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Post by Stephen Callaway on Jul 24, 2010 12:37:39 GMT -5
"Be gentle it's my first time"
I can take it. I am prepared to be ripped to pieces but the best way to get something right is to get it wrong and have someone show how it's done right.
Also this is the feedback topic for all my RPs, I'm not starting another topic every damn week. If you read next weeks and want to comment on it, come here and post.
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Veteran Pride Poster
Posts: 408
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Post by ____ on Jul 24, 2010 14:34:03 GMT -5
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Post by Stephen Callaway on Jul 25, 2010 17:21:00 GMT -5
"Finally, I ask that each role play that you are asking for a review on be placed in a separate topic as opposed to one massive thread. It makes it easier to keep track of which pieces I have reviewed, as well as organized by week."
So I can't post the link here and type "Updated"?
*bats eylids*
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Veteran Pride Poster
Posts: 408
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Post by ____ on Jul 25, 2010 17:25:03 GMT -5
" Finally, I ask that each role play that you are asking for a review on be placed in a separate topic as opposed to one massive thread. It makes it easier to keep track of which pieces I have reviewed, as well as organized by week." So I can't post the link here and type " Updated"? *bats eylids* Or, you can take the same amount of time to just make a blasted new post? It takes the same amount of time. |
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Post by Stephen Callaway on Jul 25, 2010 17:41:04 GMT -5
Worth a try.
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Veteran Pride Poster
Posts: 408
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Post by ____ on Jul 26, 2010 11:47:32 GMT -5
I’m going to say this role play really didn’t do it for me, though it may be because I’m big on having things fall in a chronological order. I don’t see how an in-ring promo works as a role play, which theoretically take place well before the show. I know we stretch it to say things are an hour or two before the show, but this pushes it, at least to me, into un-realistic territory. KoP is too small to run a house show to cut a promo at as well, so having a wrestling ring makes no sense. If you want to do something like this, an interview works great, an autograph signing, going onto the radio for a programme, there’s many methods that wouldn’t throw the time space continuum out of wack.
Not only that, but there were a few consistency errors with KoP cannon, this wasn’t the debut show, it was the second. Using international places is also stretching it, however with DVD and Youtube it’s a plausible pass.
The idea for the promo wasn’t bad but it really lacked, you’ve got a chance to compete for the world title and you can only come up with one … sentence really about each of your opponents. I understand E.Nygma as he’s given you sod all to work with, but as a heel, Tommy is the perfect rube to take out with a verbal beating.
With that said, one thing I’ve noticed and I think can greatly improve you is getting away from wrestling. Every single promo I can remember is wrestling centered and there’s absolutely no characterization to Stephen Callaway. If you look at Kurt Noble, he struggled to overcome his addiction and re-invent himself in the eyes of the fans, Chris Hart had to grow up from an immature little snot to dealing with the fact he’s fucking his best friends former girlfriend. You’ve got Tommy who’s trying to turn his life around, from nothing in high school to wrestling star. Turning Callaway into a three dimensional character, with his own faults and strengths would greatly improve not only what he can say about his opponents, but also what your opponents can use against you, creating better role playing for everyone.
As a heel with an angle, shady business deals, swindling a grandmother out of her home, hustling at a pool hall, brute thuggery on the streets to collect a debt. There’s plenty of ways to garner heel heat, to build the Callaway character and thus make it further. I appreciate the wrestling promo as much as anyone but there needs to be a balance. This would be a solid segment for the show, but as a role play leaves so much to be desired.
James.
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