I gave you feedback over on UWL, I'll repost it here if you're on this place first.
I'm going to be hardcore nitpicking here:
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"was it was like to"
- I'm assuming you meant to say what it was like, but you should fix that. Perhaps the judges are grammar nazi's this could cost you points.
"emit’s a heavy sigh"
- First, I don't feel like emit is the proper word for this place. It seems to advanced for a bodily function. Instead I would go with a simpler "let's out". Second, if you choose not to change emit, the grammar for emit, I believe, is off. I don't believe emit is possessive so the word would just be emits, no apostrophe.
" participate in a modern vaudeville"
- While the word vaudeville definitely makes you know what you are talking about, using it in a promo piece sounds horrendous. I've never heard anybody use that word, and to be frank, I had to use dictionary.com to understand the meaning. I don't think that word should be used for a speaking part. As part of a description, it'd be fine, but coming out of Chris's mouth it sounds out of place.
" Previously the cell had seemed small but now with every passing second it seemed as if the white walls were closing in, shrinking the room."
- Saying that the room had previously seemed small then explaining that it is shrinking sounds awkward. It would sound better if you said that the room had seemed spacious before, but as time went on it seemed to shrink. The wording here just seemed a little peculiar.
"Southern Tennessee"
- Southern shouldn't be capitalized. It's an adjective, not a proper noun.
"Illusions of grandeur?"
- While this is from speaking making it more acceptable, the question feels incomplete. I understand that you meant was it for the illusions of grandeur, but again from a grammatical standpoint, you may want to add a few extra words to make that clear. However, since it is from a speaking portion, grammar doesn't exactly have to be perfect.
"These white washed walls, closing in slowly."
- I love this sentence, I really do, but the placing is awkward. You went from questioning why you came to Siberia to saying this, it just felt very forced and out of place.
"Chris pauses for a moment but his gaze remained unmoved."
- You switched from present tense to past tense in the same sentence. That may be fine grammatically, but it seems odd to do that in a sentence. You may want to fix that.
"take on some rube from"
- Rube is another word I don't think you would hear in a wrestling promo. It's short and seems easy to understand, but again that's a word I've never actually heard said and it coming from Chris's mouth would sound odd.
"so called ‘Wing of Death’ I’m"
- I could be wrong, but I believe a comma should be placed after the word Death, but still inside the apostrophe. However, I'm not positive on this.
"Previously an arms length away, it, along with the wall it was situated upon now appear to be hovering right next to the bed."
- I believe a comma is needed after the word upon as it appears that you took a break from the word it, explained what was with it, then went back to explaining what "it" was doing.
" They do not know what I’m capable of inside of the ring, grainy footage only adding to the mystery of Chris Hart."
- Perhaps placing a "the" in front of the word grainy would make this make more sense, but as it stands the wording seems strange. I understand what is being said, but using a "the" would make the sentence clearer.
"square circle."
- The term is squared circle.
"when their lungs can no longer provide the oxygen need of the body"
- This would sound better if you said 'no longer provide the body the oxygen it needs.' The way it is worded now seems incorrect, if I knew the correct way to grammatically fix it, I would, but unfortunately I'm listening to a crying baby at this point so my mind isn't quite as sharp as I'd like it to be, maybe you can fix of a way to make the quoted statement make grammatical sense without switching the words around.
"risking the plush future"
- While there is nothing wrong with this statement, saying the word plush in my head just doesn't sound right. I feel like there could be a better word instead of plush, I just can't think of it at the moment.
"Not I though."
- While it works here, I believe this is the second or third time you've said 'not I' in the last two paragraphs. Seems to be a little over used, especially when the first word of both of the paragraphs is not.
"the be all end all"
- I think a comma should be used after the first all, but this I'm not certain of. I could very easily be wrong.
"These four walls to some a prison, are to me the gates of heaven."
- This sentence seems strange. For two reasons, earlier you said there were only three walls to the cell, allowing for it to be assumed that there were the three walls then the iron bars. Secondly, this is strange because in the description you've been writing up how the walls seem to be closing in on Chris making it sound like it would be a prison, or a hell, but now in his dialogue, he says they are the gates of heaven. I understand what you meant by this and how this is Chris's big chance to make himself a star, but the description throughout the roleplay contradicts this statement.
" Though he’s been in the cell for less than fifteen minutes, the claustrophobic atmosphere has already lead to a growing tension in his muscles."
- This statement comes very shortly after saying how the prison was a gate to heaven. It seems contradictory that a gate to a paradise such as heaven would be claustrophobic and cause tension.
"Here in Siberia, the allegiances we’ve forged outside of facility die a quick death, survival, more than allegiance to a cause serving as a guiding purpose."
- Maybe it's just the crying babies that I've been listening to for the past 15 minutes, but this sentence seemed very confusing. It seemed overly confusing and very hard to follow. I can't exactly put my finger on what could be done to fix this sentence.
"He can simply sit here in deep meditation, in contemplative reflection but that will do him no good."
- I think using "there" instead of "here" would work better in this situation, because saying here would imply that he is in the same cell as you.
"Stopping his pacing, Chris looks around the room and begins to blink rapidly, trying to adjust as all four walls appear to be closing in on him even more. The sink, previously along the bed appears to be on it. The door, about a foot away from the bed before, has taken away that much from it. The former eight by six now appears to be a two by two, with the only available floor space the two tiles he is presently standing on. This doesn’t appear to faze Chris though as he continues on."
- Using all of the concerning descriptions and making it sound like Chris is already losing his sanity is all negated by saying Chris is unfazed by it. By using that last sentence, the whole description is ruined because, I don't know about you, but most people feeling walls close in on them would be freaking out about it.
"He, along with RJ Palmer provide"
- I believe a comma after Palmer would be needed to show that you are going back to your main point.
"R.J Palmer"
- Take out the period. Throughout the promo you've referred to him as RJ Palmer. Adding the period of R.J Palmer shows indecision for the name. Go all the way with one name, don't switch up the name, especially at the end. If his name is R.J Palmer, not RJ Palmer, a quick replace in Word will take care of this for you.
"Chris stops and finds himself now standing in the sink, on top of the bed, the walls having finally pressed in on him to the point where he can barely move. His face and actions show signs of panic, immediately trying to push the walls back to no avail. Stopping, he halts his breathing entirely and closes his eyes, trying to collect himself and gather his emotions. When his eyes open, the sea blue from before is instead replaced by a steely grey, the nervous scowl instead replaced by a sickening smile."
- Having this come right after saying that his surroundings didn't faze him seems strange. And grey is misspelled. It's gray, not grey. I know, it get's me every time.
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Outside of these notes, as a whole I did enjoy the roleplay. I thought you hyped up the match excellently and explained why Chris Hart would enter the tournament and voluntarily subject himself to the torture he is. I loved the concept of the roleplay, well of the tournament really, and how you didn't make it seem forced.
The only thing, outside of my criticisms, I'd like to see changed is the way Nikolai was used. I'm not sure if he's a legitimate person or not, but if he's a self-created person, I'd like to see more interaction with him, because the description you used on him made me want to know more about him in general. However, if he is another person's character, then ignore this comment.
Well, that's really all I have to say, I hope you do well in the tournament, I'm rooting for you.
~ Sterling