Post by Stephen Callaway on Jul 29, 2010 17:52:25 GMT -5
We see Stephen Callaway sitting on a park bench.
Stephen Callaway
"My Business Manager, Laura recently told me that she thought my losing was due to my gimmick. She then suggested I get a new one. I asked some fans. Three agreed with Laura, two said 'piss off' and one said 'Fuck off, Paedo!'
Point is, Internet viewer, I have decided to try some new gimmicks to see what sticks. This video here on the KoP website is some of those tryouts. Any gimmick you like feel free to PM me at Stopthecrappygimmicksforfucksake@KOPdotkom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. We see Stephen Callaway. He's dressed like this blogs.coventrytelegraph.net/passtheremote/David-Tennant.jpg
He's trying out a Doctor Who Gimmick.
Stephen Callaway/The Doctor
"Phantasmagora! It is I The Doctor and I have come to the planet Kop to rid the planet of the evil alien race: The Daleks.
We see Callaway's wife Valerie carry on cardboard cutouts of The Daleks theurbanwire.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dalek.jpg with pictures of Adam Abel, E.Nygma, Funky and Nathan Neale on them.
Valerie (not even trying to do it properly and instead sounding deadpan)
"Exterminate. Exterminate."
Stephen Callaway/The Doctor
"It's all about time and space! I will now defeat you with my Sonic Calsikick."
A funny beeping sound is heard but Callaway just Calsi Kicks the cutouts
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. We see Stephen Callaway. He's in a swimming pool and appears to be painted green. Although the water seems to be washing off the paint.
Stephen Callaway
"I am 'The Swamp Master' Stephen Callaway. And if Douglas, Rodriguez or Storm cross me at Return to the Kingdom, then I will ............."
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. He's now dressed like The Joker from The Dark Knight.
Stephen Callaway
"All it takes Batman, is one thing. (licks the side of his mouth) I put Kurt Noble in charge so Gotham will see wrestling for what it really is. It's just so funny (he laughs. It's more of a chuckle than a Joker laugh) But at the end of the show, we're all going to see my ace in the hole. When I become the first KoP Champion, (licks mouth again) there will be nothing you can do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. He's dressed like a masked luchador. He has a wig stuck to the mask, fake tan and a clearly fake Mexican accent.
Stephen Callaway
"Ello people of the Kop. Once The Cals has won the title he's gonna drink tequila and do the drugs and celebrate by running naked through Australian hotels. Tequila!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. Dressed in leather and a fake mustache held on by tape he looks roughly like i57.photobucket.com/albums/g204/automatic_writing/VillagePeopleGuy.jpg
Stephen Callaway (in a high pitched camp voice)
"Hi campers! I know it's going to be hard and sweaty but I cannot tell you how excited I am to go in to the show this weekend and face seven men all at the same time. I know there's only one man in there on Sunday named funky, but I hope we all get down and funky."
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. We see Stephen Callaway. He's dressed normally and back on the park bench.
Stephen Callaway
"As I told Laura, you can change my gimmick all you want. You can dye my crew-cut blond and call me Dixie, but at the end of the day I am still me. I am the one going to Return to the Kingdom. I am the one who will beat Adam Unabel, Big Man Dusty, Enygma, A Funkette, Nathan Unreale, Rage Rodriguezzzzz and Storm In A Teacup in a Last Chance Saloon. I am the one who will then, in the same night defeat Chris Hartattack, Christine Kane, Fly With The Eagles, Justin Sofft, Mobscene, Tommy Hillfinger and my personal favourite Steve Watson TV and become the new KoP Champion.
I am the one who ALWAYS has an angle. Always. And I am the one who will be Champion!"
The camera cuts again but this time we fade to black
END PROMO
Stephen Callaway
"My Business Manager, Laura recently told me that she thought my losing was due to my gimmick. She then suggested I get a new one. I asked some fans. Three agreed with Laura, two said 'piss off' and one said 'Fuck off, Paedo!'
Point is, Internet viewer, I have decided to try some new gimmicks to see what sticks. This video here on the KoP website is some of those tryouts. Any gimmick you like feel free to PM me at Stopthecrappygimmicksforfucksake@KOPdotkom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. We see Stephen Callaway. He's dressed like this blogs.coventrytelegraph.net/passtheremote/David-Tennant.jpg
He's trying out a Doctor Who Gimmick.
Stephen Callaway/The Doctor
"Phantasmagora! It is I The Doctor and I have come to the planet Kop to rid the planet of the evil alien race: The Daleks.
We see Callaway's wife Valerie carry on cardboard cutouts of The Daleks theurbanwire.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/dalek.jpg with pictures of Adam Abel, E.Nygma, Funky and Nathan Neale on them.
Valerie (not even trying to do it properly and instead sounding deadpan)
"Exterminate. Exterminate."
Stephen Callaway/The Doctor
"It's all about time and space! I will now defeat you with my Sonic Calsikick."
A funny beeping sound is heard but Callaway just Calsi Kicks the cutouts
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. We see Stephen Callaway. He's in a swimming pool and appears to be painted green. Although the water seems to be washing off the paint.
Stephen Callaway
"I am 'The Swamp Master' Stephen Callaway. And if Douglas, Rodriguez or Storm cross me at Return to the Kingdom, then I will ............."
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. He's now dressed like The Joker from The Dark Knight.
Stephen Callaway
"All it takes Batman, is one thing. (licks the side of his mouth) I put Kurt Noble in charge so Gotham will see wrestling for what it really is. It's just so funny (he laughs. It's more of a chuckle than a Joker laugh) But at the end of the show, we're all going to see my ace in the hole. When I become the first KoP Champion, (licks mouth again) there will be nothing you can do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. He's dressed like a masked luchador. He has a wig stuck to the mask, fake tan and a clearly fake Mexican accent.
Stephen Callaway
"Ello people of the Kop. Once The Cals has won the title he's gonna drink tequila and do the drugs and celebrate by running naked through Australian hotels. Tequila!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. Dressed in leather and a fake mustache held on by tape he looks roughly like i57.photobucket.com/albums/g204/automatic_writing/VillagePeopleGuy.jpg
Stephen Callaway (in a high pitched camp voice)
"Hi campers! I know it's going to be hard and sweaty but I cannot tell you how excited I am to go in to the show this weekend and face seven men all at the same time. I know there's only one man in there on Sunday named funky, but I hope we all get down and funky."
~~~~~~~~~~~~The camera cuts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New scene. We see Stephen Callaway. He's dressed normally and back on the park bench.
Stephen Callaway
"As I told Laura, you can change my gimmick all you want. You can dye my crew-cut blond and call me Dixie, but at the end of the day I am still me. I am the one going to Return to the Kingdom. I am the one who will beat Adam Unabel, Big Man Dusty, Enygma, A Funkette, Nathan Unreale, Rage Rodriguezzzzz and Storm In A Teacup in a Last Chance Saloon. I am the one who will then, in the same night defeat Chris Hartattack, Christine Kane, Fly With The Eagles, Justin Sofft, Mobscene, Tommy Hillfinger and my personal favourite Steve Watson TV and become the new KoP Champion.
I am the one who ALWAYS has an angle. Always. And I am the one who will be Champion!"
The camera cuts again but this time we fade to black
END PROMO
