Post by christiankane on Jul 17, 2010 13:16:52 GMT -5
Two titles, Thre- ...Two Girls
'CK's House' - Toronto, Ontario, Canada
July 16th 2:31AM
Since leaving UWL around a month or so ago, Christian Kane has only wrestled once. His opponent on the other hand, Nathan Neale, has wrestled a substantial amount more than that. It is time for CK to prepare for his KoP re-debut. At this moment in time he's lying on a rooftop looking up at the starry night sky...with a hot chick, of course. "Look at all those stars...they're so beautiful."
CK sits up. "You know..." CK turns away from the girl and reads something off what looks like a napkin. "...stars twinkle because the light we see coming from them travels through the atmosphere around the earth and there's tar...um...turbulence in the earth's atmosphere."
The girl now sits up, a look of awe upon her face. "Wooooow. Really?"
"Yeah." CK slips the napkin back into his pocket and flashes a confident grin. "So, Kandi. How about we head back inside...it's getting real cold out here, and I have a bed with your name on it."
Kandi smiles, nervously. "Um...ok, sure."
"Awesome."
---
'CK's House' - Toronto, Ontario, Canada
July 16th 4:24AM
"You're a fucking jackass! I told you to wear a fucking condom!!!"
CK sits up in the bed and bows his head, running a hand through his hair to stop it from falling in his face. "I...don't know what to say, Kandi..."
"How about a fucking apology!?" Kandi exclaims.
"...I'm sorry, Kandi."
She picks up a vase and throws it at Christian. CK ducks causing the vase to smash. Twelve small see-through plastic pouches of white powder fall onto the floor. "You know I'm going to get fucking pregnant now, don't you!?"
Silently, CK shuffles to the edge of the bed and pulls on some red and white cargo shorts. He rests his forearms on his knees, then turns his head slightly. "I'll help."
Kandi looks stunned. "...What?"
CK sighs. "I'll help with the baby - money, clothes, food...whatever. I'll help."
"Okay..." Kandi sits on the bed next to Christian and touches his arm. "Thank you, Christian. This means so much."
Kane nods. "I know, I know." He stands up, walks over to the window on the far side of the room and opens it. CK then turns to Kandi. "Come over here."
"Huh?"
CK grins. "Just come over here, I want to show you something."
"...Alright." She smiles at Christian and walks to where he is, beside the window.
"Look down there in the distance. At that light."
She ducks her head a little bit and squints her eyes. "What light? I can't see a light..."
CK lowers himself beside her and points into the distance. "Come on...right down there, I'm pointing to it."
"Wait lemme get a better position..." Kandi sticks most of her body, up to around the mid torso, out of the window. Following this CK swiftly grabs her ankles... "Christian what are you do- oh my god noooo!!!" ...and throws her out of the window, then shuts it. CK turns on his heels and grabs a duffel bag from under his bed and puts it onto the bed. He then proceeds to unzip the duffel bag and open it out wide. Following this Christian walks around his bedroom grabbing various pieces of his ring gear, and throwing it into the bag. Once he's finished doing that CK zips up the bag, puts it on one shoulders, grabs his car keys and wallet from a bedside table and heads for the front door, singing as he does so. "Just a spoonful of Crissy helps the whole world go round...dum dum da dum dum..." He quickly gets down the stairs, opens the front door and walks outside. As CK closes the front door, a man from a small crowd that has gathered runs over to CK. "Excuse me, sir!"
CK cocks an eyebrow. "Uh...yeah...what?"
"We think a girl fell out of your window!" A man with a flashlight breaks away from the group and heads around the side of the house where Kandi was pushed out of.
"Oh. Yeah - must have been my blow up doll...yeah, the draft must have just pushed her...I mean it right outside the window."
"But we heard a scream..."
"It's a pretty realistic blow up doll, hehe." CK winks at the man.
The man with the flashlight comes back into view. "I SEE BLOOD! I SEE LOTS OF BLOOD! SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCEHH!"
The man with CK tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. "Well...?"
"IT'S A REALISTIC BLOW UP DOLLEHH!" CK pushes past him and gets in his car. He throws the duffel bag onto the backseat (where the magic happens lololololol) and fires up the car. As ambulance and police arrive on the scene, CK pulls out of the drive and speeds off down the street with haste.
---
'Cookeville Community Center' - Nashville, Tennessee
July 17th, 3:53PM
The scene opens with Alex Avice standing in front of a banner promoting KoP's first event since it's re-opening, Oblivion. With his arms crossed he watches two women fighting over something abit further down the corridor.
"Shut up, you bitch. He obviously loves me more than he loves you!"
"Haha, and he showed his affection towards you by driving a railroad spike into your face several times, right?" The girl smirks. "Riiiight."
Suddenly, Christian Kane turns the corner and notices the pair arguing. He drops his duffel bag and shakes his head. "So that's where you two are, arguing in a hallway. I shoulda known." Obviously we can now tell that one of the girls is Dani Clarke, and the other is Jennifer Gonzalez. Dani grabs CK's arm.
"She's saying you love her more! Tell her she's wrong, Christian!"
CK puts his arms around both of them. "I love you both the same! Don't fight over me like this - unless you both wanna get naked and wrestle in baby oil, then I'll condone it. Other wise, shut the fuck up, give me my titles, pick my bag up, and take it to the locker room."
The girls sigh. "Yes, Christian."
"Alright, good. Now give me my titles - I've got an interview to get to." With another collective sigh the girls give CK his ESW titles. "Good girls. Now scram." The girls leave, allowing CK to walk down the corridor to where Alex Avice and his camera man are stationed.
Avice puts out his hand. "Christian, a pleasure seeing you again."
He nods, opting not to shake Avice's hand. "Call me CK. We ready to do this interview, then?"
Avice retracts his hand. "Yeah, sure. I'm just going to run a few questions by you, your re-debut here, your opponent, blah blah blah. That cool?"
"That's cool. Let's make it snappy though, I've got places to be, people to meet. I'm a star, Avice...you know that." CK gets into position next to Avice.
Avice shrugs. "Alright, let's do this then." He motions to the cameraman, who replies with a thumbs up. "Kingdom of Pride's resident interviewer Alex Avice here just a mere day away from Kingdom of Pride's official re-opening! I am excited as ever, and joining me now a Kingdom of Pride original! He is currently the self proclaimed Undisputed ESW Champion, he is Christian Kane!" CK shoots Avice a nasty glare. "So CK, how's life been treating you recently?"
CK shakes his head solemnly. "It's been fuckin' terrible, man. That is, if I hated pussy and cocaine. But I don't, so it's been fuckin' sweet! Whoever said 'don't do drugs' is a fuckin' idiot, it's awesome!" CK looks up gives a thumbs up to the camera.
Avice cocks an eyebrow and nods. "Right then..." He looks down at his cards. "If I have my facts correct here, you actually defeated your former UWL tag team partner Stuart Cage in a match at Supermania around a week ago, but that match was your match since May and in it you weren't really pushed too hard. Do you feel rusty going into your match against Nathan Neale tomorrow night?"
"Yes, you're right, I dominated Stuart Cage at Supermania last Sunday. And yes, you're right, that was my only match since May. And yes, you're right, I wasn't pushed too hard. But Christian Kane doesn't get rusty. When I take time off I train, I recharge my batteries and I become better. If Neale is 100% I'm 200%."
"Speaking of taking time off, you've taken alot of time off in between fed hopping over the past two years, much more so than anyone else. Why is that?"
CK smiles and nods his head. "It's because I'm a party boy, Avice. When you're tucked up in bed with a Mr. Snuggles I'm out doing lines of coke off of a hooker's ass. It's fun, but it drains my battery twice as much as any other wrestler. But enough with all these worthless questions, time to say what people want to hear, also, what you want to hear, Avice. Nathan Neale! Star of the critically acclaimed 'The Neale World'."
"You like it?"
He shrugs his shoulders. "Not much, I'll watch it for the girl occasionally, other than that it was just boring old 'I AM DETERMINED. I AM READY TO FACE ALL THE OBSTACLES IN MY WAY WOOOOOOOOOO.' buuuuuut he got raped by Storm relentlessly when he got called up from Starters to Ignition back in PWF. So you know what that means, Avice?"
The interviewer shakes his head. "Nope..."
"It means Nathan Neale isn't ready to hang with the big dogs yet. He's a small fish in a huge fuckin' pond and his new found douchebag attitude isn't going to hide that fact. He's a punk who needs to be put in his place, and tomorrow night I'm going to do just that, very fuckin' quickly. CK out!" CK slaps Avice on the back, re-adjusts his title belts then walks out of shot, ending the interview.