KoP Presents: Pride, Honor, & Valiant II

[Kirk Noble]

The end is here.

The Kingdom of Pride first began in 2007, a small indy federation intend on providing pure wrestling. The promotion was founded by Jeremy Sterling, who ran it successfully for a year, before the promotion closed its doors.

In 2009, the Kingdom of Pride saw a revival that was buried in controversy. It quickly closed, and was thought to be dead forever.

That wasn't the case.

8 months ago, the Kingdom of Pride saw a revival under Jeremy Sterling and Kurt Noble, who ran it until this night. Tonight, Pride unveils its final show, and would like to thank all that have participated over the years. This is for you.

This is Pride, Honor, & Valiance II.

[Kirk Noble]

*The lights in the arena go out completely, shrouding the crowd in darkness. The opening riff of "Tom Sawyer" hits and a trio of blue spotlights begin to circle the cheering crowd. Another blue light illuminates the entrance way as Eric Valor steps out, wearing his sunglasses and holding his arms in the air for the cheering crowd. He slaps the hands of the fans on his way down the aisle, stopping at the end of it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls of a small candy bar, handing it to a nearby child. The crowd applauds as Valor gets into the ring, avoiding the barbed wire roping and the lights go back to normal.*

Ike Rose: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, and will be contested under Barbed Wire Ropes Rules! Introducing first, from Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 223 pounds, Eric Valor!

"Never Understand" by The Jesus and Mary Chain starts to play and immediately the fans let Obscene know where he stands with a chorus of thunderous boos. Wearing a plain white t-shirt and black jeans, he walks down the ramp, shooting malicious looks at the front row. After he reaches the ring and climbs the steps, he gets in and backs into a corner. He wears a self-satisfied smirk as the crowd continue to boo.

Ike Rose: And his opponent, he is a former Kingdom of Pride Valiant champion as well as a former Kingdom of Pride Scramble champion, he hails from Monterrey, Mexico, weighing in at 190 pounds, Obscene!

Keith Oswalt: Well Eric, it’s time for the last opening match in Kingdom of Pride history.

Eric Witz: Maybe.

Keith Oswalt: No, I think Jeremy has made it clear that he is finally closing the book on KoP, this time once and for all. It’s not always been great working with you, but I’ve had a blast with this company.

Eric Witz: It’s been a roller coaster ride for the past five years, lots of ups and plenty of downs, but I think it is time for it to come to an end now.

Keith Oswalt: Well that’s it for the sadness, lets get ready for this barbaric, bloody massacre!

Eric Witz: That’s a hell of a transition.

As the bell is rang, Obscene looks across the ring at Eric Valor. Leaning his hands back, Obscene grabs the wire in between barbs, smiling. It’s been a while since he’s been in a match such as this, in a barbaric ring that he considers a home. Now releasing his grip on the barbed wire, Obscene dashes over to Eric Valor and grabs him with a tie up. Sure to not allow himself to be rushed into the barbed wire, Eric Valor stands firm, embraces the tie up and pushes Obscene back into the middle of the ring. Standing here, the two begin to exchange holds, Valor putting Obscene into an arm wringer, but Obscene countering out and getting Valor in a hammer lock. Finally, Obscene counters this and flips around Valor mocking a hammerlock, before instead spinning Valor back around behind him and snapping him over his head with a snapmare. Hopping back up to his feet, Obscene rockets off a kick, landing it flat in Valor’s back.

Holding his back, Valor scurries back up to his feet, but can’t escape Obscene as Obscene chases after him and hits him with a forearm smash. Following this, Valor is lifted up and turned around to take an elbow smash to the face. Finally, with enough distance created between the two, Obscene jumps up and hits Valor with a dropkick. The dropkick has enough strength to send Valor back into the barbed wire ropes, however Valor hits them gently enough to prevent any of the barbs from gashing him open. Breathing heavily after having his body torn open, Valor turns his back around to look at Obscene, and at this instance Obscene leaps up and goes for another dropkick, but thinking quickly, Valor swats Obscene away! Exhaling with glee that he wasn’t thrown into the barbed wire. Looking back at Obscene now, Eric Valor jumps atop of him and begins to continuously stomping him, attempting to wear him down.

After numerous stomps to Obscene’s back, Valor finally lifts Obscene up to his feet and nails him in the face with a forearm. Knocking Obscene back a step, Valor grins as he looks at the crowd now and nods, grabbing Obscene’s arm and throwing him past him, however at the last second, Obscene halts right before hitting the barbed wire, turns around and as soon as Valor turns around to see the damage he caused, Obscene leaps up and hit’s a hurricanrana on Eric Valor, throwing him back first into the barbed wire!

Keith Oswalt: Valor slams into the demonic wiring!

Eric Witz: His back is pouring blood!

Keith Oswalt: Well, it’s actually more of just a trickle, nothing too major yet.

Eric Witz: So much for our radio listeners, they were totally just stripped of any major action.

Keith Oswalt: We’re on radio? Wait, wrestling is on the radio?

Eric Witz: I <3 Radio Mofo!

Keith Oswalt: I apologize to our radio listeners for having to listen to Eric.

Pulling his body out of the thorns, Eric Valor feels the blood trickle down his back from the open wound. Holding the wound, Valor looks at Obscene now and rushes at him, a fit of anger coming over him as he tackles Obscene to the ground with a lariat. Pulling Obscene back up to his feet, Valor now throws a brutal punch to his face before spinning Obscene around and slamming him into the mat with a full nelson slam. Not letting Obscene rest, Valor lifts Obscene back up to his feet and now Irish whips Obscene into the ropes, allowing Obscene to crash his back completely into the barbed wire.

Still enraged that he’s bleeding, Eric Valor throws caution to the wind as he now runs towards Obscene and nails him with a running dropkick, allowing the barbs to dig further into Obscene’s back! Following this sickening dropkick, Eric Valor finally, exercising extreme caution, exit’s the barbed wire surrounded ring and grabs a kendo stick from underneath the ring! Grinning, Valor now slides back into the ring, just barely sliding under the barbed wire. With Obscene beginning to pull himself out of the barbed wire mess, Valor grins as he now swings viciously at Obscene and clocks him in the stomach with the kendo stick! Forcing Obscene to bend over with the strike, Obscene’s back is ripped out of the barbs, opening gashes in his back. Taking no mercy with Obscene, Valor slams the kendo stick down over his back, taking Obscene down to the mat.

With Obscene laying on the mat, Valor now kicks him over and goes for a quick cover on Obscene,

1...

Kick out!

Keith Oswalt: A kick out at one! Even after being thrown into the barbed wire and having a kendo stick nearly snapped over his back, Obscene seems just as resilient as ever!

Eric Valor: This is an environment where Obscene is most comfortable, the twisted dude loves pain.

Keith Oswalt: As of right now, he’s sure being dished a lot of pain, Eric Valor is in total control.

In utter disbelief that he only got a one count, Valor shakes his head at Obscene before ripping him up off the mat. However, in an even more surprising display, Obscene takes advantage here and punches Valor in the face before grabbing him by the back of the head and slamming Valor face first into Obscene’s own knee. Now releasing Valor’s face, Obscene has a sadistic thought as he now takes Valor by the face and drags him to the barbed wire rope. Wasting no time in entertaining the crowd with this thought, Obscene drags Valor’s forehead across the barbed wire ropes, slicing it open and allowing blood to pour down his face.

Grinning at seeing his opponent a bloody mess, Obscene grins as Valor holds his forehead, but before Obscene can react, Valor turns the tide by kneeing Obscene in the stomach and now dragging Obscene’s forehead across the barbed wire, slicing it open equally as bad. Following this, the two men, both feeling a burn from having their forehead ripped open, stare angrily at each other and get face to face. Obscene finally goes on the physical and elbows Valor in the face before whipping him across the ring into the ropes. Chasing after Valor, Obscene is surprised to see Valor hit the barbed wire and instead of stopping in the barbs, hits them like ring ropes and bounces back at Obscene and nails Obscene with a bicycle kick!

Falling to the mat, Obscene lands on his back hard, but Valor doesn’t halt his momentum, instead he lifts Obscene back up and now throws Obscene into the corner where two barbs of barbed wire join. Grinning as he looks at the corner, Valor finally sprints across the ring and nails Obscene with the Cannonball Spear (Corner Senton Splash)! Slamming Obscene’s back further against the barbed wire, Eric Valor grins as he now rips Obscene again out of the barbed wire but this time lifts Obscene over his head and hangs Obscene’s calf’s on the barbed wire rope, allowing the thorns to dig into his calf’s as he heads over across the ring.

Sprinting across the ring, Eric Valor screams as the crowd gets to his feet to see Valor leap from half way across the ring and go for a hesitate dropkick, but at the last second, showing sheer determination, Obscene pulls his body up on the barbed wire ropes allowing Eric Valor to slide through the ropes, slicing his back wide open in the process of falling to the floor! Having a long laceration across his back, Eric Valor holds his back on the outside of the floor, temporarily forgetting about Obscene. Not to be forgotten for long, however, Obscene gets up to his feet and standing on the two slowly bending and breaking strands of barbed wire backflips from the top of the barbed wire ropes down onto Eric Valor with a moonsault to the outside!

Eric Witz: Holy shit!

Keith Oswalt: Good lord! This is a bloody mess!

Eric Witz: A bloody masterpiece! I love it!

Shooting back up to his feet as the crowd claps in appreciation for Obscene’s determination, Obscene yells at them to “fuck off” before grabbing Eric Valor back up from the floor and now lifting him up onto his shoulders, holding Valor’s neck tightly to his shoulder with his arm. Finally, Obscene grins as he walks to the steel barricade before hitting a death valley driver, planting Valor’s head onto the steel barricade!

Rolling into the crowd after taking this painful move, Valor lays here motionlessly as the crowd attempts to revive him. As the crowd tends to Valor, Obscene yells at him, “Don’t touch my woman, bitch!” After yelling this, Obscene climbs to the ring apron, but just as he gets there, Valor seems to have a second wind as he pulls himself up to his feet! Screaming back at Obscene, Obscene’s face shows pure anger and without thinking, Obscene hops up onto the second barbed wire ropes, grabs a hold of the third, allowing the barbs to pierce his palms, before flinging himself backwards with a springboard lionsault, shooting over the barricade and landing on Eric Valor, slamming him through the chairs!

After this painful move, both men lay on their backs, neither moving, exhausted from the toll the match has taken on both of them. Bleeding profusely, both men lay in a puddle of their own bloods as the diehard Kingdom of Pride fans cheer for the both of them, wanting to see what else they are willing to put their bodies through, all for their entertainment.

Getting out of the ring, Chris Owens walks over to look at both, trying to determine if they can continue on with the match, or if he must rule the match a draw. As Owens reaches them both, both men use a fans leg to climb back up to their knees and at this point, blood covering both of their faces, they begin to exchange blows, neither man taking an advantage as they pull up to their feet. Finally, at their feet, Valor hits several punches in a row before Obscene finally cuts him off with a knee to the stomach, followed by an Irish whip, sending Valor over the barricade!

Keith Oswalt: The action in this match is unbelievable, I have no idea how else to describe it! These two men have put everything on the line for this match, and for what?

Eric Witz: For your entertainment?

Keith Oswalt: No Adam Lambart, they put it on the line to give these fans what they’ve paid for, an excellent, albeit grotesque, wrestling match.

Pulling himself again up off of the ground after being tossed to the floor, Eric Valor groggily stands, and seeing Valor standing infuriates Obscene as he sprints to the barricade, steps up onto a chair before leaping himself over the barricade and on to Eric Valor for a hurricanrana, however as he goes to flip Valor over, Valor stops him and instead catches Obscene before powerbombing him into the barbed wire ropes! Having his upper body sliced open in multiple places, Obscene rolls into the ring, painting the canvas red as Eric Valor now hops up onto the ring apron, gets into the ring and grabs his kendo stick. Grabbing the stick, Eric Valor continuously slams it into Obscene’s back, until finally the kendo stick is covered in blood. Tossing it out of the ring now, Eric Valor grins as he lifts Obscene up onto his shoulders before flipping him off and nailing Obscene with the Bleeding Edge (Fireman’s Carry Slam over the knee)!

Cracking Obscene’s neck over his knees with the move, Eric Valor finally covers Obscene,

1...

2...

3!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, at 26 minutes and 15 seconds, Eric Valor!

With all the stands on their feet clapping for the match they just witnessed, Eric Valor is helped to his feet as the ring crew immediately cuts the barbed wire ropes down as medics rush to the ring, checking on both men’s conditions as Eric Valor has his arm raised in victory before he collapses to the mat as the scene fades out.

[Kirk Noble]

RING RING!

RING RING!

RING RING!

RING RING!

JDP: Kyle! Get the damn phone!

:: The camera pans out to show that John is..............alone. Kyle isn't even around to answer it.

RING RING!

JDP: Shut up!

RING RING!

JDP: Why will you not shut up?!?!?!?!

RING RING!

JDP: AAAAAAAAAAARGH!

:: JDP headbutts the phone which breaks it. But he also KOs himself.

:: End of segment.

[Kirk Noble]

The beginning notes of “Inside The Fire” by Disturbed are heard. Jason Phoenix walks out, looking at the crowd. He slowly stalks his way to the ring. He climbs in, waiting for his opponent, ready to fight.

Ike Rose: The following match-up is a singles match scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first...Jason Phoenix!

The guitar riff at the start of 'Remedy' by Cold plays and he steps through the curtain he has as an entrance attire of a black coat. He stands at the top of the isle and makes a praying style taunt with a mattitude V1 hand gesture (he has three fingers together with his nose in the middle of the first two before wiping his nose in a Rikishi style before walking with a strut to he ring (he thinks he's God he's gonna strut) Once in the ring he moves to the first corner he can be bothered walking to he then climbs to the middle turnbuckle and does the same V1 Prayer taunt

Ike Rose: And his opponent...Stephen Callaway!

Callaway runs at Phoenix but Phoenix quickly grabs Callaway and scoops him up. He holds him for only a split second and then slams him down hard to the mat. Callaway gets back up and runs at Phoenix again but Phoenix once again scoops him up and slams him down to a pop from the crowd. Callaway gets up once more in frustration and takes a step at Phoenix but pulls back then drops down and gives a dropkick to the knee of Phoenix. Phoenix drops down to one knee as Callaway gets back up and runs off the ropes. Callaway runs back at Phoenix and hits him with a Flying Forearm. Phoenix lands on his back as Callaway springs up quickly. Callaway grabs Phoenix by the head and pulls him up. Callaway sidles up next to Phoenix and then drops him back with a standing dropkick. Callaway rolls through the move and back to his feet with a grin as the crowd boos. Strategizing his next move for a few moments, Callaway moves forward and drops a knee onto the neck of Phoenix. Phoenix rolls around from the lack of air flow as Callaway drops down and shoves Phoenix onto his back. Callaway makes the pin attempt.


1....


2....


Kickout!


Keith Oswalt: Callway with the first cover, but it was only a 2-count

Eric Witz: Bullshit!

Keith Oswalt: Are you going to start that already, Eric? We get it, you like Callaway.

Eric Witz: He’s taught us so much in the Kingdom of Pride, Keith! Can you imagine what he’d teach the children if we were turned into a kid’s television program? THINK OF THE SHAPES! THERE’D BE SO MANY ANGLES YOU COULD TASTE THEM!!!

Phoenix sits up and Callaway rears back onto his knees. Callaway quickly locks the Calsileaf (Texas Cloverleaf) on Phoenix and wrenches all the pressure up that he can. He climbs up pulling Phoenix up with him as the crowd gives Phoenix a cheering on, seeing as he’s a bit more likeable to them that the man who ALWAYS has an angle. As Callaway gets to his feet with Phoenix, Phoenix drops back down pulling Callaway down and hitting a jawbreaker. Callaway lets go of Phoenix and Phoenix gets up quickly. Phoenix shakes off the effects of the Calsileaf and other moves from before and runs for Callaway. He leaps up and runs at Callaway, clocking him with an Enziguri! Callaway rolls across the ring but gets up quick as does Phoenix. Phoenix goes to kick Callaway but Callaway grabs his leg. Phoenix leaps up for another Enziguri but Callaway ducks under the kick. He is now holding onto Phoenix's leg. Callaway grabs Phoenix's other leg and pulls him up. Callaway goes for a wheelbarrow suplex but Phoenix grabs Callaway's head and pulls him down to the mat with a swift DDT.

Keith Oswalt: What a counter! Callaway was on fire, and then Phoenix put it out like that!

Eric Witz: Pfft, I thought that loser only knew about starting fires, not putting them out?

Keith Oswalt: And what are you getting on about now?

Eric Witz: Think about it. All this time this Jason Phoenix has been about setting fires and crap, then all of a sudden he’s putting Callaway’s fire out? Just seems like this chump’s selling out on himself right here at the end of his Pride run.

Keith Oswalt: After all these years, you’d think I’d truly understand you by now.

Phoenix gets up and looks down at Callaway. He proceeds to lift Callaway up, step back, and then walk forward and floor Callaway with a superkick. He drops as Callaway drops and goes for the cover.


1.....


2......


Kickout!


Phoenix gets up with a frown and pulls Callaway up. He grabs Callaways arm and whips him into the corner but Callaway reverses and sends Phoenix into the corner instead. Phoenix leaps up to the top rope and flips back going for the Phoenix Fire…but Callaway moves out of the way causing Phoenix to collide with the mat! The crowd lets out a shocked “OOOH!” at the sound and sight of the impact Callaway looks over at Phoenix and smiles. He grabs his opponent by the head and locks in the Calsmission. Phoenix screams out as he smacks the mat trying to get to the ropes and the ref begins to ask him if he surrenders.

Keith Oswalt: Callaway is gunning for the end!

Eric Witz: That’s it! Get him! Get him! KILL HIM!!

Keith Oswalt: …………………wow.

Eric Witz: THIS IS WHAT PRO WRESTLING IS ABOUT, OSWALT!! If all fans got this excited for a match, even one this early in the night, maybe we’d actually get some good stuff on TV instead of whatever those other companies are providing…

Phoenix elbows Callaway in the face several times and is able to use all his might to jerk forward and reach to the ropes. He pulls himself forward and tries to get to the bottom rope but Callaway holds his ground and Phoenix remains just out of reach. The crowd cheers him on as Callaway roars that it’ll never happen. Phoenix uses one last burst of energy to pull forward and……he get his hand on the bottom rope. The referee calls for the break. Callaway angrily shoves Phoenix's head down and gets in the ref’s face, arguing with him. Phoenix lays on the mat holding his neck as Callaway continues to argue in vain. Phoenix pulls himself up using the ropes as Callaway turns his attention back to Phoenix. He runs at Phoenix but Phoenix lifts his knee and shoves it in Callaway's gut. Phoenix grabs Callaway as he is doubled over and hits a Pumphandle Slam. Phoenix lays on the mat as Callaway holds his back from the impact.

Keith Oswalt: Either man could use this opportunity, Eric.

Eric Witz: Don’t worry, angles can’t burn to the ground, so Phoenix has no tricks left he can try, and nobody’s gonna bail him out THIS time. Match is set at this point.

Phoenix gets up and grabs Callaway. He pulls Callaway up and rubs his hands together and signals for the Crimson Tornado as the crowd gives him positive feedback. As he goes to finish him, Callaway hits Phoenix in the ribs, causing Phoenix to let go of him. Callaway leans back against the ropes and runs back at Phoenix, but Phoenix stops Callaway’s momentum with a kick and begins to search for something. It appears Phoenix is going for a swinging neckbreaker. However, Callaway prevents the move and grabs Phoenix by the legs and drops him down forcefully. Phoenix barely has time to react as Callaway leaps forward toward his head and quickly locks in the Calsmission again! He rolls expertly until he has Phoenix drug into the middle of the ring and locks the move in completely. He holds nothing back as Phoenix tries to get to the ropes again but Callaway maintains his position. The crowd is going crazy, almost begging Phoenix not to give in...but he does! Callaway wins it!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner...Stephen Callaway!

Keith Oswalt: The man with the angle is going out on top!

Eric Witz: His angle...wa slarge enough.

Callaway celebrates, and gets a big pop from the crowd, before the scene fades out.

[Kirk Noble]

:: A bandaged up JDP is hanging around outside the hospital along with Ken and Bob. It isn't long before Chris comes out with his arm in a sling.

Ken: What did you do this time, ken?

Bob: You're Ken.

Ken: Oh yeah...

Chris: Well I went for an overhead kick in football. Despite the ball rolling across the ground.

:: The cliCK roll their eyes. They've heard this one before.

Chris: But that was all ok cause my mummy and daddy only allow me to play football on a crashmat these days.

JDP: Then what was the problem?

Bob: Did you miss it?

Chris: No. We were playing in the middle of a road and a car ran me over.

JDP: ...

Ken: ...

Bob: ...sometimes you just can't say anything.

Chris: Thanks for coming to meet me though m8s. Means a lot. We gunna go dahn tahn to the pahb then sahnshines?

JDP: I wish we could. I'm still looking for a job.

Ken: Aye, I'm pretty skint too.

Bob: Shame we lost that KoP gig really. Even Dolly the sheep is starting to get sick of me.

All: I wonder why

Bob: HUSH UP! THE LOT OF YOU!!!!

Chris: I got told the other day I'm allowed back in KoP these days. They couldn't do without my cockney charm!

JDP: That's awesome! We can all go back then!

:: John jumps and punches the air....................................and for one Chris doesn't somehow get his face in the way

Chris: Nam m8. I got a better offer. I'm off to WWE NXT. Got a contract signed and everything. I'm gunna be this fella called 'Wade Barrett'.

Ken: Don't suppose you could get me in on that?

Chris: Perhaps not on this one. But the one after. You in?

Ken: Yeah. I've got the name sorted and everything. MR. BRIGHTSIDE!!!

:: Ken pulls out a mask so camp that it makes Louis Spence look homophobic.

JDP: Errrr. How to put this.

The Rock: That ABSOLUTELY SUCKS!

JDP: Cheers Rock.

The Rock: No problem.

:: JDP and The Rock fist bump before the Rock heads off.

Bob: It's true, Ken. You look like a weasel in that mask.

Ken: Fool, I AM the weasel!

:: Ken pulls off the mask to reveal a weasel mask..................after an awkward pause he takes that off as well.

Ken: Sorry. Bad joke. I blame Bob.

:: Bob pulls the 'Rob face'.

Chris: I think we can get you in with a name more like Michael Mcgillicutty.

Bob: What about me? Can I come too?

Chris: Errrrrrr

Ken: Not sure how to put this laddie

JDP: They have drug tests.

Bob: Oh..........ok..........fair enough. I'll err. I'll...do what I normally do!

JDP: ............which is?

Chris: You're unemployed m8

Bob: Exactly! So playing with my pokemon cards it is! Check this baby out!



Delikado: Wooooooooooooooooooooooow. I look so awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

:: Delikado flies off.

Bob: What about you, John? What are you gunna do?

JDP: I'm gunna give KoP one last shot, man. Skype me though!

:: Johns limbs go like rubber and flap around in the air in a lethargic, mesmerizing manner as he floats off.

:: End of segment.

[Kirk Noble]

Ike Rose: The following contest is a special gauntlet style match and is for the Kingdom of Pride Scrambles Championships!
The timeless sound of “Pomp and Circumstance” begins to play throughout the Pride arena. The fans collectively turn to the entrance way, unsure of which team will be entering the match first. To their displeasure, a duo known as the Final Club walks out in their Harvard jackets.

Ike Rose: Entering first, at a combined weight a 480 pounds, hailing from Connecticut…they are Biff Brackman and Anthony Albers…THE FINAL CLUB!!!

Anthony Albers and Biff Brackman flash cocky smiles at the crowd as the booing begins to start. Brackman points to the “H” on his jacket while Albers screams about being smarter than “you hicks.”

Keith Oswalt: Well, it looks as if the crowd isn’t too fond of the first team to enter the gauntlet. The Final Club may be educated and renowned, but their first impression here in Pride isn’t resonating with the fanbase.

Eric Witz: And why should it, Keith? Pride’s going out of business, the fanbase consists of a bunch of drunken trailer trash, and a championship is on the line. I can tell you right now, both of these men are smart enough to know that it doesn’t matter what Pride’s fanbase thinks.

Keith Oswalt: Well, it wouldn’t hurt them to be nice…

As “Pomp and Circumstance” fades out, the young voice of Willow Smith hits the speakers with enough energy to excite the crowd that the Final Club has already annoyed. “I WHIP MAH HAIR BACK N FORTH” turns out to be an ironic song…as the very, very bald couple of Joseph and Tommy LaFrenze bursts through the entrance way wearing matching pink tights decorated with confetti. Half of the audience begins to cheer…as the other half begin to pray for their gay souls.

Ike Rose: And entering the gauntlet second…at a combined weight of 600 pounds, from New York City…Joe and Tommy LaFrenze are here to prove that BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

The happy couple begins tossing haircare products to the crowd as they make their way to the ring. The Final Club simply looks on in disgust.

Keith Oswalt: Any thoughts on this team, Eric?

Eric Witz: Well…Um…Actually… No comment.

The teams both decide who will start what is the most important match of their careers thus far. Bald is Beautiful decides to go with the larger Joe and Final Club decides to send in Brackman. The bell rings and the two men tie up. With their faces mere inches apart, Joe blows a kiss at Biff. The Harvard educated grappler freaks out, releasing the tie up and barking at the referee. The referee shrugs, as there’s nothing in Pride’s rulebook about kissing opponents. Biff sneers in disgust, before hitting Joe with a hard right hand to the jaw! Joe stumbles back, holding the point of impact, but manages to wink at his opponent and say “Hit me harder, big boy.” Biff, again, complains to the referee and stomps at the canvas in protest.

Eric Witz: Oh, come on! This is the final Kingdom of Pride show and a match for one of Pride’s most distinguished championships! These fuhhh….um….freaks, yeah…These freaks are making a mockery of this match!

Keith Oswalt: Oh, lighten up, Eric. These mind games are clearly working against Biff Brackman…and why not pull out all stops in the biggest match of the young careers of Joe and Tommy LaFrenze?

Eric Witz: …I’m not about to get fined $100,000 like Kobe Bryant over the comments I’m wanting to make.

The referee pleas with Joe to ease up, which Joe promises to do. The grapplers try the tie up again, but before any more weirdness can happen, Biff kicks Joe right in the gut. The largest wrestler doubles over in pain, not making any remarks after this blow, and Brackman drops an elbow across the back of Joe’s skull! Joe LaFrenze falls to the canvas, allowing the Harvard athlete to attempt a pinfall.

1…

But there’s only a one count. Biff decides that he’s done with this for now and tags in Anthony Albers. As he does this, Joe decides to tag in Tommy. The two new opponents meet each other in the center of the ring, as Tommy offers a tie up. Albers doesn’t want to repeat the embarrassment that Brackman went through, so instead he pulls Tommy into a side headlock. LaFrenze pushes Albers off into the ropes…and when Albers rebounds, Tommy locks him in a bearhug. As Anthony Albers writhes in pain, Brackman begins barking from the ring apron, once again complaining about the perversion of the move. Tommy LaFrenze, hearing Brackman’s complaints over the mildly interested crowd, decides to cut it out…by tossing Albers over his head with a belly-to-belly suplex, drawing a pop from the Harvard-hating crowd!

Keith Oswalt: What a suplex by Tommy LaFrenze!

Eric Witz: Not gonna lie, Keith. I was surprised this guy knew a move that didn’t involve innuendo or dry humping.

Albers makes his way back to his feet and is met by a cocky smirk from LaFrenze, knowing that his opponent underestimated his grappling skill. Albers rolls his neck and readies himself in a wrestling stance, challenging the bald opponent to do the same. The two men tie up, the crowd beginning to stir at the first sign of actual wrestling. Albers is able to slip behind LaFrenze into a rear waistlock. Using sheer strength, the Final Club member deadlifts his opponents and slams him stomach-first to the mat. Albers maneuvers around, locking Tommy in a front facelock, grinding his face against the dirty canvas. Albers backs off, slapping Tommy across the back of his bald head as he tries to get to his feet. The Harvard Man takes a step back and gets back into a wrestling position, ready to go again. Despite being frustrating, Tommy obliges. This time, LaFrenze is able to get behind Albers and force him chest-first into the Bald is Beautiful corner. Big Joe tags Tommy and enters the ring, while Albers is still being held in the turnbuckle. Tommy gives Albers a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the ring, causing him to freak out and turn around to complain…only to be clotheslined instead!

Keith Oswalt: What a clothesline from big Joe LaFrenze! Despite being ‘less educated,’ these men seem to be in control of the match!

Eric Witz: God help us.

Joe goes for a pinfall on the dazed Albers…

1…

…2…

….And Albers reverses Joe’s pinfall with a cradle of his own!

1..

…2…

Eric Witz: Who’s more educated now?!

…3!

Ike Rose: Bald is Beautiful have been eliminated!

Keith Oswalt: What genius wrestling technique used by Albers, using Joe LaFrenze’s weight and momentum against him to secure the three count!

Eric Witz: And we can all sleep peacefully knowing that the Scrambles titles aren’t being bedazzled and worn with pleather pants!

Keith Oswalt: …couldn’t let that chance pass you by, huh?

Eric Witz: Hey, I watched what I said for most of the match…I had to get a word in!

As the Final Club congratulates each other, “Here Comes The Money” hits the speakers. The two men turn their attention to the entrance way. Two hulking, massive men in business casual attire appear!

Ike Rose: Next up, weighing in at 620 pounds…Fred Feinstein and Guillermo Gonzales…ACCOUNTANTS! WITH! ATTITUDE!

As Feinstein slowly walks to the ring, Gonzales jogs (as well as a man his size can possibly jog) to join the fray as soon as possible. He slides in under the bottom rope…giving the educated Albers the break he needed. Anthony puts the boots to the accountant, targeting the head and neck area of the much larger man. As Gonzales flails, attempting to block the stomps, Albers drops down and locks him in a side headlock, trying to cut off Guillermo’s air supply!

Eric Witz: That’s what I’m talking about! Unlike most guys in this company, Final Club are using their heads!

Keith Oswalt: And underhanded tactics…but hey, who’s judging?

As Gonzales gasps for air, Albers is able to drag his weakened body towards the Final Club corner. Brackman slaps Albers on the back, tagging himself into the fray. He hops over the top rope, delivering a trio of boots to Gonzales before Albers releases his hold. With the big man weakened, the Final Club drill him with a textbook! double dropkick! Brackman quickly covers Gonzales, hoping to steal another one.

1…

Eric Witz: Excellent move by the Final Club! Bring on the next opponents!

…and Gonzales tosses Brackman out of the ring on the kickout! Albers, now on the apron, can’t believe it.

Gonzales gets to his feet and tags in Feinstein. The two massive accountants stand in the ring, looking imposing as Brackman takes his time getting back in. When he finally does, he abandons his better judgment and charges at the Accountants. Feinstein and Gonzales utterly level him with a double clothesline. Not one to stand for that, Albers jumps in and also charges in an attempt to catch them off guard. The AWA use Albers’s momentum and toss him into the air…spiking him down with a variation of a double uranage!

Keith Oswalt: WHAT A MOVE! I believe that call that the BFO…Bad Financial Advice!

Eric Witz: You just made that up…

Keith Oswalt: No I didn’t…that’s what it’s called.

Eric Witz: We’ve never seen these freaks before, Keith. There’s no way you know their moveset already…personally, I’m more curious as to how they passed the drug policy. Roid rage, much?

As Albers rolls out of the ring, obviously in pain, Brackman is making his way back to his feet. As he finally gets to a vertical base, Feinstein lifts him into a flapjack positon. On his way down, Gonzales catches him with a hellacious cutter, shaking the ring and knocking Brackman completely out!

Keith Oswalt: FSO! FSO! FSO!

Eric Witz: What does that even mean?!

Keith Oswalt: I can’t say on air…but let’s just say that these men don’t think highly of Sarbanes-Oxley…or Final Club. Despite conserving energy with their first match, their night is finished.

And sure enough, Feinstein covers Brackman for an elementary…

1…

2…

3!

Ike Rose: Final Club has been eliminated.

“Tiempo” by Jarabe de Palo begins to play, the theme of the first familiar team of the night. However, as the crowd is accustomed to, the Luchadores are nowhere to be found!

Ike Rose: Eventually entering the ring…The Last Minute Luchadores!!!

Instead of groaning, the crowd enthusiastically begins to count down the arrival of the Deadline Bomber and El Sandbago!

Crowd: ONE…TWO…THREE…FOUR…FIVE…SIX…SEVEN…

And they appear! The masked luchadores begin to sprint to the ring, trying to avoid the ten count!

Crowd: EIGHT…NINE!

And they trip over each other! The masked men are sent sprawling in a heap as the referee counts them out of the biggest match of their careers…foiled by their lateness.

Referee: TEN!

Keith Oswalt: Oh wow, they’re always late…but never before have the Luchadores failed to meet the ten count!

Eric Witz: What a bunch of losers! This match is for the Scrambles titles and they just threw it away because neither of these morons is wearing a watch. Thanks for coming…please, don’t come back.

Keith Oswalt: Come back to what? Pride’s closing…

Eric Witz: Oh, yeah…

Ike Rose: THE LAST MINUTE LUCHADORES HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED VIA COUNTOUT!

Another unfamiliar theme begins to play. “Quite Bitter Beings” plays as two smelly men in ratty, filthy clothes jump over the guardrail. Pride’s dedicated fanbase immediately recognizes these men as Weasel and Gronk…because, face it, they’ve all been subjected to insults and requests for change as they entered the arena.

Ike Rose: Coming to the ring next…weighing in at 550 pounds…Weasel and Gronk…THE PISSED OFF HOBOS!!!

But instead of entering, Weasel snatches Ike Rose’s microphone and begins another diatribe. As he talks, Gronk slides under the bottom rope.

Weasel: Well, look at this…look at all your stupid, stupid faces! For months now…MONTHS…I’ve politely asked you all for money. Not much…just enough for a chicken sandwich or a cold beer…and for MONTHS, you people have denied me that right! But now…haha! Now you fools are paying to see me! You’re paying for my dinner tonight whether you like it or not! So remember that the next time you turn up your HOITY TOITY NOSES TO THOSE LESS FORTUNATE THAN YOU, OKAY?! ONE DAY, YOU MIGHT BE AT THEIR MERCY…YOU MIGHT BE WATCHING AS THEY ACHIEVE MORE THAN YOU EVER HAVE IN YOUR MISERABLE, PATHETIC LIVES…REDNECK SCUM. Now Mister Referee, count the DAMN PINFALL!

The referee, as well as everyone else, turns to see Gronk covering both of AWA’s members in the ring…while everyone was focused on Weasel, the Nomadic Nightmare beat down both Gonzales and Feinstein! The referee, having no choice (as he doesn’t even know what happened)…counts the pinfall!

1…

2…

Eric Witz: Yes! Go Hobos!

3!

Ike Rose: The Accountants With Attitude have been eliminated! Only one team remains!

“WHISTLE WHILE YOU TWERK” fills the arena as Jerome and Jing emerge from the curtain.

Ike Rose: Now entering the ring…Jerome and Jing…SPOOKS AND GOOKS!

Keith Oswalt: These guys are back? I thought they were banned from the arena!

The S&N duo dash to the ring and slide under the bottom rope, trying to attack Gronk before Weasel can even react. Gronk, however, clotheslines them both down!

Eric Witz: Haha! Hobos rule!

Gronk then leaves the ring, allowing Weasel to get his first taste of in-ring action. The smaller, more devious hobo licks his chops as Jing gets to his feet clutching his head. Weasel kicks Jing in the stomach, doubling him over…and repeatedly elbows him in the back of the head. He plants Jing with a stiff DDT and begins to taunt the capacity crowd!

Eric Witz: The writing’s on the wall, Keith! Hobo Champions!

Keith Oswalt: I can’t believe we’ve come to this…

Weasel tags Gronk back in, but the crowd mocking allowed Jing to tag in Jerome. Jerome, not one to back down from a fight, steps to Gronk and begins trashtalking. The giant hobo glares at him before delivering a stiff punch right to Jerome’s eyes! The smaller star drops in pain, but Gronk’s blow draws the ire of the referee. He begins to lecture Gronk, allowing Weasel to choke Jerome with the bottom rope! Jing notices this and leaps from the apron, chasing Weasel around the ring.

Eric Witz: This is chaos…and strangely, I’m loving it!

With Jing distracted, Jerome is all alone with the Gronk. The bearded behemoth lifts Jerome off the canvas and puts him on his shoulders in a torture rack position. Then, Gronk lets out a war cry-like bellow before slamming Jerome with a mighty HOBO-an drop! Outside the ring, Weasel manages to sidestep Jing and shove him headfirst into the steel post.

Keith Oswalt: I don’t want to say it…but these Hobos seem to have this in the bag! With Gronk’s power and Weasel’s ability to annoy the piss out of everyone, they’ve somehow managed to find themselves a pinfall away from the titles!

Eric Witz: Finally, vindication for those who mocked them for so long!

Keith Oswalt: Tell me, Eric…did you ever give either of those men money when they were outside begging?

Eric Witz: Hell no, Keith. I’m not about to give my cash to some smelly hobos…but I’ll sure love it when they dominate the Pride tag division!

Gronk peels the lifeless body of Jerome off the mat and places the fun loving grappler’s head between his legs. He then lifts him up and delivers a ferocious powerbomb, shaking the ring! But he doesn’t let go! Weasel hops to the ring apron and begins to ascend the top turnbuckle. Gronk deadlifts Jerome and powers him down once more with a powerbomb! The crowd let out an audible “ohhhhhhhhh.”

Eric Witz: Here it comes, Keith! Jerome’s going to the Unemployment Line!

Keith Oswalt: Did you just make that name up, Witz?

Eric Witz: Damn right, I did!

As Gronk prepares a third powerbomb, Weasel leaps off and drives his elbow down into the chest of Jerome! The S&G member writhes in pain as Gronk pins him to the canvas…

1…

2…

Eric Witz: New champs!

Keith Oswalt: God, help us!

3!

Ike Rose: And your WINNERS…by PINFALL….THE PISSED OFF HO---

NOW I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS.

As “Reise Reise” begins to blast over the speakers, the crowd goes crazy! The Hobos both turn to the entrance way with fear in their eyes as Pride’s most dominant tag team makes a surprise return. Somba and Balraj stoically walk through the curtain with Kaja Reinhardt, much to the crowd’s delight!

Keith Oswalt: When they arrived in Pride, the Krieg were hated by nearly everyone…but after months, the fans respected their ability and resilience and now, here they are!

Ike Rose: AND NOW, MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING…ACCOMPANIED BY KAJA REINHARDT, AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 730 POUNDS…DER KRIEG MASCHINEN!!!

Eric Witz: No! No! These men weren’t supposed to be here! This isn’t legal!

Keith Oswalt: If it wasn’t allowed, Sterling or Noble would be out here by now, Eric…it appears these Hobos have another challenge ahead of them if they want to hold gold.

The Pride faithful begin barking along with “Reise Reise” as the two giants make their return to the ring. Somba and Balraj step to the apron, then over the top rope, coming face-to-chest with the two homeless men. The music dies and the crowd begins to chant “LET’S GO KRIEG.” Weasel shoves Gronk and points at the men…but Gronk doesn’t budge! As the Hobos quarrel, both Maschinen members deliver simultaneous giant chops to their heads!

Eric Witz: Someone stop this!

Gronk, the most resilient of the Hobos, is the first to his feet. He tries to escape the ring, but Somba grabs his arm and whips him into a giant boot from Balraj! The Gronk rolls out of the ring, clutching his head and screaming in pain. He looks at the two monsters in the ring and begins to retreat to the back…clearly not willing to risk injury from a fight he couldn’t win. Unfortunately, this leaves Weasel all alone with the two German giants.

Keith Oswalt: It appears Weasel is about to pay the piper…The Krieg have their sights set on gold and he’s the only thing keeping them from it!

Balraj picks the small Hobo off the canvas and gorilla presses him, lifting him up and down a few times to the delight of the crowd. Kaja Reinhardt claps at ringside, looking on at the destruction that the Krieg are causing. Balraj then tosses Weasel off, into a thumb spike from Somba that could permanently damage Weasel’s throat!

Eric Witz: Damn those Germans!

The crowd goes ballistic as Balraj places a big foot on Weasel’s chest.

1…

2…

Keith Oswalt: Finally, the Krieg have put their name in Pride’s record books! New champions!

3!

Ike Rose: Your winners and NEW Kingdom of Pride Scrambles champions…DER KRIEG MASCHINEN!!!

“Reise Reise” begins to play once more, to the crowd’s delight. Kaja enters the ring holding the shining championship belts high above her head. Balraj and Somba lift their manager into the air, proudly displaying their hard earned titles to the Pride faithful.

[Kirk Noble]

:: Back at the arena word of KoP's closure has got around. Hence the following wrestlers are NOT in attendance looking for a job:

"Admiral" Henry Taylor
"Awesome" Andy Alexander
"Dash" Matthews
"Linguist" Moore
"Prince" Warren
"Technician" Patrick Wood
"Word" Kevin Lawrence
Albert "Emerald Jailer" Stephens
Albert the Spirit
Batcris
Big Gay Dave
Billy the Boston
Billy the War
Brandon the Wisdom
Carl the Chaos
CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Craig "Star Duke" Ferguson
Craig "The Battler" Bennett
D. M. "The Count" Ortiz
Douglas "Mentor Duke" Lee
Great Gregory Jenkins
H. O. "The Sergeant" Hunter
Jamie Bamford
Kylus Parkerious the Knobleious
Mysterious V. C. Jenkins
Richard "The Sapphire" White
Russ
Spectral E
Stupid CageHunter
The Moo Cow
The Student Doctor
The Two-Fisted Ogre
Tiger Lawl
V. P. "The Owl" Hughes
W. T. "Heroic" Wright

:: As a result JDP can walk straight into Kurt Noble's office. We do not follow but hear a shriek.

Knoble: DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK!?!?!?!?

:: Amy Register, blushing and carrying clothes, rushes from the room.



Knoble: What the BLEEP do you want, John?

JDP: Did you just SAY 'bleep'?

Knoble: I might have. But that's besides the point.

JDP: I heard KoP was struggling.

Knoble: Oh did you?

JDP: So I want my job back!

Knoble: You really want your job back?

JDP: Yes! Yes! Yessir! Yeah! Booyeah! Ja! Jib Jab Job Jub Jubbie Jaaaaaaaaaaaa-yes!

Knoble: Fine. Here's a contract. Sign it and then leave my sight. I'll send you the card for the next show later.

JDP: WOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:: End segment

[Kirk Noble]

”Hate It Or Love It" by G-Unit begins to play as many of the fans in the attendance begin to make the sounds of the background chorus, chanting with the song, some fans begin to also boo as the song comes on and there, through the crowds begins to climb out Dru Tha Merc, sitting in a seat and looking around. Niles Markie is standing at the entrance, waving at his client!

Hate it or love it, The underdog's on top,
And I'm gonna shine homie, until my heart stop...
Go head' envy me, I'm rap's MVP.
And I ain't goin nowhere, so you can get to know me.

Hate it or love it, The underdog's on top,
And I'm gonna shine homie, until my heart stop...
Go head' envy me, I'm rap's MVP.
And I ain't goin nowhere, so you can get to know me.


Dru Tha Merc strolls through the crowd, cracking his knuckles and taking a grasp of his hat, pulling it off his head as he looks around, then steps down onto the entrance way next to Niles. Together they walk to the ring. As Dru slides into the ring, the big brawler slapping his chest twice and pointing to the fans, motioning his fingers like a gun. He takes his hat and tosses it, as Niles makes a tsk-tsk-tsk sound and begins to talk strategy to his client. Niles Markie opens his briefcase and offers a tire iron to Dru, but before Dru can take it, the ref yells at both of them and the two men shake their heads before Niles walks out of the ring and stand by the apron, while Dru preps for his match, rolling his shoulders.


Hate it or love it, The underdog's on top,
And I'm gonna shine homie, until my heart stop...
Go head' envy me, I'm rap's MVP.
And I ain't goin nowhere, so you can get to know me.

Hate it or love it, The underdog's on top,
And I'm gonna shine homie, until my heart stop...
Go head' envy me, I'm rap's MVP.
And I ain't goin nowhere, so you can get to know me.

Ike Rose: The following match-up is the triple threat Syndicate title match, scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first...Dru the Merc!

"Just Like You" by Three Days Grace Blares over the PA system in the arena as Kid Flanagan makes his down to the ring holding a book bag, he gives some fans high fives before he gets into the ring. Finally he gets into the ring, he then starts going through his book bag, he then pulls out an two water pistols. He then yells "BOOM", then he leaps out of the ring and shoots some hot woman wearing an white t-shirt. Kid then yells "BOOBSHOT!". Kid Flanagan then gets back into the ring.

Ike Rose: Next, he is the Kingdom of Pride Syndicate Champion...Kid Flanagan!

Keith Oswalt: Longest reigning Pride Champion ever!

Eric Witz: Word.

"Like A Boss" plays through the speakers as the lights flash in bright red, blue, and plain white colors while the crowd boos in dislike.

So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm the boss
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss
Well the first thing I do is...


Boss Delikado walks out and stands in place just a few inches from the curtain. As the song keeps playing, he looks out to the ring and points to it with his left index finger before holding out his open right hand and slowly clenching it into a fist. The crowd boos and Boss Delikado slowly walks down the ramp, a little swagger in his powerful Bossy steps.

Talk to to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote Synergy (like a boss)


Boss Delikado walks down the ramp, staring into the camera and posing confidently before faking a kick at it. He stops and poses with both arms in the air.

Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... shit!


Boss Deli continues walking until he is at the outside of the ring. He looks at another camera, raising an eyebrow, and fakes a punch to it before jumping up and standing on the side of the ring with his hands on the ropes. He stares out to the crowd, challenging random fans to prove themselves against him, before he jumps over the top rope into the ring. He proceeds to pace around, punching his fists together. Delikado now waits for the match to start as he lazily leans over the top rope and stares out at the crowd, a highly amused smirk of superiority on his face. And why wouldn't he? He's THE BOSS!

Ike Rose: And finally...Delikado!

Keith Oswalt: Pride original!

Eric Witz: Word number two!


The match is about to start, with all three men eyeing one another, the “Delikado” chants shaking the very arena itself! Chris Owens holds up the Syndicate title, and in a split second, Dru grabs it, spins, and slams it into Kid’s face! Kid goes flying out of the ring, as Dru smiles, and turns towards Delikado, saying “Ain’t no champion in this ring.” Chris Owens begins to yell at Dru, but he knows it’s ineffective, and calls for the match to officially start. Delikado smiles as well, and Dru runs in with a big boot, trying to get Delikado off guard, but Delikado ducks and begins a set of kicks of Dru’s legs, before livening him up with some hard chops! Delikado Irish Whips Dru, but Dru reverses, and goes for a huge clothesline, but Delikado slides under it, before standing up, and raising his leg for a kick…that gets blocked by Dru, who slams his hard fist into Delikado’s face!

Keith Oswalt: These two men are masters of trickery. I definitely don’t expect this match to end on a fair note!

Eric Witz: Hey, in Dru’s defense, the bell hadn’t rung yet…and besides, I don’t hear Kid complaining!

Keith Oswalt: That’s because he’s out on the floor in front of us!

Dru lifts up Delikado, and pushes him into a corner, before roughing him up with some of the brawler punches he’s become known for. Dru steps back, and SLAPS Delikado across the face, yelling “Ain’t no bossy bitches ring anymore!” Dru then Irish Whips Delikado, who jumps up, and springboards off the ropes for a lariat…but gets caught in mid-air, and slammed down viciously in a spinebuster! Dru is about to pin Delikado, but Kid comes in the ring, and hits a running cutter on Dru before he can make the pin! Kid tries to lift up Dru, but Dru hits some shots to his stomach. Dru gets up, and and bounces off the ropes, going for a big boot, but Kid ducks, and both Delikado and Kid bounce off the ropes and nail Dru with a double superkick!!! The crowd goes ecstatic, chanting “RIGHT IN THE-FACE!”…before Delikado turns, and hits a jump up enziguri on Kid Flanagan! Delikado pins…

1…

2…

Kickout by Kid Flanagan!

Keith Oswalt: First near fall of the match!

Eric Witz: Damn, Dru got FLOORED. Feet, meet the face, you hear?

Delikado lifts up Kid, and beats him around with a few punches. He then lifts up Kid, but Kid swings under him, and swings Delikado around with a DDT! Kid looks exhausted, clearly worn out from the beating he’s taken already. Kid lifts up Delikado, and Irish Whips him, but Delikado counters, sending Kid into the corner. Delikado charges, but Kid hops up on the ropes, and jumps off, slamming Delikado with an incredible mid-air knee strike! Delikado stumbles back, going down on one knee, and Kid charges in…only to get caught, and slammed, with a belly to belly suplex! The crowd applauds Delikado, chanting “STILL THE MAN!”, as Delikado pushes Kid into the corner. He begins to smirk, spitting in his handm before smacking Kid around! Delikado lifts Kid up onto the turnbuckle, but is grabbed from behind by Dru, who slams Delikado with a hard forearm, sending him stumbling headfirst into a rather tender area for Kid!

Kid’s eyes go wide, realizing Flanagan babies are now unlikely! Meanwhile, Dru Irish Whips Delikado, but Delikado tries to reverse…only to be pulled back and hit with the Grown Ass Slam (High-Lifting Spinebuster)! Dru then lifts up Delikado for a powerslam, keeping him held on his shoulders…until Kid flies from the turnbuckle, hitting a falling cutter on Delikado, removing him forcibly from the shoulders of Dru! However, Dru sees this, and grabs Kid, throwing him out of the ring! Dru pins Delikado…

1…

2…

Kickout from Delikado!

Eric Witz: Jesus, like a fucking frog with that leap right there….and fuck, it’s Pride’s final show. I’ma say fuck all I want! Fuck, fuck-

Keith Oswalt: Oh shut the fuck up and enjoy the match!

Dru throws Delikado out of the ring in clear frustration, but Delikado holds onto the ropes! Dru yells something about immigrants to Delikado, and tries to grab him, but Delikado jumps down, hitting Dru’s face off the ropes! Dru stumbles back, and Delikado jumps from the turnbuckle, hitting a huge hurricanrana on Dru! Delikado then hops on Dru, yelling “imm-what, Druswhatsyourface?” before slapping Dru multiple times across the face, and then hitting a legdrop on him! Delikado then tries to lock in the Crisis de Octubre (Koji Clutch), but Kid runs in, only for Delikado to duck his kick, and retaliate with a dropkick as Kid bounces off the ropes! Delikado looks at both men, and shrugs…before standing on both for a pin! Chris Owens looks heavily confused, not knowing which to count, and then uses both hands for the pins…

1…

2…

Both men kickout before the three, almost making Delikado fall flat on his face! Delilado snaps his fingers, visibly disappointed , yelling “you screwed me again Owens! Robbie Freaking Venom all over again!” However, Dru sees this, and rushes Delikado, knocking him right out of the ring! Dru then turns towards Kid, yelling “All mine now, motha-fucka!”. Dru begins to pound on Kid as he gets up, each shot throwing Kid off balance. Dru lifts up Kid for a Bay Areas Chokeslam, but Kid squrism out in mid-air, barely landing on his feet! Dru does a bit boot, but Kid responds with a bicycle kick to floor Dru! Dru gets up rather quickly, and Kid bounces back, going for a running knee strike, but Dru catches Kid as he jumps for it! He smirks, and spins Kid around, but Kid lands, and rolls up Dru…

1…

2…

3-Kickout by Dru!

Keith Oswalt: What an impressive athletic display from Kid Flanagan!

Eric Witz: Shame his children will never see the video of that!

Keith Oswalt: Please…you think the Flanagan clan hasn’t already expanded across the universe?

Kid lifts up Dru, and tries to Irish Whip him, but Dru reverses. Kid ducks under a clothesline, and springboards off the ropes…but gets caught in mid-air, and caught in the Bearhug!!! The crowd goes wild, as Kid struggles to free himself, barely withstanding the pain! Kid lifts his hand up, ready to tap out…but Chris Owens is distracted, as Delikado hops on the apron, the Syndicate title in hand! He tries to get in the ring to slam Dru with it, but Chris Owens blocks him…as Kid taps out! Delikado yells “TAKE ME TO DINNER BEFORE YOU FUCK ME OWENS,” and throws the title aside, just as Dru angrily throws Kid to the canvas! Dru then runs in, and big boots Delikado off the apron!

Keith Oswalt: Delikado knew Kid was going to tap, so distracted Chris Owens with the title belt! Seriously, what a cheating, no-good…


Eric Witz: You love him, I love him, everyone in Pride loves him…FACT!

Dru angrily looks back at Kid, and lifts him up again with the Bearhug! Kid seems even more worn down, ready to tap…but Delikado gets back in the ring, and moonsaults into both men, taking both down! Delikado stands over Dru and Kid, yelling “I’m their bawse, bitches!” as Dru gets up. The two begin to trade punches, before Delikado SLAPS Dru across the face! Dru responds with a SLAP, and the two men trade slaps, until Dru ducks, and hits an inverted atomic drop on Delikado! Delikado stumbles about, and Dru takes him down with a clothesline! Kid gets up too, and is taken down with a clothesline! Dru goes on a roll, slamming Kid with a sidewalk slam, before grabbing Delikado and doing the same! Kid tries to get up, but Dru lifts him up with the Bearhug! However, Dru looks at the Cuban, and decides he knows who his real prey is…and dumps Kid over the ropes, to the floor below!

Dru waits for Delikado to get up, before lifting him with the Bearhug! Delikado writhes in pain, not sure exactly how to beat this…before swinging his hand, poking Chris Owens in the eye as he gets too close! As Owens stumbles back, Delikado bites Dru’s nose! Dru drops him, yelling various racial obscenities…before Delikado pulls out a cigar!!! The crowd starts a “BLOW IN HIS FACE” chant, and Delikado lights the cigar with his lighter…before jamming it right in Dru’s face!!!

Eric Witz: The cigar has returned to Pride!

Keith Oswalt: Get that out of his face!

Eric Witz:…dot com?

Dru yanks himself away, clearly blinded, as Delikado backs up, and hit a Last Call to Cuba on Dru!!! Delikado makes the pin, and Chris Owens barely makes the count…

1…

2…

3-Kid interrupts the count by flying, slamming down on both men!

All three men are now down, lying in the ring together, each one exhausted by this epic match-up! Kid and Dru get up, and begin to throw groggy punches at one another, with Kid gaining the advantage surprisingly! Kid Irish Whips Dru, but Dru reverses, and then charges Kid in the corner! However, Kid stretches out his foot, and Dru catches him…before grabbing Kid, and slamming him down hard on the turnbuckle! Kid lays across it, looking broken, and Dru takes off the cover as Kid lays on it! Dru then lifts Kid high into the air, and drops him on the steel frame, making Kid fall to the ground outside, flailing in tremendous pain! Dru then looks over at Delikado, who is trying to get up. Delikado does get up, but gets kicked and nailed with the Code of the Streets! Dru makes a pin…

1…

2…

Keith Oswalt: HE DID IT!

NO! Delikado kicks out, and Dru is in absolute shock! He grabs Delikado, and begins to ram him viciously against the mats, before lifting Delikado up. He lifts up Delikado for a Powerbomb, and walks over towards the exposed metal frame. However, Delikado responds by spinning, hitting a hurrcanrana on Dru right into the metal wires! Dru nearly falls, and Kid runs in, nailing Delikado with the Kid Kick (Superkick)! Kid then looks at Dru, who stumbles back, and Kid quickly blows up his muscles…and lifts up Dru for the Kid Wins (FU)! Kid nearly falls…but hits the move!!! The crowd is in pure shock!

Eric Wiz: No fuckin’ way!

Keith Oswalt: Steroids confirmed?

Kid crawls over, and pins Dru…

1…

2…



NO! Dru gets his foot on the ropes, and Kid is devastated. Kid then looks around, knowing he has few moves left to try. He goes to the ropes, and hoists himself up on the turnbuckle, standing proudly, as the entire world watches him…fall right on the turnbuckle, as Delikado shakes the ropes! Delikado then walks back, and nails him with a Last Call to Cuba, nearly sending Kid off the turnbuckle, as he hangs on limply! Delikado gets on the turnbuckle, and positions Kid…before slamming him with a Cuban’s Wrath (Canadian Destroyer)! Deliakdo pins….
1…

2…

3!!!!

Ike Rose: Here is your winner, and NEW SYNDICATE CAHMPION…DELIKADO!!!

Keith Oswalt: Holy shit! Delikado ends as Pride's Syndicate Champion!

Eric Witz: He is...the Boss!

The scene fades to black as Delikado celebrates with cigars and Champagne.

[Kirk Noble]

The scene opens with a shot of JDP facing the camera dressed in a turban and robes with a dirty beard. He is Osama JDPin Laden.

Osama JDPin Laden: Allah be praised, I am Osama JDPin Laden, and I am here to destroy the Kingdom of Pride with my horrible acts of horribleness! Observe!

JDP reaches into his turban and pulls out a harmonica. He blows into the holes (giggity), producing a screeching note.

Osama JDPin Laden: Deeeeeeeath to Priiiiiiiiiiiide! Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath to Priiiiiiiiiiiide! For AAAAAALLL OF THE WOOOOOOORLD, I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY GOOD…BYEEEE---

*LAST CALL TO CUBA!!!!*

The mighty boot of epic amazingness that has never, nor will it EVER, be a fluke blasts Osama in the head, causing it to be obliterated into pieces. Cigar smoke is blown on-screen as Delikado walks into view. He cocks an eyebrow at the screen, grinning.

Delikado: Oh yeah, Delikado went there. Suck it world that thinks we couldn’t and/or wouldn’t.

Delikado bites down on his cigar and holds up the middle finger to the camera. He then pounds his fists together, in no way copying a wrestler’s taunt (because really taking a wrestler’s pose, taunt, or even regular saying by changing a name or adding/subtracting a word is NEVER unoriginal or a rip-off, riiiiiiiiiiight?) and holds them to the screen, revealing a word that is written on each finger minus the thumbs. The camera zooms in to read the writing.

Alex. Sucks. What. Does. He. Suck? Whale. Penis.

Delikado nods in approval of his own actions and pulls on a badass cowboy hat. He steps over the destroyed body of that jobber Osama JDPin Laden and walks off-screen to go do more awesome shit for the world.

[Kirk Noble]

The harrowing intro chords of "Wanted Dead or Alive" strum through the speakers as the crowd go alive with frenzy. The chords spark the nutcase fans as they stand on their feet in anticipation for their hero, the one and only Eddie Nash. As the slide guitar kicks in and smoke fills the arena the crowd go even louder until finally the vocals kick in.

"It's all the same... only the names have changed...
Everyday it seems we're wasting away...
Another place where the faces are so cold...
I'd drive all night just to get back home...

I'm a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted... DEAD OR ALIVE."

Nash steps out of the curtains, one arm raised overhead with his head hung low as the fans go absolutely ballistic for their hero, King of the Road Eddie Nash. Whistling, cheering and screaming is heard from every cranny of the building as NAsh walks out onto the stage. He cocks his head up, a big grin splashed across his face as he leaps forward thrusting his arms out in an explosive movement to let the fans know he's here.

Ike Rose: And from Knoxville, Tennessee, weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds, he is the “King of the Road” Eddie Nash!

Taking his time to walk down the entrance ramp he high fives his loyal fans, that happy smile never leaving his face for a second as he makes his hero's welcome to the ring. Climbing up the stairs, the heavy biker from Knoxville climbs through the second rope and raises his arm once again to another big pop from the crowd. Finally he walks to the corner and crouches down, stretching out his legs as he holds onto the top rope on either side of the turnbuckle for support waiting for his opponent to arrive.

Ike Rose: The following match-up will be for the Kingdom of Pride Valiant Championship! Introducing first, weighing in at 248 pounds, and hailing from Knoxville, Tennessee…. He is the “King od the Road” Eddie Nash!

Keith Oswalt: That has never been a greater challenger to the Valiant Title. Eddie Nash deserves to be here, and arguably deserves to be Valiant Champion…but Josh Eagles will not give up without the fight of his life.

Eric Witz: Yeah, it’s sure to be a kicass ride!
Eddie Nash is standing in the ring now looking towards the entrance waiting for Josh Eagles to come down his eyes focused ready to get this match underway.

Keith Oswalt: The crowd is absolutely buzzing with anticipation waiting for Eagles to come out and get this match underway.

Eric Witz: You can't blame them, this is the biggest match in the history of the Kingdom of Pride and by the looks of it Nash is chomping at the bits to get his hands on Eagles!

Without notice the lights in the arena turn off plunging the arena into absolute darkness and a voice begins to speak over the P.A system.

Voice: Life is an interesting journey. You never know where it'll take you. Peaks and valleys, twists and turn. You could get the surprise of your life. Sometimes on the way to where your going you might think this is the worst time of my life, but you know what? At the end of the road through all the adversity if you could get to where you wanted to be you remember whatever don't kill you make you stronger and all the adversity was worth it. On the way to the top you'll do anything but how do you get your life back when you get there? Yeah that's my dilemma.

A spotlight appears on the stage and the crowd goes wild as standing there is T.I with a mic in his hand and some music picks up as he throws his hand into the air.

Be thankful for the life you got, you know what I am saying?
Stop looking at what you ain't got, Start being thankful for what you got
Let's give it to em, HEY RIHANNA!

Another spotlight appears on the stage and now the crowd go's nuts as Rihanna herself is standing on the stage.

You're gonna be a shinin' star
In fancy clothes and fancy cars
And then you'll see you're gonna go far
'Cause everyone knows just who you are

So live your life
(Hey, ayy, ayy, ayy)
You steady chasin' that paper
Just live your life
(Oh, ayy, ayy, ayy)

Ain't got no time for no haters
Just live your life
(Hey, ayy, ayy, ayy)
No tellin' where it'll take ya
Just live your life
(Oh, ayy, ayy, ayy)

'Cause I'm a paper chaser
Just livin' my life
(Hey)
My life
(Oh)

Now the entire entrance lights up and in the center of both Rihanna and T.I stands Josh Eagles with the KoP Valiant Championship held high above his head and now the crowd nearly blows the roof off the place as he lowers it to his shoulder and slaps hands with T.I and points at both Rihanna and T.I

Hey, never mind what haters say
Ignore 'em 'til they fade away
Amazin' they ungrateful
After all the game I gave away

Safe to say I paved the way
For you cats to get paid today
You still be wastin' days away
Now had I never saved the day

Consider them my protégé
Homage I think they should pay
Instead of bein' gracious
They violate in a major way

The short ramp on the way to the ring begins to light ups with sparklers and all three start to walk down toward the ring Josh slapping hands with fans while the other two keep on singing.

I never been a hater
Still I love 'em in a crazy way
Some say they sold the yay'
And know they couldn't get work on Labor Day

It ain't that black and white
It has an area the shade of gray
I'm Canadian anyway
Even if I left today and stayed away

Some move away to make a way
Not move away 'cause they afraid
I brought back to the hood
And all you ever did was take away

I pray for patience but they
Make me wanna melt they face away
Like I once made 'em spray
Now I could make 'em put the K's away

Been fightn' all my life
Can't say I don't deserve to take a break
You'd rather see me break a bone
And watch my future fade away

Eagles slides into the ring and gold sparklers burst out of every post as he throws the belt high above his head looking right at Eddie Nash.

You're gonna be a shinin' star
In fancy clothes and fancy cars
And then you'll see you're gonna go far
'Cause everyone knows just who you are

So live your life
(Hey, ayy, ayy, ayy)
You steady chasin' that paper
Just live your life
(Oh, ayy, ayy, ayy)

Ain't got no time for no haters
Just live your life
(Hey, ayy, ayy, ayy)
No tellin' where it'll take ya
Just live your life
(Oh, ayy, ayy, ayy)

'Cause I'm a paper chaser
Just livin' my life
(Hey)
My life
(Oh)

My life
(Hey)
My life
(Oh)

T.I has now also entered the ring and has helped Rihanna through the ropes. Rihanna takes the middle of the ring while T.I and Eagles continue to go around the ring and climbing turnbuckles one singing and one throwing the Valiant title in the air.

I'm the opposite of moderate
Immaculately polished
With the spirit of a hustler
And the swagger of a college kid

Allergic to the counterfeit
Impartial to the politics
Articulate, but still'll
Grab a guy by the collar quick

Whoever havin' problems with
Their record sales just hollow tip
If that don't work and all else fails
Then turn around and follow Tip

I got love for the game
But ay, I'm not in love with all of it
Could do without the fame
And wrestlers nowadays are comedy

The hootin' and the hollerin'
Back and forth with the arguin'
Where you from? Who you know?
What you make? And what kind of car you in?

Seems as though you lost sight
Of what's important when depositin'
Them checks into your bank account
And you up out of poverty

Your values is a disarray prioritizin' horribly
Unhappy with the riches 'cause you're piss poor morally
Ignorin' all prior advice and forewarnin'
And we mighty full of ourselves
All of a sudden, aren't we?

T.I and Eagles join Rihanna in the middle of the ring as she finishes up the song. T.I trying to get the crowd into it and Eagles spinning with the belt high above his head and stopping facing Eddie Nash.

So live your life
(Hey, ayy, ayy, ayy)
You steady chasin' that paper
Just live your life
(Oh, ayy, ayy, ayy)

Ain't got no time for no haters
Just live your life
(Hey, ayy, ayy, ayy)
No tellin' where it'll take ya
Just live your life
(Oh, ayy, ayy, ayy)

'Cause I'm a paper chaser
Just livin' my life
(Hey)
My life
(Oh)

My life
(Hey)
My life
(Oh)

The music comes to an end as the crowd erupts and Eagles points at Rihanna and T.I and slaps hands with them as they make their way out of the ring and we step close to the beginning of the final match in the Kingdom of Pride.

Keith Oswalt: Hell of an entrance!

Eric Witz: Going out with style!

The bell for the last ever Kingdom of Pride match rings, with Eddie Nash and Josh Eagles standing in the middle of the ring, staring at one another, the tension at an all-time high. Neither man is focused on anything besides the other, ignoring the simultaneous “EAGLES” and “NASH” chants. The anticipation builds, as it’s unclear who will throw the first punch…and Eagles does, but Nash blocks it, and Nash begins to lay into Eagles like a machine! He backs up Eagles to the ropes, hailing down on him like a monster, and Chris Owens tries to intervene…and Nash pauses, yelling “Fuck you” at Owens, and hitting a final hard shot off Eagles face! Nash Irish Whips, but Eagles reverses, and goes for a clothesline himself, but Nash ducks it and bounces off the ropes, trying to drop a quick Hammer (Spear), but Eagles leaps over him! Nash quickly gets back on his feet, and Eagles charges him, knocking him with a clothesline that sends both men to the floor below! The crowd is ecstatic, as both men get up, with Nash being a bit faster, grabbing Eagles with a football tackle and slamming him to the floor! Nash begins to slam his fists down violently on Eagles, before getting off of him.

Keith Oswalt: This match-up is taking an incredibly fast, incredibly intense start, as we’re out on the floor the first minute of the match!

Eric Witz: We’ve never been all glam and glitz here in Pride. Down and dirty, just like we’ve liked it!

Nash lifts up Eagles, and slams him into the barricade, before grabbing Eagles and standing over the steel steps. With the crowd egging Nash on, Nash slams Eagles face down on the steel steps, getting a huge cheer from the crowd! Nash then hits some hard shots across Eagles face, before slamming him on the barricade again! Nash, riding the crowd’s momentum for his relentless assault, roughly Irish Whips Eagles into the steel steps! An “ANARCHY” chant gets going, and Nash throws Eagles back into the ring. He gets on Eagles, and pounds him with some solid shots, before getting off. He Irish Whips Eagles, but Eagles reverses, and Nash goes for a lunging elbow, but Eagles sidesteps. He catches Nash, and nails him with a dropkick! Eagles gets up, a bit winded, but yells “Not staying down, not today, and not ever!,” before stomping on Nash’s stomach. Eagles lifts up Nash again, and Irish Whips him, and goes for a clothesline. Nash ducks, and rebounds speedily off the ropes, drilling Eagles with another tackle that leads to a pin…

1…

2…

Josh Eagles kicks out, leading to a highly mixed ovation from the crowd!

Keith Oswalt: First near fall of the match! What’s interesting about this match Eric is that both of these men are so loved here in Pride. Nash, however violent he’s been in this match, is still getting the support he definitely needs to keep going!

Eric Witz: I just wanna see him whoop ass. Send Pride off on a good note!

Nash lifts up Eagles, and begins to Irish Whip him repeatedly into the corners, trying to wear down Eagles back. Eagles manages to reverse one, and Nash goes into the corner, when Eagles yells “COME ON!”, prompting Nash to charge, and the two men colliding, once again going down in a clutter, with the crowd cheering them on! Nash wins the brawl, and stands up, before hitting a short knee to Eagles stomach. Eagles pulls himself up, not ready to give up his title, and Nash charges in again…but Eagles is ready this time. He ducks the big boot, and hits Nash with a jawbreaker that sends him bumbling against the ropes. Nash moves back in, and Eagles responds with a drop toe hold, sending Nash falling face first into the canvas! Nash lies against the apron, and Eagles runs off the ropes, hitting a sliding kick on Nash that sends him out of the ring! However, in keeping with Nash’s high offense style, Eagles grabs Nash, and Irish Whips him into the steel steps!

Eagles then lifts up Nash, and slams him down on the announce table! Both commentators begin to move, as Chris Owens yells angrily from the ring! Eagles ignores him, and slams down Nash’s face on the table! Eagles then seems to get an idea, and gets in the ring. He gets on the turnbuckle, getting the crowd into a frenzy, before smiling, and yelling “It all ends tonight,”…and jumping off, getting huge air, and barely managing to land on Nash, hitting the Legacy Invitation on Nash, breaking the table in half!!! The crowd begins a massive “HOLY SHIT” chant!

Eric Witz: Jesus mother Mary! Goddamn, the Middle East is we didn’t drop Josh Eagles on them with that move!

Keith Oswalt: Josh Eagles may have just killed his back, but Goddamit, he wants to retain tonight!

Both men are down, with neither one really doing much moving for a few seconds. However, Chris Owens soon begins to count…but it’s drowned out by the immense roar of the crowd. Huge “KINGDOM OF PRIDE” chants get both men going, firing them back up! Eagles grabs Nash, and throws him back in the ring, following himself shortly, although with a noticeable limp. Eagles begins to pound on Nash’s back, the clear victim of the Legacy Invitation, causing Nash to go down in pain. Eagles then begins to jam his knee into Nash’s back, before rolling him over and locking in a single leg crab. Nash fights the move, reaches for the ropes, and eventually getting them, causing Eagles to drop them instantly. Eagles lifts up Nash, and Nash breaks his hold, firing in with some tough shots. Nash gets the crowd behind him, increasing the power in each blow, and Irish Whips Eagles. Eagles goes for a clothesline, but Nash hits a massive Wings of the Angel (German Suplex) on Eagles!

Nash brings himself up, his back in clear pain, and goes in the corner, waiting for Josh to get up. He finally does, and spins around, and Nash rushes in to drop the Hammer…but Eagles drops, hitting a low dropkick on Nash’s shins! Eagles moves like a bird of prey, locking in the Walls of Joshico on Edide Nash!

Keith Oswalt: The walls of Joshico!!! Josh Eagles could win the whole damn thing here!

Eric Witz: Get out Nah, get out!

Nash writhes about in pain, refusing to give up as the crowd chants “GET OUT NASH!” Nash hears them, and begins to pull himself towards the ropes, not wanting to give up. Eagles fights in, straining to hold on…but Nash gets the ropes! Eagles releases, and falls forward, clearly tired by the intensity of the move. Eagles then drops some knees into Nash’s back, before standing up, and lifting up Nash with him. Suddenly, Nash breaks the hold, and begins to lay into Eagles with some hard shots! Nash goes into a flurry, burying Eagles in punches, before running against the ropes. Eagles charges, and both men go down due to a double clothesline!

The crowd chants ecstatically, as both men struggle to get up. They eventually get up, avoiding a downed count, and begin to sluggishly throw punches at one another, trying so desperately to win the match. Nash gets the advantage again, and Irish Whips Eagles, who ducks a clothesline off the rebound. However, Nash responds with a scoop slam, followed by some elbow shots to Eagles face! Nash stands up, and rips off his bandana, before bouncing off the ropes and dropping a huge elbow on Eagles! Nash makes a pin…

1…

2…

Josh Eagles kicks out before the 3!

Nash fires himself up, throwing the bandana into the crowd, as he lifts up Eagles and goes into brawler mode, knocking Eagles into the corner and then down into the turnbuckles! Nash Irish Whips Eagles, and Eagles ducks a clothesline, followed by another, before hitting Nash with an enormous running clothesline! Suddenly, Eagles kips up, and yells “Floating like a bird!” Eagles gets the crowd behind him, and walks over, trying to grab Nash…but Nash spins, slamming down Eagles with his own Impact Asylum!!! The crowd is absolutely stunned as Nash pins Eagles…

1…

2…

Kickout before the 3!!!

Keith Oswalt: Eddie Nash used Josh Eagles own finished against him!

Eric Witz: Good, because clearly, his own hasn’t worked so far!

Nash stands up, ready to finish this match-up. He stands in the corner, ready to drop the Hammer, as Eagles tries to pull himself up, using the corner to do. Just as he gets up, Nash moves in, going for it…but Eagles hops up on the ropes, causing Nash to slam HARD against the corner! Eagles then jumps down, and runs off the ropes, dropping the Hammer on Nash himself!!! The crowd is WILD, and Eagles smiles to himself, before crawling over and groggily pinning Nash…

1…

2…

Kickout by Eddie Nash!

Keith Oswalt: In the last two minutes, these two Pride Powerhouses have used each other’s finishing maneuvers to attempt to end this match. Neither worked. How much farther do they have to go?

Eric Witz: Uh…maybe HE has the answer?

The camera focuses on the stage, where Johnny Noble has walked out, unbeknownst to both Eagles and Nash. Both men get up, and begin to trade blows, both Eagles and Nash barely being able to stand. Eagles gets the advantage, throwing harder shots on Nash, before going in for a big one…but Nash ducks, bounces off the ropes, and drops the Hammer on Eagles!!! The crowd cheers, and Nash looks to have won…but Johnny Noble walks down to the ring, catching the attention of Nash, who begins to yell “you will NOT fucking ruin this for me!” Noble smiles, and Nash looks at Eagles, and then Noble, having to make a choice here…before rolling out of the ring and going at it with Johnny Noble! Chris Owens is unsure what to do here, as Nash initiated the attack!

Keith Oswalt: Johnny Noble and Eddie Nash are going at it!!! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!?

Eric Witz: Ha, Chris Owens is like a dumb log in the river…just going with it!

Nash and Noble slam against the barricade, and Noble gets the advantage against the tired Nash, slamming him against the steel! Nash is down, and Noble stands over him…but suddenly, Eagles jumps from the apron, taking out Noble!!! The crowd is cheering, and Nash looks over at Eagles, understanding what needs to happen. Noble looks to get up, but Nash charges him, dropping the Hammer on Noble, slamming him over the steel barricade! Noble goes down into the crowd, getting a “YOU FUCKED UP” chant, as Nash and Eagles lock eyes, and get back in the ring, knowing they need to finish the fight. They get eye to eye, the sweat clearly visible on their brows. This time, Nash throws the first punch, and Eagles blocks it! The two trade blows back and forth, and Eagles backs up against the ropes, before being dropped with a Spinebuster! Nash then gets in the corner, finally ready to end it. He prepares to drop the Hammer, and Eagles stands up. Nash charges, ready to end it…but Eagles jumps clean over Nash, and as Nash turns around, gets dropped with the Impact Asylum!!! Eagles, instead of pinning Nash, takes to the turnbuckle, and looks up, saying…

“Thank you”…and then hitting the Legacy Invitation!!! Josh Eagles makes the pin…

1…

2…



3!

Ike Rose: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND STILL KINGDOM OF PRIDE VALIANT CHAMPION…JOSH EAGLES!

Keith Oswalt: HE DID IT! JOSH EAGLES RETAINED!

Eric Witz: Good God, what a triumph. Josh Eagles is still the Valiant Champion to end the Kingdom of Pride. Among the best ever.

Eagles stands up, and confetti begins to rain down as he’s handed the title. It’s clear how immensely happy he is as he holds the title close to him, loving every moment of it. After a few moments, Nash pulls himself up, and the two nod at one another. Nash exits the ring, just as Kurt Noble and Jeremy Sterling stand on the stage. They begin to applaud the two men.

Keith Oswalt: A standing ovation to end the career of Josh Eagles. What a night it’s been, and what a run it’s been for the Kingdom of Pride. But now, it’s time for the end ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being with us here tonight, and throughout the years.

Eric Witz: Bringing you the best, as only Pride can!

Keith Oswalt: Goodnight ladies and gentlemen!

Eagles holds the title high in the air, as the show freezes, and fades out…

This has been…The Kingdom of Pride.

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