loved. It really built him up without mentioning him by name.

That said, I didn’t necessarily like Kurt coming to the bar to find Kaard, with a week left to go. I understand it’s literary purpose but realistically it makes no sense. I think Justin replaying a telephone conversation in his head would work better, and be a lot more realistic considering the mass alcohol content. Nor did I like the kayfabe breaking when you said “feed to the monster and let him win.” It could’ve easily been re-phrased to avoid that.

The second part was also good, it showed the change in Kaard from the first portion and re-established him as a face instead of a loser. The off handed comment actually being the match was quite clever, even had me chuckling. The reaction was exactly as I expected, though I feel there was a lot there that you left untouched, which I think was the reason it seemed so harried. It was over before it really could’ve started in a sense.

All in all, it was definitely deserving of the win in my opinion, but I don’t think it would’ve held up against someone like Eagles or Myself, two people you’ll have to face down the line. I know you’re better brother and I can’t wait to see your top work from you.