Post by Better Than Johnny Noble on Aug 6, 2010 13:28:31 GMT -5
What makes a tag team is hours upon hours upon hours together making sure you're on the same wavelength. Correct? Well it certainly needs time to create good units. And some of the best tag teams have been formed by brothers who have been brought up with each other. So if you're SWC and JDP you're going to be spending as much time together as possible, right? Because if you don't you're going to fail to impress management enough for a contract, right? Yes.
YES?! HAVE YOU IDIOTS EVEN MET JOHN PARKER?! HOW CAN YOU SPEND MORE THAN 5 MINUTES WITH HIM WITHOUT WANTING TO TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE?! YOU CAN'T!
Heh. I guess that makes this situation mighty interesting for SWC then ^_^
!!!
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The scene opens up to show SWC stretching slightly as he watches footage from Chris Hart tag teaming with Kurt Noble to face off against Chris Strike and his tag team partner Lyn Dallins - the perfect match to study how both cope in a tag team atmosphere. John Parker, though, is sitting in a corner giggling as he throws a bouncy ball to the floor and against a wall before catching it. He's been doing it for hours. He's an easily amused kinda guy.
YES?! HAVE YOU IDIOTS EVEN MET JOHN PARKER?! HOW CAN YOU SPEND MORE THAN 5 MINUTES WITH HIM WITHOUT WANTING TO TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE?! YOU CAN'T!
Heh. I guess that makes this situation mighty interesting for SWC then ^_^
!!!
"""
£££
$$$
%%%
^^^
&&&
***
(((
)))
___
+++
===
---
¬¬¬
```
The scene opens up to show SWC stretching slightly as he watches footage from Chris Hart tag teaming with Kurt Noble to face off against Chris Strike and his tag team partner Lyn Dallins - the perfect match to study how both cope in a tag team atmosphere. John Parker, though, is sitting in a corner giggling as he throws a bouncy ball to the floor and against a wall before catching it. He's been doing it for hours. He's an easily amused kinda guy.
*THUD*
*THUD*
*THUD*
With each thud, of which there have been countless by now, SWC loses another bit of his mind. Now, the poor lad's always been flakey (ROFLMAO! >_>), but this seems to have pushed him too far.
SWC: CAN'T YOU STOP THAT CONSTANT BANGING FOR ONE MINUTE AND LET ME WATCH SOME FILM?! IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANY SCOUTING FOR THIS WEEK AT LEAST MAKE ME BLOODY WELL DO SOME!
John looks hurt. The shouting also startled him so he didn't catch the ball and it hit him in the eye. The poor lad looks pitiful.
John Parker: But...but...but...but the turtle!
SWC: What turtle?
Silly question SWC, my man. A giant turtle about say....this big
flies down from the sky and only narrowly misses him. It does, however, destroy the TV and footage of the match SWC was watching.
flies down from the sky and only narrowly misses him. It does, however, destroy the TV and footage of the match SWC was watching.
SWC: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS!
John Parker: IT'S A TURTLE!
John's face is of pure, unadultered joy. He claps his hands together like a seal.
SWC: I can see that. But h--how the hell? Ah forget it. I need to go and get another bloody tape now. And another bloody TV!
SWC sighs angrily as he gets to his feet and storms to the door. As he opens the door Chris is standing there, not looking, and trying to knock on the door. Instead of the door he finds SWC's face. SWC IS NOT IMPRESSED! He might not be impressed by still being called SWC either. But what're y'gunna do.
SWC: What the hell are you doing?!
Chris: WOT?!
Chris jumps out of his skin. He's pretty surprised he was just punching a wrestler in the head. When he gets home he'll say it wasn't an accident and that he "did him in".
SWC: Why are you knocking on my face?
Chris: I thought you were a door.
SWC: You think I'm a piece of wood?!
Chris: You are a bit wooden tbf.
SWC's face screws up in rage.
SWC: WHAT DID YOU WANT?!
Chris: I wanted to see if it's ok for John to come out and play.
SWC: ...
Chris: Wot?
SWC: I'm not his bloody keeper. Ask him yourself!
Chris: John!
JDP comes to the door and pokes his head around near the floor.
Chris: Wanna come and play some footy.
John Parker: Sure!
SWC: Before a match? A match where you need to impress I might add. We both do.
Chris: Calm down sahn. It's physical training.
SWC: And if he gets injured?
John Parker: I won't be that stupid.
SWC stares at John, not convinced. He asks again.
SWC: Would you get injured and cost us the match?
SWC looks down at the innocent grin on John's face who is practically lying on the floor.
SWC: Just go. Give me some peace and quiet!
John grins and gets to his feet before running off with Chris. SWC slams the door shut and sits down.
SWC: Finally. Some time to myself.
Just then the giant turtle releases a huge fart. SWC's face screws up as we fade to his tag team partner's adventure.
John Parker: So how come we're playing football? We've never done it before.
Chris: Bob brought a football with him back from the wedding. He said his 5 year old cousin tought him some skillz he wants to show off.
On cue Bob walks into shot with his jabulani football. The world cup one if you fellas don't realise. This one...
John Parker: How was the wedding, Bob?
Bob: Good, good. Got nice and drunk. And nice and high.
John Parker: Any sheep there?
John asks with a wink which casues Chris to burst out laughing. Bob pulls what can only be described as a "rob face". Why Rob? I dunno.
Bob: Shut up. Jimmy said he should be playing too. We've got someone else to play as well. It'll be them two against us.
The trio of misfits head outside where they see Jimmy and Bob kicks the ball towards him but slices it.
Bob: FUCKING BALL! MOVES THROUGH THE AIR TOO MUCH!
Chris is busy waving at Jimmy whilst we follow the line of a ball and it's controlled by someone in a Brazil shirt perfectly. He does a few tricks with it whilst Bob and John watch on with a bad feeling that this is Jimmy's partner.
John Parker: Chris!
*STRIKE*
Chris spins to look at the tricks but a lightning strike has just killed the man. Didums 4 him. Another one hits him. Just to prove that lightning DOES strike twice. Guess if he wasn't dead and able to be pinned in some sort of wrestling contest, not that I'm sure he would be , it would be pretty easy now.
But wait, where's the rain you ask? There isn't any. No clouds either. So let's move on shall we?
But wait, where's the rain you ask? There isn't any. No clouds either. So let's move on shall we?
Jimmy: FUCKING CUNTS JUST KILLED MY TAG TEAM PARTNER! I mean football playing partner.
Chris: Calm dahn sahn.
Bob: Yeah, Jimmy. We didn't do it on purpose.
John Parker: BOB DID!
John points at Bob who Jimmy turns on with a look of total hate in his eyes.
Bob: Woah, woah, woah. Let's not do anything hasty here. How about we play in half an hour instead. Giving you time to find two partners?
Jimmy: Fine! I'm off to search oot and aboot then.
Jimmy trots off whilst Bob breaths a sigh of relief.
Bob: Why the hell did you say that?!
John Parker: It was the only way I could stop him from going after me again!
Bob: You weren't even in the frame for anything!
John Parker: Look, I'm going to have to deal with another stupid Canadian in the main event. I can do without having one trying to break my legs in football too. But now I'm not the guy he hates most on our team.
Bob: Fuck you!
John Parker: No u!
Chris: CANTONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Chris brakes up the argument the only way he knows how. A very impressive running dropkick to Bob's chest. Bob flaps around on the floor like a fish out of water whilst Chris gets to his feet and does the Randy Orton pose.
Chris: Didn't botch than now, did I m8!
At this moment, though, Jimmy returns with two stocky lads in Dutch shirts.
John Parker: Game on?
Jimmy: Yeah. Cunts.
Bob gets to his feet and we're away! But we're not some Tic Tic novel so you're not going to be hearing everything that happens in this classic of a match though. But it starts off with our three heroes on top and showing some nice pieces of skill. Bob is a welsh wizard on the wing, Chris is getting in some decent slide tackles and John seems untackable! That is until...BAM!
John Parker is down! Being the man he is he gets back up but things begin to go down hill for his side and Jimmy and the Dutch start to pile on more and more pressure and start to get goals back. John goes on another run but is brutally scythed down by another of his Dutch opponents.
John Parker is down! Being the man he is he gets back up but things begin to go down hill for his side and Jimmy and the Dutch start to pile on more and more pressure and start to get goals back. John goes on another run but is brutally scythed down by another of his Dutch opponents.
Chris: FAHKIN DUTCH WANKERS!
Bob: Yeah. Jimmy, who the hell are these guys? Wayne Carr and Anas Rhammar?
Jimmy merely looks smug as Bob and Chris pull John to a seated position. His chest has a bootmark and now his ankle is in agony too.
Chris: You alright to continue, m8?
Bob: Yeah, you've got a match coming up remember. Don't want to get injured bud.
John Parker: Nah, I'm fine. If I can't beat this Canadian and his butt buddies how can I do so in the ring?
John forces himself to his feet Rocky style before glaring at his opponents.
Bob: NEXT GOAL'S THE WINNER!
Jimmy gets the ball early and John, in one swift movement, nails him in the balls! He gets the ball and spreads it to Bob who lays it back to him past one of the Dutch cunts. Bob gets flattened but John is suddenly free and Chris is bursting into the 'penalty area'! John delivers a picture perfect cross to Chris' head and Chris prepares, unmarked. But at the last minute he twists and goes for an overhead kick! Stupid fucker misses the ball totally and lands awkwardly.
Chris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'VE TWISTED MY FAHKIN ANKLE!
The other Dutch guy gets the ball and scores. The cunts win, as is so often the way in life. Bob is crying. It's unclear if it's because he took a hit or because he lost. Cause we know he doesn't like losing. Not one bit. In fact, he gets his ball and just walks off with John.
Chris: OI! M8! HELP A POOR COCKNEY LAD UP! I THINK I'VE BROKEN THIS THING!
John and Bob help up their fallen teammate whilst the Dutch and Jimmy celebrate.
John Parker: Not sure what you two are celebrating about. Three finals, three second place world cup finishes aint it?
Suddenly their faces turn to rage and they charge towards John and thus Bob and Chris too.
John Parker: SHEEEEEEEEEEEEET! RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Fade out.