Post by Trav McBang! on Apr 16, 2011 22:58:04 GMT -5
*Kingdom of Pride is over. Although it is a sad note, several of the roster members are doing their best to make the fans feel appreciated one last time. Eric Valor is one of those roster members. He arrived at the arena three hours early and set up a table near the entrance. In time that could be spent preparing for his bloody war with Obscene, Valor has decided that giving back to the fans is more important.
On Valor’s table sits a bowl of Kit Kats, in various flavors because Japanese candy kicks fucking ass. Next to the bowl are a stack of glossy photos featuring Pride’s favorite new superstar. Valor is working away, signing them with a personal note or funny quip for each fan. As he hands a strawberry shortcake Kit Kat to a little girl, as well as an autographed photo reading “Never google Jeff Charisma,” Valor’s eyes drift upward to see the next fan in line. Alex Avice.*
Alex Avice: Can I grab one of those?
*Valor smirks and takes a photo from the pile, keeping the conversation going as he signs it.*
Eric Valor: I thought you were supposed to remain impartial.
Alex Avice: I am…but what are they going to do? Fire me? Pride’s closing in just a few hours. Does it really matter at this point?
Eric Valor: I guess you have a point, A-Two.
Alex Avice: So, worried about this barbed wire match tonight?
Eric Valor: On the record or off?
Alex Avice: Do you see a microphone?
*Valor checks and….nahdude. Avice is microphone and camera free. Huh.*
Eric Valor: Fair enough…Not gonna lie, A-Two. It’s a little daunting. I’ve barely got my feet wet in the kiddy pool of Pride and now the owners are asking me to bleed for the amusement of…
*Valor randomly motions to everything around him…as if to say “something around this place”*
Alex Avice: You don’t have to do it, you know…
Eric Valor: Bleed? The match involves barbed wire, A-Two. If there’s a way to get out of that without bloodshed, feel free to let me know. I’m fairly sure I could wear a bomb suit and still get pricked through the Kevlar.
Alex Avice: Well, not bleeding per say. But the match in general…Hell, you could pack this up and fly back to Seattle right now and what could Kurt and Jeremy do? Pride’s going under, Eric…why put your body through this?
Eric Valor: Because I’m a moron, A-Two. I grew up wanting to be a wrestler…and look at me now. I succeeded despite better judgment. I get my ass kicked for a living. Even when I grab a win, I still leave the ring hurting in some way. But for some unexplainable reason…this is what I do. So, despite what my mind is saying, I’m going in that ring and fighting Obscene tonight…bleeding profusely in the process.
Alex Avice: That doesn’t make any sense, Eric. If it’s so bad, why do you do it?
Eric Valor: Why? A-Two, c’mon…you’ve been around the business. I’ll give you the same answer nearly anyone would…I do it for the fans. I do it for little Jimmy, sitting in the front row and living vicariously through his favorite performers. I do it for the old men who’ve spent their lives watching all of wrestling’s greats, attending the show to see one last slobberknocker of a match. I do it for the girls who like watching attractive men with their shirts off…but don’t get me wrong, that also has its own set of perks. I can’t just NOT wrestle on Pride’s last show…or else I’m letting all those people who truly care down.
Alex Avice: Well, if that’s the way you feel, who am I to stop you?
*Avice turns to see a small kid behind him, around 8 years of age.*
Alex Avice: Hey, kid…you excited for the show tonight?
Kid: Heck yeah! I can’t wait!
Alex Avice: What do you think about Obscene and Eric Valor?
Kid: Oh my God, it’s gonna be awesome! There’s going to be blood! And weapons! And Valor’s going to kick that guy’s butt!
*Avice nods quaintly and turns away from the kid before he has like…a candy induced seizure or something.*
Eric Valor: See what I mean?
Alex Avice: Guess I do, Eric. Good luck out there tonight…and try not to do anything too stupid.
Eric Valor: I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises…after all, I’m Eric Valor.
Alex Avice: My popcorn’s been ready for months…see ya around, Eric.
*Avice takes his signed photo, as well as a blueberry Kit Kat. He looks down at what is sure to be one of his favorite wrestling mementos…to see Valor’s message to him.*
To the best interview-buddy a man could ask for,
Game Time. One More Time. Peace be the journey, A-Two.
Eric Valor – Your Favorite Wrestler
On Valor’s table sits a bowl of Kit Kats, in various flavors because Japanese candy kicks fucking ass. Next to the bowl are a stack of glossy photos featuring Pride’s favorite new superstar. Valor is working away, signing them with a personal note or funny quip for each fan. As he hands a strawberry shortcake Kit Kat to a little girl, as well as an autographed photo reading “Never google Jeff Charisma,” Valor’s eyes drift upward to see the next fan in line. Alex Avice.*
Alex Avice: Can I grab one of those?
*Valor smirks and takes a photo from the pile, keeping the conversation going as he signs it.*
Eric Valor: I thought you were supposed to remain impartial.
Alex Avice: I am…but what are they going to do? Fire me? Pride’s closing in just a few hours. Does it really matter at this point?
Eric Valor: I guess you have a point, A-Two.
Alex Avice: So, worried about this barbed wire match tonight?
Eric Valor: On the record or off?
Alex Avice: Do you see a microphone?
*Valor checks and….nahdude. Avice is microphone and camera free. Huh.*
Eric Valor: Fair enough…Not gonna lie, A-Two. It’s a little daunting. I’ve barely got my feet wet in the kiddy pool of Pride and now the owners are asking me to bleed for the amusement of…
*Valor randomly motions to everything around him…as if to say “something around this place”*
Alex Avice: You don’t have to do it, you know…
Eric Valor: Bleed? The match involves barbed wire, A-Two. If there’s a way to get out of that without bloodshed, feel free to let me know. I’m fairly sure I could wear a bomb suit and still get pricked through the Kevlar.
Alex Avice: Well, not bleeding per say. But the match in general…Hell, you could pack this up and fly back to Seattle right now and what could Kurt and Jeremy do? Pride’s going under, Eric…why put your body through this?
Eric Valor: Because I’m a moron, A-Two. I grew up wanting to be a wrestler…and look at me now. I succeeded despite better judgment. I get my ass kicked for a living. Even when I grab a win, I still leave the ring hurting in some way. But for some unexplainable reason…this is what I do. So, despite what my mind is saying, I’m going in that ring and fighting Obscene tonight…bleeding profusely in the process.
Alex Avice: That doesn’t make any sense, Eric. If it’s so bad, why do you do it?
Eric Valor: Why? A-Two, c’mon…you’ve been around the business. I’ll give you the same answer nearly anyone would…I do it for the fans. I do it for little Jimmy, sitting in the front row and living vicariously through his favorite performers. I do it for the old men who’ve spent their lives watching all of wrestling’s greats, attending the show to see one last slobberknocker of a match. I do it for the girls who like watching attractive men with their shirts off…but don’t get me wrong, that also has its own set of perks. I can’t just NOT wrestle on Pride’s last show…or else I’m letting all those people who truly care down.
Alex Avice: Well, if that’s the way you feel, who am I to stop you?
*Avice turns to see a small kid behind him, around 8 years of age.*
Alex Avice: Hey, kid…you excited for the show tonight?
Kid: Heck yeah! I can’t wait!
Alex Avice: What do you think about Obscene and Eric Valor?
Kid: Oh my God, it’s gonna be awesome! There’s going to be blood! And weapons! And Valor’s going to kick that guy’s butt!
*Avice nods quaintly and turns away from the kid before he has like…a candy induced seizure or something.*
Eric Valor: See what I mean?
Alex Avice: Guess I do, Eric. Good luck out there tonight…and try not to do anything too stupid.
Eric Valor: I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises…after all, I’m Eric Valor.
Alex Avice: My popcorn’s been ready for months…see ya around, Eric.
*Avice takes his signed photo, as well as a blueberry Kit Kat. He looks down at what is sure to be one of his favorite wrestling mementos…to see Valor’s message to him.*
To the best interview-buddy a man could ask for,
Game Time. One More Time. Peace be the journey, A-Two.
Eric Valor – Your Favorite Wrestler